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Escape Hardcover – October 16, 2007
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The dramatic first-person account of life inside an ultra-fundamentalist American religious sect, and one woman’s courageous flight to freedom with her eight children.
When she was eighteen years old, Carolyn Jessop was coerced into an arranged marriage with a total stranger: a man thirty-two years her senior. Merril Jessop already had three wives. But arranged plural marriages were an integral part of Carolyn’s heritage: She was born into and raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), the radical offshoot of the Mormon Church that had settled in small communities along the Arizona-Utah border. Over the next fifteen years, Carolyn had eight children and withstood her husband’s psychological abuse and the watchful eyes of his other wives who were locked in a constant battle for supremacy.
Carolyn’s every move was dictated by her husband’s whims. He decided where she lived and how her children would be treated. He controlled the money she earned as a school teacher. He chose when they had sex; Carolyn could only refuse—at her peril. For in the FLDS, a wife’s compliance with her husband determined how much status both she and her children held in the family. Carolyn was miserable for years and wanted out, but she knew that if she tried to leave and got caught, her children would be taken away from her. No woman in the country had ever escaped from the FLDS and managed to get her children out, too. But in 2003, Carolyn chose freedom over fear and fled her home with her eight children. She had $20 to her name.
Escape exposes a world tantamount to a prison camp, created by religious fanatics who, in the name of God, deprive their followers the right to make choices, force women to be totally subservient to men, and brainwash children in church-run schools. Against this background, Carolyn Jessop’s flight takes on an extraordinary, inspiring power. Not only did she manage a daring escape from a brutal environment, she became the first woman ever granted full custody of her children in a contested suit involving the FLDS. And in 2006, her reports to the Utah attorney general on church abuses formed a crucial part of the case that led to the arrest of their notorious leader, Warren Jeffs.
- Print length413 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBroadway
- Publication dateOctober 16, 2007
- Dimensions6.35 x 1.3 x 9.55 inches
- ISBN-100767927567
- ISBN-13978-0767927567
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Review
—Jon Krakauer, Author of Under the Banner of Heaven, Into Thin Air, and Into the Wild
About the Author
CAROLYN JESSOP was born into the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a group splintered from and renounced by the Mormon Church, and spent most of her life in Colorado City, Arizona, the main base of the FLDS. Since leaving the group in 2003, she has lived in West Jordon, Utah, with her eight children. LAURA PALMER is the author of Shrapnel in the Heart and collaborated on five other books, the most recent being To Catch a Predator with NBC's Chris Hansen. She lives in New York City.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
I was born in the bitter cold but into warm and loving hands. Aunt Lydia Jessop was the midwife who brought me into the world on January 1, 1968, just two hours after midnight.
Aunt Lydia could not believe I’d survived. She was the midwife who had delivered babies for two generations, including my mother. When she saw the placenta, she realized that my mother had chronic placental abruption. Mom had hemorrhaged throughout her pregnancy and thought she was miscarrying. But when the bleeding stopped, she shrugged it off, assuming she was still pregnant. Aunt Lydia, the midwife, said that by the time I was born, the placenta was almost completely detached from the uterus. My mother could have bled to death and I could have been born prematurely or, worse, stillborn.
But I came into the world as a feisty seven-pound baby, my mother’s second daughter. My father said she could name me Carolyn or Annette. She looked up both names and decided to call me Carolyn because it meant “wisdom.” My mother always said that even as a baby, I looked extremely wise to her.
I was born into six generations of polygamy on my mother’s side and started life in Hildale, Utah, in a fundamentalist Mormon community known as the FLDS, or the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Polygamy was the issue that defined us and the reason we’d split from the mainstream Mormon Church.
My childhood memories really begin in Salt Lake City. We moved there when I was about five. Even though my parents believed in polygamy, my father had only one wife. He owned a small real estate business that was doing well and decided it made sense to use Salt Lake as a base. We had a lovely house with a porch swing and a landscaped yard and trees. This was a big change from the tiny house in Colorado City with dirt and weeds in the yard and a father who was rarely home.
