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Erotic Integrity: How to be True to Yourself Sexually Paperback – May 10, 2016
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A debut self-help book that aims to help individuals and couples work through their sexual fears.
The cornerstone of French sexologist Six's therapy, "Erotic Integrity," incorporates three principles: self-examination, self-acceptance, and self-actualization. She corrects important misconceptions regarding the differences between intimacy and sex, desire and arousal, and fidelity and nonmonogamy. She points out that couples will often misguidedly enter into open marriages or secret affairs to "spice up" the marital relationships or to find intimacy on the side. However, she says, these are both losing prospects when people embrace self-deception instead of informed choices. Erotic Integrity, she says, requires honesty, not exoticism, and the key component of honesty is communication. The book includes 10 chapters on a wide range of subjects, including lies and secrets, sexual boredom, sexual violation, dating, performance anxiety, gender nonconformity, and sexual addiction, followed by relevant, probing questions that underpin the author's insights. Through case studies, Six details real-world couples coping with complex issues of misunderstandings and miscommunications. She says that low desire, a common problem in women, especially during menopause, has a psychological component and can be treated as long as a person wants to change. She stresses that the purpose of her work is not to "fix" people but to help them discover who they are and what they truly want. This book will calm the secret fears of even casual readers, as Six speaks with authority, compassion, and humor: "The term 'sex addiction' has been popularized, overused, and misapplied to anyone engaging in sexual behavior that someone else disapproves of." She's also critical of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and clearly explains how and why she thinks it's inaccurate in certain cases. Overall, she's emphatic that no obstacle is insurmountable, that no honestly confessed desire is shameful, and that no one need follow anyone else's choices. Sexuality, she emphasizes, takes place in the heart and in the head--as well as elsewhere.
A bold, refreshing call to discover and own one's sexuality.
*Bronze IPPY award in the national Sexuality/Relationships category! Each year since 1996, the Independent Publisher Book Awards competition has identified a reading list of progressive, thought-provoking books, the kind that can touch lives, advance careers, and stretch our imaginations. With the tag line, "Recognizing Excellence in Independent Publishing," the IPPY Awards showcase the best books from throughout North America and the English-speaking world.
*Finalist in the RELATIONSHIPS category of the 2016 Next Generation Indie Book Awards.
*Finalist in the Self-Help: Relationships category at the 2016 International Book Awards.
*Finalist in the SEXUALITY category of the National Indie Excellence Awards
Readers' Favorite gave it a 5 star review, Non-Fiction - Relationships
2016 USA Best Book Awards: Self-Help: Relationships Finalist
2016 San Francisco Book Awards: Honorable Mention in General Non-Fiction
2016 IPPY Award: Bronze in the national Sexuality/Relationships category
2016 Next Generation Indie Book Awards: Finalist in the Relationships category
2016 National Indie Excellence Awards: Finalist in the Sexuality category
"Erotic Integrity is a fascinating journey into the depths of male and female sexuality. Along the way, Claudia Six provides a deeper understanding of our sexual needs that can inspire and insure lasting love and passion. Read it and enjoy."
―John Gray, PhD, best-selling author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
"This book will calm the secret fears of even casual readers, as Six speaks with authority, compassion, and humor . . . A bold, refreshing call to discover and own one’s sexuality.."
"Clinical Sexologist Dr. Claudia Six presents a fascinating journey through the support and solutions that can make it possible for us to grow into a life of easy and loving fulfillment of desire. The goal is in the title: Erotic Integrity."
―Dossie Easton, Marriage & Family Therapist and co-author of The Ethical Slut
“Dr. Claudia Six's new book Erotic Integrity is a helpful guide to anyone, female, male, or otherwise, coming to terms with the honest sexual self which remains to be discovered in each of us. Clearly, gently, and nonjudgmentally she covers the topics that all of us sex therapists see every day―insecurity, performance issues, meeting partners, mating successfully, and doing each and any of them while remaining true to one self, with what she terms Erotic Integrity.”
―Isadora Alman, MFT, CST, author of Doing It and Sex and Sociability on Psychology Today Online
"Take a journey through the complex terrain of eroticism with Dr. Six. You won't be sorry. Her engaging style allows you to explore often-scary impulses with a positive attitude. Claudia is a masterful guide who challenges all of us to be in integrity with ourselves. Sexual growth has never been so comfortable and engaging!"
―Ellyn Bader, PhD, psychotherapist, co-author of In Quest of the Mythical Mate and Tell me No Lies, and Founder/Director The Couples Institute
"We live in a time when traditional ideas about marriage, relationship, sexual identity, and gender identity are all rapidly evolving. Dr. Claudia Six’s book is a timely and valuable aid to rediscovering, reawakening, and celebrating the power and beauty of our authentic sexual self."
―Chas August, Love, Relationship & Intimacy Coach and Workshop Leader
"Take this book to bed with you, curl up with your main squeeze and a glass of wine, and you will be surprised by what you didnt know about erotic integrity.”
―Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly
"Through her candor, unconditional acceptance, and clinical guidance, Dr. Six allows her readers to safely explore the many facets of their sexuality and empowers self-acceptance. She then encourages her readers to practice 'erotic intergrity' through open communication, honesty, and mutual respect for their partners. As a clinician working with patients suffering from pelvic floor disorders, I know that shame and embarrassment often become an obstacle to seeking help and committing to their recovery. This book will be an excellent resource.”
―Lisa S. Lacovelli, PT Clinical Specialist, Physical Medicine Center of Marin
About the Author
Claudia Six has an MA in counseling psychology and a PhD in clinical sexology, and over twenty years of experience as a clinical sexologist and relationship coach in private practice near San Francisco. She has helped thousands of individuals and couples with relationship and sexual challenges, and coined the term Erotic Integrity® to describe her approach to her work with clients. She has written numerous articles and hosted her own Erotic Integrity radio show. She is married and has a perfect dog, and lives in Northern California.
Top customer reviews
Even as someone who has participated, studied and reflected a lot on the topic I had more than one "aha!" moment regarding relational aspects that touch into sexuality on many levels. Dr. Six has done anyone who cares to read her work a wonderful service- I believe this is one of those books that has something for everyone for whom sexuality and sexual relationships are an important expression in life.
I recommend this book to everyone whether in a relationship or not.