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Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition Paperback – June 15, 2012
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About the Author
Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant. Dr. Bernstein is also the author of Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull.
Top Customer Reviews
Which version should you buy? Buy the original version if you are just starting out in learning about personality disorders. The original version is written for the novice, and shows each personality type defined and described to perfection. Dr. Bernstein will give you tips at the end of each personality type for dealing with their tantrums, tirades, schemes, alternate states of reality, hypnosis, paranoid delusions, aloofness, passive-aggressive assaults, and eyebrow-raising verbal cues.
However, if you already have some experience diagnosing personality disorders and want a more in-depth look, then I encourage you to get the Second Edition. Here you will find a wealth of information on drama queens, bullies, control freaks, daredevils, used car salesmen (not the actual, but maybe also the actual), lovable rogues, gossip queens, the terminally depressed, narcissistic legends, tiger moms, puritans and perfectionists.
Whew! The list is long and tiring, but think about it, if you don't have this trusty book hidden underneath your mattress, how could you possibly navigate a world full of Emotional Vampires? And in the age of the Kardashians, Facebook, iphones, botox, Paris Hilton, and Narcissistic politicians in high office, there may be more of THEM than there are of US.
If you can answer yes to all those questions you may have one or more emotional vampires in your life. Like the fictional blood-sucking variety they may seem more attractive and more fun than anyone else you've ever known. But you need to be aware that this is just the surface and something much darker lurks underneath.
This fascinating, amusing and frightening book will help you to understand the vampire in your life and may help you to salvage a bit of your own life from the wreckage before you become just an accessory to the vampire. The author divides emotional vampires into categories - antisocial vampires, histrionic vampires, narcissistic vampires, obsessive-compulsive vampires, paranoid vampires. Some people may show tendencies from all these categories and all human being may exhibit some of the symptoms and behaviours at times.
The author demonstrates by means of everyday scenarios how vampires manipulate you into doing what they want you to. They put you in the wrong so that you feel obliged to help them and they twist what you say and use it against you. The only way to deal with them is to play them at their own game and stand your ground even if means ending your relationship with the vampire. Even if you don't think there is a vampire in your life at present this is still interesting reading if you are interested in psychology.
Berstein talked about different types of narcissists, which I began to feel was from a less empirical source and a more personal one, particularly the Narcissistic super star, whom he regarded quite highly. He seemed to be writing a manuscript on how to deal with a (super star) narcissist in a way that I believe a narcissist would like to be dealt with, but not necessarily healthy for the non-narcissist. For example, he talked about narcissists being behind the success of today -- without success there is no narcissist and vice versa. The appropriate ways to deal with a narcissist then is to compliment him frequently, only align your needs with his, and then present all your desires in that fashion -- most literature describes this way of interacting with a narcissist in a mockingly fashion, like: if you are with a narcissist, be prepared to make it all about him, deny your own needs, have no sense of self, etc. (like you get the feeling that THIS way of interacting with a narcissist is masochistic, wrong) -- but he meant it literally as advice.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
A very simplistic view on personality and mental disorders. Perfect for the non professional. I gave it to a manager as an introduction as to why so many patients behave badly. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Jill E. Griffin
The Amazon company was great and there was no problem with the shipping, but I didn't really like the book. It wasn't very helpful.Published 2 months ago by spicymomma
Interesting, and real professional insight as to understanding several of these types of individuals.Published 2 months ago by Sitter
This book has been extremely helpful for me to be able to function within a dis functional work environment. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Shari Whitico