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The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy Hardcover – April 2, 2013
by
Donna Freitas
(Author)
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Donna Freitas
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Print length240 pages
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LanguageEnglish
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PublisherBasic Books
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Publication dateApril 2, 2013
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Grade level8 and up
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Reading age13 years and up
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Dimensions5.25 x 0.88 x 8.75 inches
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ISBN-100465002153
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ISBN-13978-0465002153
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Boston Globe
[A] straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening book . This compelling testimony from young people around the country provides ample evidence for why this campus lifestyle should not be ignored.”
Christianity Today
Freitas provides compelling evidence that far too many young adults live lives of quiet desperationsexually and socially...The End of Sex paints a vivid portrait of hookup culture There is much in The End of Sex to applaud.”
Toronto Star
The book is informative, non-judgmental and a must-read for parents and for their university-aged kids although once you become immersed in it you'll be screaming (as I was), Oh spirit, show me no more.' But keep reading and start figuring out a new conversation with the kids or they may never know what love's got to do with it.'"
Publishers Weekly
[A] scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities . [Freitas] encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex.”
The Atlantic
"[An] important, wise, and brave new book...The short book, written in the style of an informative and impassioned pamphlet, is painfully accurate in its assessment of the idiocy that passes for sexuality in the dormitory. Freitas' argument is well-researched and well-grounded, and she is sharp enough to condemn hookup culture on sexual grounds, rather than ethical grounds.... Her indictment couldn't be stronger.... Freitas's work is important because it offers a third way toward sexual independence and autonomy in an America caught between Puritanism and pornography. Rather than morally condemning college students for promiscuity or telling them to treat romance with the detached analysis of the headhunter, she is promising them that better sexmore fun, excitement, and intensityis available."
Wall Street Journal
"Illuminating.... Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the 'harmless hookup.'... Freitas's book is a timely and alarming wake-up call to students, college administrators and parents, and she presents a compelling argument against the hookup culture.”
[A] straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening book . This compelling testimony from young people around the country provides ample evidence for why this campus lifestyle should not be ignored.”
Christianity Today
Freitas provides compelling evidence that far too many young adults live lives of quiet desperationsexually and socially...The End of Sex paints a vivid portrait of hookup culture There is much in The End of Sex to applaud.”
Toronto Star
The book is informative, non-judgmental and a must-read for parents and for their university-aged kids although once you become immersed in it you'll be screaming (as I was), Oh spirit, show me no more.' But keep reading and start figuring out a new conversation with the kids or they may never know what love's got to do with it.'"
Publishers Weekly
[A] scathing and reasoned attack on the casual-sex culture at American universities . [Freitas] encourages mindfulness and an open dialogue about what students want to get out of sex, and her remedies (which include temporary periods of abstinence and a return to the traditional date) should provide, if not solutions, at least inspiration for parents and college staff in talking to students about how to have better relationships, and better sex.”
The Atlantic
"[An] important, wise, and brave new book...The short book, written in the style of an informative and impassioned pamphlet, is painfully accurate in its assessment of the idiocy that passes for sexuality in the dormitory. Freitas' argument is well-researched and well-grounded, and she is sharp enough to condemn hookup culture on sexual grounds, rather than ethical grounds.... Her indictment couldn't be stronger.... Freitas's work is important because it offers a third way toward sexual independence and autonomy in an America caught between Puritanism and pornography. Rather than morally condemning college students for promiscuity or telling them to treat romance with the detached analysis of the headhunter, she is promising them that better sexmore fun, excitement, and intensityis available."
Wall Street Journal
"Illuminating.... Using extensive survey research and dozens of interviews with young men and women on college campuses across the country, Ms. Freitas explodes the myth of the 'harmless hookup.'... Freitas's book is a timely and alarming wake-up call to students, college administrators and parents, and she presents a compelling argument against the hookup culture.”
About the Author
Donna Freitas writes both fiction and nonfiction, most recently, Consent on Campus: A Manifesto. She has lectured at nearly two hundred colleges and universities about her research on college students. She lives in Brooklyn.
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Product details
- Publisher : Basic Books; 1st edition (April 2, 2013)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 240 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0465002153
- ISBN-13 : 978-0465002153
- Reading age : 13 years and up
- Grade level : 8 and up
- Item Weight : 12.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.25 x 0.88 x 8.75 inches
-
Best Sellers Rank:
#1,156,518 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,498 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books)
- #1,769 in Parenting Teenagers (Books)
- #2,193 in General Sexual Health
- Customer Reviews:
Customer reviews
3.7 out of 5 stars
3.7 out of 5
31 global ratings
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Top reviews from the United States
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Reviewed in the United States on June 4, 2014
Verified Purchase
This is a terrific book for high school and college students - and their parents and school teachers/administrators. Freitas lets students speak for themselves about the emptiness and personal costs of hooking up and about how many students feel pressured to hook up but want a deeper relationship, which seems beyond their grasp. Freitas doesn't present any easy answers...calling instead for emotional maturity and responsible decision-making. Abstinence doesn't work, either - but Freitas leaves the door open for a personal choice of abstinence on a temporary basis or even until marriage. Don't look for moralizing here, or black and white attitudes. Hooking up demeans both sexes, and many in both sexes want more fulfilling relationships. To me, the best part of this book is the support it gives to students who are uneasy with hooking up - and also the clarion call for healthier alternatives to be presented at schools and on campuses. Students who are trying to mature with respect for themselves and for others may need a hand to help them through the pressures of the hook-up generation.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2013
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Well written and documented. I had no idea that college sex had become so mechanical and dry. But building an alternative to the hook up culture means providing something that is at least equal if not better. Without alcohol or drugs. That's going to be tough considering how strong the sex module is in most male brains, plus the traditional draw of drugs and alcohol
I think the solution will have to come from the women. They have to start setting the rules. Don't go to the theme parties. Have the parties at their place under their rules.
