"Eyewitness Auschwitz" by Filip Muller (180 pages, 1979).
Filip Muller was for three years imprisoned in Auschwitz, a slave laborer who worked in the Sonderkommando; his job placed him in the crematorium loading bodies into the ovens. Muller's testimony, documented in explicit and painful detail, is a vitally important capture of the worst evils perpetrated by the Nazis. Below are several passages that struck this reader particularly hard;
Describing the aftermath of a brutal and murderous day, "Fischl examined everything carefully. Then he divided the booty into seven scrupulously equal parts. In spite of what happened today Fischl appeared to be the most satisfied among us. The Lord Adonai had hearkened to him: now he owned a prayer book in Hebrew and a set of Tefilin. Early next morning he went through the ritual of putting on Tefilin... He prayed so fervently and humbly that God - if he existed - must surely have heard his voice; for it rose from a place where men and women, who like himself believed in the Eternal One and who adored the Almighty Lord, were daily slaughtered like cattle. And this foreman who was forced to help the SS murderers take his fellow Jews to their doom, this strong man who, at first glance, seemed ready for anything, never once in his innermost soul renounced the faith of his fathers. At this moment he must have been alone among Jews all over the world to praise God's name in a place where that name was desecrated in the vilest possible manner. To me Fischl seemed a creature from another world, a world solely ruled and embodied by a God whom I sought in vain to comprehend in Auschwitz." Page 35
Describing the cremation in open air pits of the Hungarians:
"The corpses in the pit looked as if they had been chained together. Tongues of a thousand tiny blue red flames were licking them. The fire grew fiercer and flames leapt higher. Under the ever increasing heat a few of the dead began to stir, writhing as though with some unbearable pain, arms and legs straining in slow motion, and even their bodies straightening up a little, hesitant and with difficulty, almost as if with their last strength they were trying to rebel against their doom. Eventually the fire became so fierce that the corpses were enveloped by flames. Blisters which had formed on their skin burst one by one. Almost every corpse was covered with black scorch marks and glistened as if it were greased. The searing heat had burst open their bellies: there was the violent hissing and spluttering of frying in great heat. Boiling fat flowed into the pans on either side of the pit. Fanned by the wind, the flames, dark red before, now took on a fiery white hue: the corpses were burning so fiercely they were consumed by their own heat. The process of incineration took five to six hours. What was left barely filled a third of the pit. The shiny whitish grey surface was strewn with countless skulls." Page 138
Describing the preparations to in the crematorium for the murder of the 'Family Camp': "Voss was sitting at a table, thoughtfully drumming the table top with his pencil and consulting his wrist watch; then he began scribbling figures on a scrap of paper. After a while he turned to the Kapos and said: 'To get the stiffs burnt by tomorrow morning is no problem. All yo have to do is to see that every other load consists of two men and one woman from the transport, together with a Mussulman and a child. For every other load use only good material from the transport, two men, one woman and a child. After every two loading's empty out the ashes t prevent the channels from getting blocked.'" Page 98
"I was watching a young mother. First she took off her shoes, then the shoes of her small daughter. Then she removed her stocking, then the stockings of the little girl. All the time she endeavored to answer the child's questions steadily. When asked: "Mummy, why are we undressing?" her mother replied "Because we must." When the little girl went on to ask: "Is the doctor going to examine me, and make me well again?" her sorrowful mother replied: "He will, my darling, soon you will be well, and then we'll all be happy." It cost he unfortunate woman all of ger self control to utter these words. She was struggling to go on talking to her beloved child quite normally to spare her the terror of her imminent death.... What were her innermost thoughts at this moment? Was she remembering her own youth, her home town, her parents' house or the brief days of her marriage?
At last the SS man came to take her to the place of execution. She lifted up her little girl and hugged her tenderly. She even forgot, so engrossed with her child was she, to bid farewell to her husband.... And now she stood in front of the wall of execution, holding her child clasped tightly in her arms. The room reeked of fresh, warm human blood. Motionless, her eyes closed, the woman waited for the end; she waited and waited for the killer bullet to take her away from this tormenting life, from this hostile world, into another realm.... Meanwhile Voss, the executioner, was circling round mother and child looking for a spot on the child's little body at which to aim his gun. When the distracted mother noticed this she began to twist and turn to the left and right, back and forth, anything to take her child out of the field of fire. Suddenly three shots cracked through the silence. The little girl was hit in the side of the chest. Her mother feeling her child's blood flowing down her body lost all self control and flung her daughter straight at the murderer's head while he was already aiming the barrel of the gun at her." Page 72
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