But the biggest difference in moving to Salt Lake City was that my mother, Nurylon, was happy. She loved the city and delighted in having my father home every night after work. My dad was doing well, and Mom had enough money to buy plenty of groceries when we went to the store and even had some extra for toys.
There were soon four of us. I had two sisters, Linda and Annette. I was in the middle–Linda was eighteen months older than I and Annette two years younger. My baby brother Arthur arrived a few years after Annette. My mother was thrilled to finally have a son because in our culture, boys have more value than girls. Linda and my mother were very close. But my mother always seemed very irritated by me, in part, I think, because I was my father’s favorite.
I adored my dad, Arthur Blackmore. He was tall and thin, with large bones and dark, wavy hair. I remember that whenever we were around other families I thought I had the best-looking father in the entire world. I saw him as my personal protector and felt safe when I was in his presence. His face lit up when I entered the room; I was always the daughter he wanted to introduce when friends visited our house. My mother complained that he didn’t discipline me as much as he did my sister Linda, but he ignored her and didn’t seem to care.
We only lived in Salt Lake City for a year, but it was a happy one. Mother took us to the zoo and to the park, where we’d play on the swings and slides. My father’s business was successful and expanding. But he decided we needed to move back to Colorado City, Arizona—a tiny, nondescript FLDS enclave about 350 miles south of Salt Lake City and a stone’s throw from Hildale, Utah, where I was born. The reason we went back was that he didn’t want my sister Linda attending a regular public school. Even though she would technically be going to a public school in Colorado City, most of the teachers there were FLDS and very conservative. In theory, at least, religion is not to be taught in public schools, but in fact it was an integral part of the curriculum there.
When we returned to Colorado City, my father put an addition onto our house. There was more space to live in, but life became more claustrophobic. Mother changed. When we got up in the morning, she would still be sleeping. My father was on the road a lot now, so she was home alone. When we tried to wake her up, she’d tell us to go back to bed.
She’d finally surface midmorning and come into the kitchen to make us breakfast and talk about how much she wanted to die. While she made us hot cornmeal cereal, toast, or pancakes she’d complain about having nothing to live for and how she’d rather be dead. Those were the good mornings. The really awful mornings were the ones when she’d talk about how she was going to kill herself that day.
I remember how terrified I felt wondering what would happen to us if my mother killed herself. Who’d take care of us? Father was gone nearly all the time. One morning I asked my mother, “Mama, if a mother dies, what will happen to her children? Who will take care of them?”
I don’t think Mother noticed my urgency. She had no idea of the impact her words had been having on me. I think she felt my question arose from a general curiosity about dying. Mother was very matter–of–fact in responding to me: “Oh, the children will be all right. The priesthood will give their father a new wife. The new wife will take care of them.”
By this time I was about six. I looked at her and said, “Mama, I think that Dad better hurry up and get a new wife.”
I was beginning to notice other things about the world around me. One was that some of the women we’d see in the community when we went shopping were wearing dark sunglasses. I was surprised when a woman took her glasses off in the grocery store and I could see that both her eyes were blackened. I asked my mother what was wrong, but the question seemed to make her uncomfortable and she didn’t answer me. My curiosity was piqued, however, and every time I saw a woman in dark glasses, I stared at her to see if they were covering strange, mottled bruises.
What I did love about my mother was her beauty. In my eyes, she was gorgeous. She dressed with pride and care. Like my father, she was tall and thin. The clothes she made for herself and my sisters and me were exquisite. She always picked the best fabrics. She knew how to make pleats and frills. I remember beaming when someone would praise my mother for her well–mannered and well–dressed children. Everyone in the community thought she was an exceptional mother.
But that was the public façade. In private, my mother was depressed and volatile. She beat us almost every day. The range was anything from several small swats on the behind to a lengthy whipping with a belt. Once the beating was so bad I had bruises all over my back and my legs for more than a week. When she hit us, she accused us of always doing things to try to make her miserable.
