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Fangs for the Mammaries (Baen Fantasy) Mass Market Paperback – September 28, 2010

4.3 out of 5 stars 50

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The Follow-Up to Witch Way to the Mall and Strip Mauled from the Creator of the Chicks in Chainmail Series. Here Come the Vampires to Put the Bite on Suburbia.

Having inflicted the smug homes of suburbia with witches and werewolves. Esther Friesner now unleashes the undead to tap a vein of blood
and humor, and drain the suburbs dry of both.

Vampires and the suburbs are a match made in heaven, or maybe Levittown. Remember Dracula? He didn’t run into any real problems until he took his act on the road and traveled to the Big City. But in the suburbs, everyone is polite and respectful of their neighbors’ right to privacy. And if your neighbors happen to have kids selling gift-wrap, magazine subscriptions, cookies, or other school fundraising ploys, and little Emily or Jason happen to come peddling their wares after sundown . . . Who says you have to stay in the city if you want good take-out meals delivered right to your door? There’s no one quite like a vampire for saying, “All of you kids get off of my lawn!” and putting some
teeth into it.

The stories in these pages—by Sarah A. Hoyt, K.D. Wentworth, Dave Freer and more, including Esther Friesner herself—will convince the reader that vampires and suburbs go together like wine and cheese, gin and tonic, desperation and housewives, marriage and pre-nups. Enter freely and of your own will . . .

"All the Little Raindrops: A Novel" by Mia Sheridan for $10.39
The chilling story of the abduction of two teenagers, their escape, and the dark secrets that, years later, bring them back to the scene of the crime. | Learn more

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Esther Friesner is winner twice over of the coveted Nebula Award (for the Year’s Best short Story, 1995 and 1996) and is the author of over thirty novels, including the USA Today best-seller Warchild, and more than one hundred short stories. For Baen she edited the five popular “Chicks in Chainmail” anthologies. Her works have been published in the UK, Japan, Germany, Russia, France and Italy. She lives in Connecticut with her husband, two children, and two rambunctious cats.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Baen (September 28, 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 432 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1439133921
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1439133927
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.19 x 1.1 x 6.75 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 out of 5 stars 50

About the authors

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Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
50 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2014
This is a fun book to read. The stories are short enough to read the different stories at lunchtime. These are fun to read stories. I look forward to other Esther Friesner books
Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2015
I had chuckles and enjoyed the stories that keeped you guessing til the end.
Reviewed in the United States on October 29, 2011
This book has quite a few cute vampire stories in it. Some are smiles, some giggles & a couple are laugh out load funny. There are a couple that may be "grisly" to some readers. I did not like the one about the noisy neighbors but other than that one, I enjoyed this Halloween book.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2014
This is a good, light hearted book that was fun to read. Freisner it again, hitting a home run with this.
Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2013
With stories by many of my favorite authors (unsung heroes all), I love Esther Friesner's anthologies! I'm a huge fan of urban fantasy, and this entire series was spot on with fang-in-cheek humor!

Definitely a recommended read for any urban fantasy fan.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2010
Fangs for the Mammaries (2010) is the third Fantasy anthology in the Supernatural Suburbia series, following  Strip Mauled . The previous volume covered Werefolk in the suburbs. This collection looks at Vampires outside the cities.

- Introduction by Esther M. Friesner announces the winner of the title contest and provides a little more information.

- Overbite by Jody Lynn Nye tells of a human passing as a vampire.

- "In Music Be the Food of Love" by David Freer relates the trials of a vampire with a wayward daughter.

- Soccer Mom SmackDown by Julia S. Mandala confronts a vampire mother with a girl who bullies her son.

- Tecate for Hecate by Kevin Andrew Murphy takes a magician to Hecate for help, but he is a little short on the bottles of beer.

- Miss White-Hands's Class Goes Shopping by K. D. Wentworth reveals the events of a night class field trip to a shopping mall.

- A Matter of Blood by Sarah A. Hoyt provides Agnes with a greater understanding of her boss.

- Sarah Bailey and the Texas Beauty Queen by Lee Martindale shows the advantages of a good double kick.

- Family Matters by David D. Levine involves Julian with a Romanian vampire, which irritates Liz.

- Sappy Meals by Hildy Silverman explains the problem of groupies leaping into the arms of confused vampires.

- Fruit of the Vein by Lucienne Diver presents an engagement party with a dead body in the coat room.

- Stick or Treat by Daniel M. Hoyt introduces a divorcee to Halloween in a vampire community.

- Food Quart by Selina Rosen regards a vampire security guard who is a little late in his rounds.

- Dazed and Confused by Susan Sizemore puts a vampire father in the power of a human extortionist.

- Trampire by Robin Wayne Bailey places a blues magician in a very exciting situation.

- Vampless by Sarah Zettel frustrates a closely guarded girl looking for a vampire of her own.

- The Goth Girl Next Door by Linda L. Donahue has a retired monster hunter moving into the neighborhood.

