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Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents Hardcover – Bargain Price, January 5, 2010
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-Laura Vanderkam, The Huffington Post
"Kids become whole people when they're raised by whole people-the Vachons show us how."
-Gloria Steinem --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
Disclaimer - I am the Michelle of "Michelle and Jim" in Chapter 2. However, that's as far as my interest goes in writing a rave review. Well, that and the fact that Amy and Marc are exceptionally warm and generous people - though I've never met them in person. I am very proud to be a part of this book and I certainly wouldn't be writing this review for all to see if I wasn't thrilled with the outcome. Amy and Marc have done an excellent job, in my opinion, of representing the Equally Shared Parenting lifestyle, in all of it's goodness and imperfection.
I would never try to convince a couple to choose ESP if they didn't both have the desire to equally share time with kids, family financial contribution, personal time and house care. It simply doesn't work that way - through coersion and persuasion. But if you and your partner have any remote desire to explore the Equally Shared Parenting lifestyle I whole-heartedly, with great passion, encourage you to go for it. It is SO possible! And the best start to that venture is getting this book. You will surely find stories, ideas and models here that you can apply to your own life. Seriously - just get the book and see.
The book is a practical guide to how real families have found a way to find equality and balance by first arriving at the conclusions that both parents are "fully capable in all family roles" and "both parents deserve to be full partners, and to have a full partner." ESP is not about score keeping or getting your partner to do more work, but instead consciously recognizing that you want balance and equality in your life and you want balance and equality for your partner. The authors use real couples, including themselves, to illuminate the ESP lifestyle, identify some common mistakes, and suggest some rules to follow if you decide to pursue this model.
Obviously, this would be a hard pill for some couples to swallow. Can Dad really give up control of what goes in Junior's lunch box every day? Can Mom cut back on hours at work to spend more time taking the kids to soccer practice? Yes, this means that career paths might get altered. Yes, this means that partners would need to do things they wouldn't normally do. And yes, this means that tasks might be completed in a different way than usual.Read more ›
Marc & Amy have clearly worked very hard on this, both prior to their meeting and in building their family. Their modeling of this and sharing of it in a personal way is a great gift to all of us.
If you're like myself and struggling to sort these issues out, I highly recommend this book. I grew up in a patriarchal home and found it incredibly stressful and difficult. That alone was enough motivation for me to seek change and to avoid patriarchal marriage myself, but really seeing how such change can work is nonetheless even more motivating. And Amy and Marc remind that you don't have to wait for government action or approval from your peer group or even your own parents. You can make this happen here and now; it just takes two willing, ready and able partners.
In the face of a culture & political economy & religious environment that seeks constantly to put men and women in conflict with each other and to insert a lot of unnecessary melodrama and insecurity in our lives, Marc's and Amy's calmness, candor, and resilence really warms my heart and gives me the sense that there are sane and responsible men and women in the world and hope for our future.
Great job and keep up the good work! I'd love to read a sequel when you're parents of teenagers. :)
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is a great book for parents who want more balance in their lives - both between the parents and between work and family life for each. Read morePublished on February 6, 2011 by habanero
This book starts up well and it provides some good advice but it seems that it never gets anywhere. It frequently states "we will discuss this later... Read morePublished on February 6, 2011 by A. Rooney
Easy and enjoyable to read, Amy and Marc have shared their innovative, creative and practical program for Equally Shared Parenting (ESP) for society's benefit. Read morePublished on November 30, 2010 by Rosanne in Madison
The title of this book would imply that only parents, or would-be-parents, need apply. While this is certainly an appropriate audience, it unfortunately excludes the so many... Read morePublished on January 24, 2010 by Kristen