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Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts Paperback – October 16, 2012
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In Facing Heartbreak, authors and clinicians Stefanie Carnes, Mari A. Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez, combine their wisdom and experience in offering hope to traumatized partners of sex addicts. This book lays out a clear and compassionate path of healing. It is as comprehensive as it is practical in covering the range of issues faced by the heartbreak of betrayal. The authors have created an invaluable resource and companion for those seeking recovery as well as for the clinicians who treat them.
--Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., CSAT
Author, Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners and When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment
Clinical Director of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in suburban Detroit, Michigan and Life Healing in Santa Fe, New Mexico
This groundbreaking book fills a huge gap in helping partners of sex addicts realize the full possibility of their potential for restoring their lives. Following the guidance of Facing Heartbreak will ensure the discovery of a vital, healthy self, long ago lost by deceit. This is the book I will be putting in the hands of all my clients.
--Alexandra Katehakis, MA, MFT
Author, Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex Addiction
This is a wonderful resource for partners of sex addicts who are seeking to understand the impact of the lies, manipulation, and betrayal they have endured. Packed with easy to use, practical exercises, Facing Heartbreak is an essential guide to healing.
--M. Deborah Corley, Ph.D., LMFT, CSAT
Co-founder and co-owner of Santé Center for Healing
Co-author, Disclosing Secrets: An Addict’s Guide to When, To Whom, and How Much to Reveal
In the aftermath of discovering their mate’s sex addiction, this book provides a series of detailed exercises to help men and women work through their emotions, understand addiction, heal themselves, and make good decisions. For partners looking for a step-by-step guide to recovery, Facing Heartbreak should be required reading. I highly recommend it.
--Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., Ph.D.
Author, Disclosing Secrets; Back from Betrayal; Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness; and Untangling the Web
WOW! The authors have delivered a much needed guide for the men and women who have been traumatized by their partner’s betrayal. This is a must read for both therapists and partners. It is helps betrayed partners make sense of their emotions and know there is a way out of the confusion. This much needed Patrick Carnes Task Centered Approach helps readers understand what is happening and what to do. This is not about theory, it is about healing. Thank you for your never ending dedication to excellence.
--Barbara S Levinson Ph.D, RN, LMFT, CST Diplomate, CSAT Supervisor, LSOTP
The consequences and hurt evoked by infidelity and unresolved addictions are universal, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation. Love and pain often live side by side for those surviving the loss of trust, secrecy and the betrayal that occurs for partners of sex addicts. With incredible sensitivity and insight, the authors of Facing Heartbreak provide the concrete direction and support necessary for partners of sex addicts to find answers, healing and peace.
--Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S
Author, Educator, Addiction Specialist
About the Author
Mari A. Lee, MA, LMFT, CSAT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Ms. Lee is the founder of Growth Counseling Services, Inc., a recovery center in Pasadena, CA, where she sees clients for individual, couples and group therapy. In addition, she is a respected writer, speaker and presenter on women’s issues, compulsive sexual behavior, trauma, communication, and leads workshops and weekend intensives for women in the areas of co-dependency, self-image and esteem. Ms. Lee resides in Southern California.
Anthony Rodriguez, MSW, CSAT, BCSA, LISW, LCSW, is the Founder and Clinical Director of The Men’s Center. Mr. Rodriguez has pursued continuing education in the areas of treating survivors of sexual violence, anger management, addictions and other general mental health issues. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and is Board certified in treating sexual abuse by the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. He is also a technical consultant with the Office for Victims of Crime Training & Technical Assistance Center (U.S. Dept. of Justice). Mr Rodriguez resides in Iowa City, IA.
Top Customer Reviews
The book is divided into 8 sections:
1. The Trauma of Discovery -- During the often protracted process of learning the full truth about a partner's compulsive sexual activity, the other partner experiences deep pain. This is exacerbated by the fact that the period of discovery often includes extensive deception. So understanding only occurs gradually. The experience is truly one of trauma -- having been wounded deeply. This chapter deals with coping with that pain.
2. Manage the Crisis -- This chapter covers the process of setting up boundaries, finding support, and deciding who to tell. The authors counsel waiting at least a year before making any major decisions.
3. How to Deal with Emotional Aftershock -- Now that systems of self-protection have been set up, waves of other difficult emotions will surface: anger, shame, confusion, and numbness. This chapter shows the way to hope.
4. The Nature of Sex Addiction -- This chapter explores what sex addiction is, including the changes in brain chemistry that occur. Myths are debunked, and the requirements for recovery are explored.
5. How to Communicate Your Feelings -- Teaches the art of listening and communication.Read more ›
This book takes you through the stage of discovery, your pain and suffering and tells you how to go about recognizing your emotional roller coaster ...and then get strong enough to move past that. Take charge of YOU. Take control of what happens in your life from this point on and where your boundaries are. The hardest part is getting past the feeling of being 'selfish' and taking care of your needs, yourself first.
Do also read Mending a Shattered Heart. These two books together worked wonders for me. From understanding to beginning to heal.
If you are a therapist, I recommend you get a copy immediately, whether you think you work with people who could be impacted by sexual addiction or not. The truth is, any of our clients can find out about hidden issues at any time, and we need to be ready with information, support, and the ability to develop a safety plan in the moment.
If you are the partner of someone that is, or that you are concerned is a sex addict- check out this book and look for a sex addiction specialist in your area. The training that certified sex addiction specialists (CSAT) go through is intense and thorough.
Without a doubt if you are thinking of this book, you know why, and you will benefit from it. Go ahead and do it sooner rather than later.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great workbook. It makes you dig deep which is painful but so needed for healingPublished 1 month ago by A. Champine
I don't think anything could have made me feel better about the situation at that point in my life but the book had some valid points and helpful ideas.Published 2 months ago by Simply Blessed
I so wish every person that was blind sided by the discovery of a lifetime with a sex addict would be given this book. It is helping me tremendously!!!Published 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
A great book. Lets me know that I'm not the only one facing this situation and it gives me some things to consider when deciding on what steps I can take or decisions I need to... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Michelle D. Rogers
Very interactive with the exercises in each chapter. It definitely helps when you could journal your thoughts.Published 10 months ago by Anthony R Mangione
If you want to do some serious work to heal the feeling of betrayal, this workbook will help.Published 11 months ago by Comstock M