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Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult toward Success and Self-Reliance Paperback – July 6, 2010

4.0 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Offers guidance on how 20-somethings can be encouraged to move forward while maintaining healthy family relationships.” ―Baltimore Jewish Times

“Sachs' wonderful book, Emptying the Nest, is wonderful blend of valuable insights, innovative advice, and much needed 'loving accountability' for young adults and their families. This book is a 'must have' for every parent seeking to foster not only self pride and independence for their adolescent/emerging adult, but for themselves as well.” ―Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., Child and Family Psychologist and author of 10 Days to Less Defiant Child

“In Emptying the Nest, Brad Sachs once again insightfully maps out the challenging terrain of contemporary parenthood. Skillfully and gently, he leads readers through the complex choreography required not only to help young adults achieve the well-documented need for healthy separation and self-sufficiency, but also to help them cultivate what is often overlooked - that a life well-lived must have significance and meaning. Practical and compassionate, innovative and empathic, this book provides parents with the necessary tools to finish the job right. Emptying the Nest will help empower family members of two generations to evolve into the next stage of development, growing towards a new and deeper maturity.” ―Madeline Levine, Ph.D, author of The Price of Privilege

“Finally a book with wise, clear and do-able advice for parents not only as their children emerge into adulthood, but also for the parents themselves as they them selves emerge from the responsibilities of the nest into a new stage of their own lives.” ―Ruth Nemzoff, author of Don't Bite Your Tongue

“Brad Sachs has produced an excellent book that captures the obstacles, challenges, and joys of helping young adults achieve independence … a wonderful resource for parents and professionals alike. ” ―Robert Brooks, Faculty, Harvard Medical School and co-author of Raising Resilient Children

“Finally, there's a timely book that thoughtfully addresses the dilemmas plaguing parents and their "not ready for prime time" young adults who won't or can't leave home. In Emptying the Nest, family psychologist Brad Sachs zeroes in on the parent/grown child issues which interfere with a healthy and self-assured departure. With piercing insight, compassion, and a measure of firmness, Dr. Sachs helps us to chart the course for the modern young adult's march towards independence and maturity. Beautifully written, informative, and filled with vivid real-life vignettes, it's a must read for all parents concerned about their child's lingering, and their own difficulty letting go.” ―Neil Bernstein, Ph.D., parenting expert and author of There When He Needs You

“For almost three decades, family psychologist Brad Sachs has written about parents and children with wit, warmth, and wisdom. In his newest and much-needed volume, Emptying the Nest, he offers us unique insight and realistic counsel when it comes to addressing the dilemmas and conflicts that arise when young adults have returned to their parents' home, or are having difficulty leaving. With an unwavering focus on the reciprocal needs of parent and young adult, Sachs reassuringly guides readers through the last stage of hands-on parenthood with a generous helping of care, candor, and sensitivity.” ―Jerrold Lee Shapiro, Ph.D., Professor at Santa Clara University and author of The Measure of a Man

“This wonderfully written book is chock full of useful concrete advice and insights. With specific suggestions for defusing chronic family impasses, Sachs provides a roadmap to family resolution that will benefit parents and children. Therapists will find the numerous case examples especially helpful in understanding how to work with families whose offspring cannot quite make it out the door to adulthood.” ―Geoffrey Greif, Professor of Social Work, University of Maryland

“Young adulthood has become a perilous journey of late, filled with detours and dead ends that leave all too many young people side-tracked. Emptying the Nest by Brad Sachs provides a compassionate, thoughtful roadmap toward a successful adulthood that is likely to be useful not only to parents, but to young adults themselves. The book is chock full of compelling stories documenting both the detours and the successful the paths to young adulthood. It provides guidance not only for emptying the nest, but for sending our youth off on a successful flight toward a fulfilling adulthood.” ―Joseph P. Allen, author of Escaping the Endless Adolescence

“This book is filled with sensible advice for parents of emerging adults. Drawing on his many years of experience treating young adults and their families, Sachs presents their stories with insights that will surely help others through this eventful and sometimes difficult time of life.” ―Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Clark University, author of "Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens through the Twenties

“With wisdom, warmth, and wit, Brad Sachs puts the fun back into parenting.” ―Armin A. Brott, author of The Expectant Father and The New Father, on The Good Enough Child

