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Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the ``Love'' Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships Paperback – September 20, 1990
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From Publishers Weekly
Sexual addiction, in Schaef's diagnosis, comes in many guises: an obsession with erotic activities, lust, child molesting, incest or an "anorexic" distaste for matters sexual. Besides sex addicts, Schaef ( Women's Reality ) here profiles two other types of addicts: "romance junkies," who seek escape from true intimacy through pseudo-relationships, and "relationship addicts"preoccupied with a particular person or with the need to have a relationship, real or fantasied. A former psychotherapist, Schaef insists that addictive ties are reinforced by underlying sick tendencies in our frantic, competitive culture. Romance addicts, for example, mesh with society's illusionary focus, which reinforces their avoidance of life's hard realities. The author outlines a 12-step program for recovery from self-destructive personal addictions. Her levelheaded yet powerful analysis holds up a startling mirror in which many readers will see themselves. Author tour.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
"[Shaef's] levelheaded yet powerful analysis holds up a startling mirror in which many readers will see themselves." -- "Jordan Paul, PH.D., author of Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?""A valuable contribution to our understanding of these complex addictions." -- "Jennifer Schneider, author of Back from Betrayal"
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brutally by her children and had to learn to establish boundaries with them. She learned so much from this relationship and came out the other side able to counsel other senior women in their romantic partnerships. I wanted her to have this
book as a reference for romantic addiction for which there is a fine line. Due to the chemicals involved, it can be a tough addiction to recognize as well as a challenge to shift. Most romantic addicts call their feelings for the other person "love"... and "I am IN LOVE"...that's the first clue. This book is terrific and could be a reference for all relationship counselors or for people who believe that they are "in love".
My addiction is codependence. Ms. Schaef writes again, concisely about this addiction. My need "to fix" or "give solve another's problem" is a daily challenge for me. Thankfully I am more aware and recognize my "need to fix" and then I have learned to mind my own business. The other day, a little squirrel was limping around with a leg injury. Before I knew it, I was planning on going and getting it some food instead of recognizing that it was "God's" business not mine. I like Byron Katie's 3 kinds of business...God's, mine, and yours. I have gained so much freedom staying in my own business. I have an old copy of this book and use it as a reference for my own life. Thank you Anne.
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Also for her discussion of four behaviors that interfere with intimacy.Read more