I feared her, but my fear made me a student of her behavior. I watched her closely and realized that even though she slapped us throughout the day, she never spanked us more than once a day. The morning swats were never that intense or prolonged. The real danger came in late afternoon, when she was in the depths of her sorrow.
I concluded that if I got my spanking early in the morning and got it out of the way, I would basically have a free pass for the rest of the day. As soon as Mama got up, I knew I had a spanking coming. Linda and Annette quickly caught on to what I was doing, and they tried to get their spankings out of the way in the morning, too.
There were several times when my mother spanked me and then screamed and screamed at me. “I’m going to give you a beating you’ll never forget! I am not going to stop beating you until you shut up and stop crying! You make me so mad! How could you be so stupid!” Even though it’s been decades, her screams still echo inside me when I think about her.
I remember overhearing my mother say to a relative, “I just don’t understand what has gotten into my three daughters. As soon as I am out of bed every morning, they are so bad that no matter how much I warn them, they will just not be quiet until I give them all a spanking. After they have all gotten a spanking, then everything calms down and we can all get on with our day.”
When my mother beat me, she would always say she was doing it because she loved me. So I used to wish that she didn’t love me. I was afraid of her, but I would also get angry at her when she hit me. After she beat me she insisted on giving me a hug. I hated that. The hug didn’t make the spanking stop hurting. It didn’t fix anything.
I never told my father about the beatings because it was such an accepted part of our culture. What my mother was doing would be considered “good discipline.” My mother saw herself as raising righteous children and felt teaching us obedience was one of her most important responsibilities. Spanking your children was widely seen as the way to reach that goal. It wasn’t considered abuse; it was considered good parenting.
Some of the happiest times for me would be when we would have quilting parties at home. The women from the community would spend the day at our house, quilting around a big frame. Stories and gossip were shared, there was a lot of food, and the children all had a chance to play together. Quilting parties were the one time we had breathing room.
Once I was playing with dolls with my cousin under the quilt when I heard my aunt Elaine say, “I was so scared the other day. Ray Dee was playing out in the yard with her brothers and sisters. Some people from out of town stopped in front of our house. All of the other children ran into the house screaming, but Ray Dee stayed outside and talked to the out–of–towners.”
Aunt...
Product details
- Publisher : Broadway (October 16, 2007)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 413 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0767927567
- ISBN-13 : 978-0767927567
- Item Weight : 1.65 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.35 x 1.3 x 9.55 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #973,693 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4,918 in Religious Leader Biographies
- #10,287 in Women's Biographies
- #28,267 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Carolyn Jessop was born in 1968 and raised in the largest community of the Fundamentalist Church of the Latter Day Saints in the US. She spent 17 years in a polygamous marriage to one of the most powerful men in the FLDS community, before escaping. She lives in Utah with her children.
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In 2003, when Carolyn was 33, she and her eight children escaped from her husband and the Polygamous FLDS sect, in the middle of the night. She had $20 to her name. Carolyn is the only woman to have escaped Polygamy, bringing all her children.
The FLDS is the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The FLDS is the radical sect that split off from the Mormon (LDS) church and is not to be confused with the mainstream Mormon church.
Written with Laura Palmer, Escape is a best-selling book and a venture into a world of which many have never heard - this is an inside look at the horrors of the polygamous world of the FLDS.
The FLDS was started after the mainstream LDS church no longer allowed polygamy in the late 19th century. Polygamy is the issue that divides the FLDS from the LDS.
The FLDS sect in the twin city area of Hilldale, Utah/Colorado City, Arizona - is the sect into which Carolyn Jessop married.
Carolyn grew up in polygamy, from 6 generations of polygamy on her mother's side.
Many who grew up in Utah, such as myself, have such polygamy far back in our ancestry. In fact, virtually all of the original Utah Pioneer settlers had to have more than one wife. All my great and great-great grandfathers had at least two wives and one of my great-grandfathers had 6 wives and 54 children from the five surviving wives.
But that was in the mid-19th century. Progress has marched on for many of us, but it was not so for Carolyn and those still in the FLDS today.