“As soon as I looked at the title I thought, 'YES!' I know it will help a lot of parents...” ―Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Ten Talks Parents Must Have with Their Children about Sex and Character, on The Good Enough Child

“A thoughtful, intelligently written, yet readable book with much wisdom and insight to offer on parenting, family life, and marriage... an extremely valuable perspective.” ―Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., author of The Explosive Child, on The Good Enough Child

“A truly remarkable book…provides a wealth of information about parenting skills, but does so within a framework that helps parents to learn to accept their own strengths and vulnerabilities as well as those of their children.” ―Dr. Robert Brooks, co-author of Raising Resilient Children, on The Good Enough Child

About the Author

Dr. Brad Sachs is a psychologist and author of the nationally recognized parenting books, The Good Enough Child and The Good Enough Teen. He has appeared on over three hundred radio and television shows, including 20/20 and The Diane Rehm Show. He regularly contributes to Redbook, Parenting, Parents, Child, and American Baby, and is on the faculty of the Cape Cod Institute. He lives in Columbia, MD.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (July 6, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0230620582
  • ISBN-13: 978-0230620582
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #763,903 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My husband and I launched our two young adults over the last 4 years. The launch experience was loaded with challenges and traumas, so I purchased this book primarily to seek understanding of our experience and confirmation of the approaches we took. (Yes, our young adults are now self-reliant and we are going to keep it that way.)Out of my launching experience, I am now able to confidently coach clients who are launching their young adults.

Brad Sachs is a seasoned psychologist who has worked with hundreds of clients to enhance their family relationships. His writing style is warm and winsome. The content is organized, practical and insightful. As I was reading the tips and tools he provides, I secretly wished that I had access to this book at least 10-15 years earlier when our children were just little.

He outlines the developmental tasks for the young adult and the family dydnamics that either help or hinder such development. He also highlights some developmental tasks for parents, an insight that may be surprising to some parents but an insight I have gained through our launching challenges. In a nutshell, Sachs does an excellent job of articulating the key feature of the launching process: the ability to launch well is an art and the relationship with your young adults in this launching phase is a dance. The turnkey solution to the challenge of launching is for parents to strike a balance between Parent Guidance and Parent Control and prepare for separation.

This book is a critical guidebook for parents attempting to sail in the rough waters of launching young adults.
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Format: Paperback
The author of this book is a psychologist, and he writes with authority on the topic of preparing young people to make their way out in the real world. The author makes the case that parents should never give up on their children. He stresses that the parents have not completed their job until the child moves successfully through adolescence to adulthood, to become an independent adult.

The advice offered in the book is appropriate, since parents have many "excuses" for the reasons that their children are not independent of the parent's sphere of influence or control. There is a fine line between supporting a child and enabling the child, and the author goes into details where the lines should be drawn.

It is important for parents to read this book well before their children are planning to strike out on their own. There are many important skills that parents should teach to their children and young adults at various stages in their lives. Notably: worldliness, how to act out in the workplace, hot to develop and build relationships, how to budget money, etc.

Parents are entrusted with the task of imparting the tools for teaching their children how to separate from them, according to this author. The children are expected to reach the end result of living productive lives. The author notes that children who have been encouraged to be self-reliant usually will thrive when let out on their own to make their way in the world. Other issues discussed in the book include: failure of the child to launch, the "rites" and wrongs of passage, and understanding how to communicate with young people at any age. The book includes communication and discussion topic starters, answers and suggestions to how parents can open talks with their children on the tough issues, and more.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book provides excellent insight into the process of preparing both the young adult and the family for the future. The style easily allows the reader to identify with situations and evaluate what that may mean for their specific family. We are using this as a resource to lead a small group of families at our church through this process and are finding it very valuable. When we combine this with our own scriptural focus it has made for very meaningful discussion and preparation.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Must read this book if you have older teens (or even younger ones) and especially if you have older kids who don't seem motivated to get out on their own. Practical ideas for parents and kids.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
THIS BOOK OPEN THE DOOR TO HOPE FOR ME. I STARTED LIVING AGAIN AND BEGAN TO LET GO. STILL STRUGGLE WITH A YOUNG ADULT WHO'S SCARE TO BE ON HIS OWN BUT I'M OPTIMISTIC BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT IS NOT ALL ON ME AND MY SON HAS A LOT MORE STRENGTH THAN I GAVE HIM CREDIT FOR. Thanks Dr. Sachs
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