I think the solution will have to come from the women. They have to start setting the rules. Don't go to the theme parties. Have the parties at their place under their rules.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2013
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Although as a devout Catholic I disagree with some of Freitas' assumptions & prescriptions, her book is a must read for anyone trying to help young people to get out of the hook-up culture, which is truly horrifying. The book is very useful for getting a sense of what's actually going on, what many kids think about what's going on, and how trapped many feel. Also fascinating was the chapter that spoke of the assignment at BC to "go on a date" and the requirements. Highly recommended for all teachers of high schoolers, parents, etc.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2014
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The book seems to provide what appears to be the present means by which college students relate to each other socially, through hookups & sex through alcohol stimulus, the author ends the book abruptly suggesting that dating is a better choice, including some undefined safe sex practices which she fails in describing.
My experience in this matter was as a college grad 50 years ago. I exclusively dated, enjoyed every moment the experiences. Always made sure to select to take my dates to places that they would enjoy. At the same time we got to know each other through conversation. I never "hookedup". or had sex through alcohol. It's a shame that our present colture, through varous e ntertainment medias have derated dating and glorify such unsef practices. The author should have expanded dating as a the alternative.
My experience in this matter was as a college grad 50 years ago. I exclusively dated, enjoyed every moment the experiences. Always made sure to select to take my dates to places that they would enjoy. At the same time we got to know each other through conversation. I never "hookedup". or had sex through alcohol. It's a shame that our present colture, through varous e ntertainment medias have derated dating and glorify such unsef practices. The author should have expanded dating as a the alternative.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2015
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Perhaps it is because this is a subject I know a fair amount about, having written a book (Binge: Campus Life in an Age of Disconnection and Excess) a decade ago that devoted some space to the twin topics of hooking up and sexual assault on campuses, but I was not surprised by this book's findings. That college students engage in frequent and often indiscriminate sex with peers they often barely know and then find the experience and the process unsatisfying is pretty much the same today as it was then. What is marginally different today, about which Donna Freitas surprisingly does not offer much analysis, is the sense of alarm about the campus sexual assault "crisis" and its link back to the hook-up culture. How institutions are supposed to deal with the significant number of sexual assault cases in which young women find themselves in situations that start out as consensual but somewhere, somehow morph into non-consensual events and what is a fair way to adjudicate them are topics she doesn't really tackle; yet they cry out for solutions. Her ultimate advice--that we as a society work to discourage the hook-up culture and return to a more traditional dating and courtship model--makes a lot of sense, but how we get there from here is no less elusive.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2013
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I find the text essential in answering the concept of liberty, liberation and then more liberty in campuses: where are we heading? A conservative person would find a lot of material to use to argue against the "no-control" and "no-discipline" approaches that are taking place in schools across the western world. A liberal person might be interested in seeing where the road of "just do it" takes to eventually. Many of the one-on-one examples the author uses are very well needed to support her arguments.
My only issue against the book is that I felt the samples are short or shy of one major culture that enforces complete abstinence -- Islam. The Muslim world enforces a 100% rule that sex, or anything related to sex between a man and a woman is "prohibited" before marriage. Did the author consider what the "end of the road" is like in such cultures when it comes to the social fabric? It would have been complementary to consider Islam which is at the other end of the spectrum used in the text.
My only issue against the book is that I felt the samples are short or shy of one major culture that enforces complete abstinence -- Islam. The Muslim world enforces a 100% rule that sex, or anything related to sex between a man and a woman is "prohibited" before marriage. Did the author consider what the "end of the road" is like in such cultures when it comes to the social fabric? It would have been complementary to consider Islam which is at the other end of the spectrum used in the text.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2013
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Dr. Donna Freitas documents in this book her research over many years about the sexual behavior of college students.
Soulless, primitive, unfulfilling hookup sex seems to be the norm. What she describes sounds like hell. The social pressure to enter this sexual hell seems to overwhelm almost everyone.
I do not care about Freita's religious believes and do not share them. What I highly appreciate is her fact-oriented description of the college student's sexual behavior, based on hundreds (1,500?) of interviews. I know from the testimony of close relatives, girls at college, that the author's description of the "cultural" college atmosphere and sexual mechanics - drunk males using intoxicated females as instruments for masturbation - are accurate.
Soulless, primitive, unfulfilling hookup sex seems to be the norm. What she describes sounds like hell. The social pressure to enter this sexual hell seems to overwhelm almost everyone.
I do not care about Freita's religious believes and do not share them. What I highly appreciate is her fact-oriented description of the college student's sexual behavior, based on hundreds (1,500?) of interviews. I know from the testimony of close relatives, girls at college, that the author's description of the "cultural" college atmosphere and sexual mechanics - drunk males using intoxicated females as instruments for masturbation - are accurate.
5 people found this helpful
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