During her childhood in the 1970s. Carolyn grew up with her parents, her father's other wives, and her siblings in Salt Lake, away from the FLDS community. Her mother was happy and her parents briefly had a Christmas tree and a coffeemaker in the house, both of which are taboo in the religion.
Once Carolyn's parents moved to the Colorado City FLDS compound, her mother grew desperately unhappy.
Colorado City was run by the then-Prophet Leroy Johnson (Uncle Roy). The Prophet was the leader of the FLDS and his word was the word of God. What the Prophet said was a matter of law. The Prophet was believed to speak directly with God.
In her acknowledgements to the book, Carolyn describes the FLDS:
"The FLDS is constructed on a scaffolding of lies. We were all brainwashed into believing that everyone in the outside world was evil."
Referring to her life now after her escape, Carolyn continues:
"Every Christmas, when I see the delight in my children as they unwrap presents from people they never met, I realize what a monstrous lie we were taught to believe."
In her book, Carolyn describes her escape.
"Escape. The moment had come. I had been watching and waiting for months. The time was right. I had to act fast and without fear. I could not afford to fail. Nine lives wee at stake: those of my eight children and my own."
..."At eighteen, I was coerced into an arranged marriage with Merril Jessop, a fifty-year-old man I barely knew. I became his fourth wife and had eight children in fifteen years..."
"The first thing I did when I realized I might be able to escape was to go to my sister Linda's house to use the telephone. I couldn't call from my home because the phones were monitored. My husband's six other wives were suspicious. I had a reputation for being somewhat independent and thinking for myself, so the other wives kept tabs on me."
..."When I was growing up in the FLDS, our lives had not been as extreme as they were becoming under Warren Jeffs. The children attended public schools. But that ended when Jeffs took over. He felt that teachers I the public schools had been educated by `gentiles' [non-FLDS] and were `contaminated.' "
So Carolyn's children attended the private FLDS schools. Warren Jeffs believed he was Christ incarnate, and spoke of moving the FLDS members to a walled-off area within the compound from which there would be no escape.
Jeffs believed the FLDS were the `chosen seed of God' and that it was his duty to protect them from everything unclean, such as the `outside' world. Jeffs ordered all secular [non-FLDS] books to be destroyed.
Carolyn had been a public school teacher before Jeffs took over. She had had more than 300 children's books, which were destroyed under Jeffs' rule.
One night in 2003, Carolyn returned home but could not find her oldest daughter, Betty, who was then 14. Warren Jeffs was known to marry off girls to older men - girls as young as 14. Jeffs himself had dozens of wives - at least 70.
[Since the writing of the book, Warren Jeffs was arrested, tried, and convicted of two felony counts of arranging under-age marriages of girls to older men. News updated November 10th include release of documents that Jeffs tried to hang himself in his jail cell in September while awaiting trial, and also confessing to `immorality' with a `sister' and a `daughter.' His nephew, Brent Jeffs, is suing Jeffs for sodomy when Brent was an underage student in one of the schools and Warren was the principal. Jeffs is awaiting sentencing for the two felony convictions. He could face life imprisonment.]
When Carolyn returned home one night to find 14-year-old Betty at a sleepover at Jeffs' house with other 14-year old girls, Carolyn knew she had to act fast: her worry was that Betty would soon be married off to an older man.
..."One by one, I put my children in the van and told them to buckle their set belts. I was frantic. I was also out of time. Harrison [severely disabled since birth] was the only one left...I strapped him into his car seat, turned on the ignition, and counted to see if my children were all there. Betty was missing."
Carolyn found 14-year old Betty in her room but Betty resisted Carolyn taking her into the car. After a brief skirmish, Betty acquiesced and Carolyn left southern Utah in her van with her eight children, bound for Salt Lake City.
On the escape drive, Betty saw that her mother had lied as to where they were going.
"You are stealing us! Mother, you are stealing us! Uncle Warren will come and get us."
"Betty, I can't steal my own children."
