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Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution Paperback – December 3, 2013
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"There is perhaps no greater challenge in our personal relationships than conflict. In this wonderfully engaging, perceptive, and wise little book, Diane Musho Hamilton shows us how to negotiate this delicate terrain with skillful means."—William L. Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes
"A groundbreaking, creative account of how the qualities of nonattachment, equanimity, and flexibility of mind that are cultivated in meditation practice can help inform and enliven the vial work of mediating human conflicts and misunderstandings."—Jan Chozen Bays, author of How to Train a Wild Elephant
"A wonderful, down-to-earth, and very useful book on conflict resolution. Read it professionally, read it as a layperson, read it for work, read it for relationships, read it for your own inner conflicts—but read it for sure, and find a genuine peace and contentment under all of your seemingly intractable conflicts."—Ken Wilber
About the Author
DIANE MUSHO HAMILTON is a Zen teacher and priest and was the first Director of the Office of Alternative Dispute Resolution of the Utah Judiciary. The recipient of numerous awards for her work in mediation, she is also cofounder of Two Arrows Zen, a practice organization with centers in Salt Lake City and in the red rock country of Southern Utah.
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One of the highlights is Hamilton’s treatment of the three fundamental perspectives: I, You, and It. She points out the importance of having your own perspective with the capacity to make your requests known and setting boundaries by saying, “No.” Then she makes it clear that being able to see from another’s perspective is not at all passive but a strength that involves the art of listening and taking in the other person without necessarily agreeing with them on everything. The It perspective includes the broad implications from the past and future with a sense of neutrality. Hamilton notes that anyone who can view from all three perspectives has emotional maturity, fearlessness, and insight, and such a person is a great gift.
Personally the first 30 pages were a challenge for me. I thought another book with a great title but the same information as others before it. But I was rewarded for sticking with it and enjoyed the book and gained knowledge on how to see that there are others perspectives to take into account, when you think you are the one who is right and the other person is wrong.
I have chapter 17 marked to look back at it often. It is titled The Shadow In Conflict. It touched me deeply in understanding how I look at another person critically and shows how to overcome that critical view.
200 pages that are easy to read and I am sure you will be better after you have finished the book and the chapter reviews. Go buy this book.
Only a a deep meditator and practiced mediator of life could paint the landscapes of our human terrain and predicament in such a poignant manner as to not leave us hanging on the gallows, or wondering about our other parts. Diane takes us on a brilliant and humorous journey of unfolding our choices in life in such a clear way as to leave us never in the same jumble as we were before this great read! I highly recommend " "Everything is Workable" for all who want more compassionate integrated awareness and less torture in their everyday experience of life's challenges!