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Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) Paperback – August 18, 2009
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"There is no more common enemy of true manhood than the diversion or the perversion of our sexual capacities. I welcome every contribution to the arsenal of resistance."
-Jack W. Hayford, Litt.D., pastor of The Church on the Way and president of The King's Seminary
"The vulnerable, honest, and insightful pages of this book reveal what every
man must know."
-Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
"Clear, practical principles for sexual purity...a call for courage, commitment,
-Dr. John C. Maxwell, founder of The INJOY Group
"Read with an open heart, Every Man's Battle may save your marriage and your witness."
-Dr. Gary Rosberg, president of America's Family Coaches and author of Guard Your Heart and The Five Love Needs of Men and Women
About the Author
Stephen Arterburn is coauthor of the best-selling Every Man series from WaterBrook Press. He is founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily New Life Live! national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, a nationally known speaker and licensed minister, and the author of more than forty books. He lives in Laguna Beach, California.
Fred Stoeker is coauthor of the best-selling Every Man Series. He is founder and chairman of Living True Ministries and a conference speaker who has counseled hundreds of men and married couples. Fred and his wife, Brenda, live near Des Moines, Iowa, with their four children.
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On the downside, the book unnecessarily reads like some soft porn novel when he describes in detail examples of his and others sins and temptations. Chapter one starts off on this note with such descriptions as "...two tiny triangles of tie-dyed fabric struggled to contain her ample bosom." and "My eyes feasted on this banquet of glistening flesh...". I pictured an AA meeting where the mentor describing a delicious and refreshing icy cold beer on a hot summer day. If they would write a G rated version I would feel comfortable recommending it to anyone.
The main praise I have of this book is its talk about how we as men get visual satisfaction from our eyes, which at first glance doesn't seem that interesting since we know that many men enjoy pornography, which is based on visual stimulation. However, I did not think that this eye stimulation also came from just looking at women you pass by in your day-to-day life. I noticed that I often looked at women who walked by lustfully, which is easy to do considering that I am a college student and am on a college campus five days a week. However, this does not give me the right to scope out other women lustfully; the only woman I am permitted by scripture to think about in a sexual manner is my wife. So, how do we as married men avoid this problem?
The authors point out a method that I have found useful as I have tried it over the last few days: Bouncing your eyes. The method is simply that when you encounter attractive women or pictures of them you look at something else immediately since you have no right to look at women in lustful manner. This not to say you cannot talk to attractive women other than your wife, but you need to maintain eye contact and not allow your eyes to wander. I have found it useful also when thoughts enter my mind to twist my wedding band, which changes the focus of my thoughts and reminds me of the person that I have committed myself to.
Like I said in my review for the former book, the authors tend to go overboard at times. At one point, Fred (one of the authors) mentions that you cannot even be attracted to other women if you are married (yes, he really said that). This is nonsense and dangerous. In life you will meet other women who are attractive, just as your wife will meet other attractive men. It is simply a brute fact that attraction is something that occurs with you have little if any causal control over it. While you can control your lusts, you cannot control your attractions. I mention this because the authors can get a little out there at times, and this can cloud their important message.
I recommend this book to every married man, with the caution that he is a Christian of some sort.. It will help put you on the road to being the man your wife envisioned when she married you.
The authors also have a habit of providing a bit too much description of their stories and scenarios, which is counterproductive given the point of the book.