"We don't belong to you! We belong to the prophet! You have no right to us."
Five hours later, Carolyn and her children were in hiding in Salt Lake City, and her husband began to hunt them down like prey.
Carolyn describes what it was like to move to the FLDS community in Hilldale in the late 1980s, and to learn that the sunglasses the FLDS wives often wore usually covered black eyes.
Power was in the hands of the husband, and the wives and children's fate and rank within the family was determined by how obedient and subservient they were to him.
The prophet Leroy Johnson had announced that he had a revelation that Carolyn should marry Merril Jessop - Carolyn had been planning on going to college to become a doctor, but her father knew that once the prophet spoke that he must act quickly and marry Carolyn to Jessop.
There were no questions asked: Carolyn's family did what they were forced to do. Carolyn later learned she had been a pawn in a business deal between her father and Jessop.
When Carolyn married Jessop - who was very high up within the FLDS priesthood - she, at 18, had never had a previous relationship with a man, had never dated (dating was forbidden) and she did not love Merril - she did not even like this man whom many others called cruel.
On their wedding night, Carolyn was bound to wifely duty, as a possession of her husband. She cringed when he touched her, and she was relieved when he was not able to consummate their wedding night. She later learned to use sex as a safety weapon in the relationships with the other wives and children. Sex was the one power the younger wives had over a more powerful wife.
Carolyn became Jessop's fourth wife - of the previous wives, only Barbara was still having sex with Merril, and Barbara was the wife to whom all other wives, children and Merril answered. Barbara made Carolyn's life miserable. Carolyn was watched wherever she went.
Jessop was later to add two more wives to his plural marriage.
Abuse against wives and against children was not only permissible, but a way of life.
"It was preached at church that if you didn't put the fear of God into children from the time of their birth, they would grow up and leave the work of God. Abuse was necessary to save a child's soul."
Encouragement was few and far between. One of the wives later approached Merril, and spoke up against him on behalf of Carolyn:
"Merril, it's wrong for you to use your daughters against your wives and encourage them to be hurtful and mean to us and your other children."
At one point, Carolyn realizes she missed an important step in the teachings and blessings of the FLDS religion: She had never received a Patriarchal blessing. The Patriarch is third in line from the top - the prophet, Council of 12 Apostles and the Patriarch - (third in line - similar to an Archbishop's rank in the Roman Catholic church).
The importance of a Patriarchal blessing is that the Patriarch tells why you were put on this earth. When Carolyn did finally receive that blessing, she learned that she was born with the gift of discernment - that she could look at someone and know if they were good or evil.
It was that gift of discernment, among her many other gifts and strengths, that gave Carolyn the strength to escape, and to finally find happiness and peace.
Carolyn tells her gripping story in a matter-of-fact way that does not undersell the horror of the facts themselves - nor does it do short shrift to the beauty and the power of humanity that finally surfaces in her heroic tale.
A must read. You REALLY do not want to miss this one.
Carolyn Jessop, gives the reader a glimpse into the Fundamentalist Ladder Day Saints (FDLS) and polygamy. Most importantly on how it was to live both outside and inside a community that was religious based. We follow the author through childhood, adolescents, and young adulthood. We walk through her life of being married to not only to one man but several wives. We see how she lives in detail. From her bedroom to the very house she lives. In our mind we begin to understand the structure and the psychological implications and consequences of living in such a lifestyle. For some it is comfortable living, where a woman doesn't have to take care the children alone, cook all the time, and surely not worry about how she will be financially supported. But there is another side that Carolyn presents of being abused, manipulated, and completely overwhelmed if one did not have the right frame of mind in this kind of relationship.
The reader gets a good idea what happens in a home that is divided against oneself. Carolyn clearly shows that the wives could be the strength or the barrier to a marriage and family. With one man if he is not who totally secure & stable, to be used, misused, and abused in the process. Plus if he is not a good man as Carolyn presents, then this could make for bigger problems such as neglect, psychological harm, and/or even death. I really enjoyed the little tibits and her knowledge of the FDLS and polygamy. There is not a question in my mind that she didn't lived this life. You see many areas of conflict within herself, her children, the wives, and those around her.
