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Escaping the Boy: My Life With a Sociopath by [Carrasquillo, Paula]
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Escaping the Boy: My Life With a Sociopath Kindle Edition

3.5 out of 5 stars 32 customer reviews

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Kindle, May 8, 2012
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Length: 72 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Product Details

  • File Size: 164 KB
  • Print Length: 72 pages
  • Publisher: Publications by Paula's Pontifications; 2nd edition (May 8, 2012)
  • Publication Date: May 8, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0081UABM8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #416,859 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Having read (or at least started to read) several books on the subject of narcissism, borderline personality disorder, etc, I felt that something major was missing. In most books, the author will characterize both the abuser (because oftentimes these books are about people with BPD or NPD and so forth who abuse and mistreat their partners and not those who actively work at changing but I digress) and the survivor in incredibly cliche and stereotypical ways. The abuser gives a honeymoon period followed by a big list of DSM-identified behaviors that aren't good and the victim stays for predictable reasons. There is little variation or validation for those who are in more unusual situations than those.

I purchased this book thinking it might be different. It was advertised as a first-hand account of a survivor who dated a very abusive man. While I sympathize with the author's experiences, the writing style really put me off. The protagonist made no real effort during the book to figure out why "the Boy" behaved the way he did or to find answers to her troubles. She does not really analyze why she was with this man or what compelled her to stay beyond "he gave me the honeymoon period and then things went bad" ie: the generic party line of "why co-dependents stay." There was no indication that the woman in the story had previously exhibited characteristics of a co-dependent. Her ex-husband was described as a fairly healthy, stable man, and she seemed to be on good terms with her family. It was only this one man, the Boy, who had ever manipulated her in the way that a narcissist or a sociopath would. From there, it's hard for me to conclude that co-dependence or learned helplessness kept her in that relationship. I would be fine with that if another reason were provided.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
In her book "Escaping the Boy: My Life with a Sociopath" Paula Carrasquillo dives into a biographical approach to understanding life as lived with a narcissistic sociopath. Through careful reflection on her own experiences, Paula illustrates the formation of the "boy," his psychopathology, that pathology's influence on his relationships, and ultimately how that pathology affects those other parties involved in those relationships. According to the Preface, the aim of the book is building awareness. Paula does that well throughout the book.

Her writing style is easy to follow (as is her fondness for parenthetical comments). The layout of the story is fun (if such a word can be used for the subject matter at hand). And, Paula engages the reader well with her style. As I read some of the material regarding the Boy's behaviors toward the Woman's Child, I felt myself getting angry with the Boy (which is a sure sign I'd be sucked into the story, which makes me think it's written pretty well).

In short, Escaping the Boy is a thought-provoking journey into the mind and world of the narcissistic sociopath. Well worth the read.
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I'm a psychologist and I was married to a narcissistic sociopath. This book was not meant to be a psychology text - it was meant to be a tale to retell this life story. I found myself reliving my life through this and yes, I am an intelligent and strong woman, but I too was sucked in. In fact my mother once told me "strong, intelligent women are victims easier because they don't believe they can be!". Too true. For anyone who has lived this, it is a re-telling. If you haven't and are going out with someone who seems really charming (like this man) but has few or no friends and starts to be blaming (restaurants, his work, past partners etc.) RUN!

A nice short novella to remind us these people exist and there are many of them. Now that I recognise them, I sometimes see them in the partners of my clients. They don't come to see me themselves as they don't think they have anything wrong with them - they send their partner to be "fixed". I treat their demoralised partners who I help rebuild.
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Too many people suffer through situations like this on a daily basis and think there is nothing they can do. Or worse, they go along thinking this is how life is, I cannot change this person, I must deserve this treatment, who else will love me?
Paula brings the abuse to light without dredging through all of the details of the abuse suffered by her and her child at the hands of the "boy".
Anyone who has been, is in, or knows someone close who is in a mentally abusive relationship can read between the lines and see this abuse and this situation was far worse than Paula shares.
It is not about bashing the "boy". It is about helping people realize you do not deserve this type of treatment. It is about realizing it is OK to leave. It is also about the emotional freedom you gain after you leave.
Paula took great steps to put this in the most basic prose. She details telling signs.... Things most of us would see and write it off as "Dysfunction". After all, aren't most families a little dysfunctional these days?
This is about one previously abused soul reaching out to other abused souls, to create an awareness and a hope.
The story is easy to read and straight to the point.
The most amazing thing is the story was true, lived out by Paula and her young son.
If by writing this Paula can help one person escape the nightmare she lived, then her job is done.
Well done!
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