I would have like to read more not only her own struggles, but her own contribution towards some of the problems. Not to say she is responsible for being abused or married to someone she didn't know. But how did she feel she could make life easier or better for her if any? Did she try to connect and make a happy home? I don't mean cooking, cleaning, and saying hello. I mean real contribution. I often wondered why she never spoke to Barbara face-to-face? Woman-to-woman? Carolyn is clearly not weakminded and not entirely fearful; and at times quite expressive and independent. So why not? What could she loose? I wondered what made Merril allow her to go to school for her degree? What made Merril continue to sleep with her? And why didn't she have more power since in the book she states that a woman's currency and power was sex? I understand she continued to have sex to be left alone. But why not use the very thing to work on her husband and first wife?
Sometimes in the book, which I believe it could be due to editing Carolyn's writing was a bit off- especially staying in the hear & now and shadowing to the past. Sometimes I felt it got mixed up. For example, she was speaking about applying for benefits for her children and how she was unable to do so because Merril had not claimed her last son as his. But had for the other children. Then suddenly, we are reading about this elusive plan of her sneaking in the house after 2am to get the forms. I wasn't sure if this happened before she escaped or after. As I said could have been a editor mistake.
I was also curious about Barbara's story. It was obvious that Carolyn never had any sort of relationship or connection with her. She stayed away from her and maybe rightfully so, but it would have been nice to understand Barbara more. We get such a clear picture about everyone else but not Barbara. She was explained as this ruthless woman, who was spoiled, domineering and who had all this power to command and control the kingdom. Also that she wanted Merril all to herself, and pretty much did not have a say in her husband's choice of a wife, but what was the real story behind Barbara. Since Carolyn has so much information about everyone else- why not her?
Some point in the book I started to become annoyed. She repeated herself a lot. Or she would be speaking about something and suddenly veer off and start talking about something else over series of pages. She would finally get on track but I really didn't enjoy this. I kept thinking, "Stay focus, stay on track, and let's keep it moving."
But I would not allow these little things I raise to say the book wasn't good. It was very good- riveting, but had a few clitches that could be revised. I recommend this book for those curious about polygamy and the FDLS. All and all a decent read. 4 stars for a good book with some editing problems.
Top reviews from other countries
It took a lion-hearted person like Carolyn Jessop to escape. She was the first woman to do so with all her (8) children and win custody of them. Things became steadily worse as leader Warren Jeffs issued ever more bizarre requirements. Teenage boys were summarily exiled. Younger and younger girls married off. Wives and children arbitrarily assigned to other men. Fathers excommunicated if they didn’t toe the line. After being on the FBI’s 10 most wanted list, Jeffs is now in jail. He was accused by a young male relative of years of sodomy but went to prison for other crimes.
Carolyn was 18 when she was married off to Merril Jessop, 32 years her senior. She was the fourth wife and had stepdaughters older than herself. She came from a long line of polygamous Mormons and had no other reference point. She tries to get us to see how brainwashed they all were. After meeting Carolyn, the Utah Attorney General remarked that he’d got himself a state with a section that was worse than living under the Taliban. It’s to her credit that despite many challenges, Carolyn got herself and kids out. Praise and thanks must go to the good people who helped her too. In a state where many cops are in the sect, it was no easy task. Rather sad that after finishing high school in Salt Lake City, her daughter Betty decided to re-join, but then, she had always been a favourite with her father, whereas he could easily ignore many of his other kids. This book would make a fascinating if gruelling movie.
スムーズに読み進められるかと思います。
著者が生まれ育ち、半生を送った一夫多妻制の閉鎖的なカルト、
FLDSの生活がありのままに描かれています。
普段の生活、彼らにとっての日常が
読者に分かりやすいように語られています。
読み終わった後、
女性として生き抜く強さに気付かせてくれる作品だと思います。