- Long in the Tooth by Esther M. Friesner deals with a man who prefers older women, but is snared by a conniving golddigger.

- Bella and the Flying Lugosi by Laura J. Underwood brings a new family of vampires into the mansion next door to a Van Helsing.

- Bait and Switch by Steven Piziks concerns a private investigator who specializes in vampire beaus.

These tales explore the field pioneered by the Addams Family. Most of the puns are contained in the Introduction, but a few more are squeezed in here and there. And the humor shines within each story.

Unfortunately, this is the last volume in the series (notify the publisher if you want more). Still, 
Chicks Ahoy  is coming out soon. Read and enjoy!

Recommended for Friesner fans and for anyone else who enjoys tales of preternatural creatures, suburban intrigue, and fangy folks.

-Arthur W. Jordin
10 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2013
I really, really wanted to like this book, but it just didn't do anything for me. I love horror, I love monsters, I love analogies - this SHOULD be a great read for me. But... it didn't really work for me.
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2014
The stores are just great you're done with some really good people and how can you go wrong with a book has a time like this how it recommended to anybody into this type of humor

Top reviews from other countries

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Perceptive Reader
3.0 out of 5 stars Comically Bloody
Reviewed in India on July 27, 2019
The best thing about this anthology, in my opinion, was the fact that none of the authors had taken themselves too seriously. As a result, we didn’t get many overwritten pieces. There were a few tedious and needlessly lengthy stories. But there were several laugh-out-loud moments offered by the following three works:
1. Esther Friesner's 'Introduction' was brilliant. Tragically, her story 'Long in the Tooth' was rather weak and pedantic.
2. David Freer's 'If Music Be the Food Of Love...' was simply awesome. I simply MUST read more of his works.
3. Hildy Silverman's 'Sappy Meals', despite its American suburb setting, was incredibly British in its dry (bloodless?) humour. Loved it totally.
Apart from these three, there were several readable works, full of alcohol, hormone, sex or suggestions thereof. I went through them deriving small pleasures. But the above-mentioned three would remain a genuine delight.
Müller
5.0 out of 5 stars Humor-Horror
Reviewed in Germany on April 6, 2011
Das ist nun wieder ein Buch, das den deutschen Markt wohl kaum erreichen wird, denn es handelt sich um eine Anthologie und damit tun sich die Verlage ja schwer. Dabei ist die von Esther Friesner herausgegebene Reihe sehr erfolgreich. Sie begann mit "Chicks in Chainmail" und beschäftigt sich nun schon zum dritten Mal mit übernatürlichen Kreaturen der ... Vorstädte. Nach der ersten Trilogie von witzigen Fantasygeschichten mit selbstverständlich weiblichen Protagonisten kamen zunächst die Hexen (Witch Way to the Mall) und Werwölfe (Strip Mauled) an die Reihe. Übrigens sind die Titel immer Wortspiele. Diesmal also die Vampire mit dem nur schwer übersetzbaren Titel "Reißzähne für die Brüste", ein Wortspiel mit (wahrscheinlich) "Danke für die Erinnerungen".
Friesners Autorengemeinde nimmt nicht nur die sprichwörtlichen amerikanischen Vorstädte mit ihrer Ereignislosigkeit, Gleichförmigkeit aber auch Bigotterie aufs Korn, gewisse gerade aktuelle Vampirromanzen bekommen auch schön ihr Fett weg. Sie versammelte in diesem Buch Größen wie Jody Lynn Nye, David Freer (ja, auch Männer), Sarah Zettel oder Linda L. Donahue neben einer ganzen Reihe anderer.
Einige der Geschichten sind praktisch Fortsetzungen von anderen in den früheren Büchern, aber die meisten stehen für sich. Dabei sind das kaum humoristische Stories, aber wenigstens gehen sie immer gut aus. Man kann sie trotz ihres Inhaltes eigentlich nicht zum Horror rechnen.
Wer Englisch liest und Kurzgeschichten voller für das Genre ungewöhnlicher Sichtweisen und Humor mag, sollte die Reihe der Chicks-Bücher probieren.
Sorsha Jan
5.0 out of 5 stars Vampire - ausgelutschtes Thema? Nicht bei diesen neuen saftigen ganz frischen witzigen Vampirgeschichten
Reviewed in Germany on February 1, 2014
Vampire sind ganz anders- ja Here ist das wirklich so. In dieser witzigen Sammlung stecken nur frische unverbrauchte Ideen mit Biss. Humor, unerwartete Wendungen und jede Menge Ironie und Herzblut der Autoren machen dies Buch zu einem erfrischenden Erlebnis, auch für Leser wie mich, die schon viele Fantasygeschichten gelesen haben. Vorsicht, beim Lesen in öffentlichen Verekehrsmitteln führt lautes Lachen beim Lesen oft zu misstrauischen Blicken dere Mitreisenden....
Leseratte
1.0 out of 5 stars I did not like this one
Reviewed in Germany on February 13, 2013
Alas, I did not like this one. It seemed to me that every story was written with a view to a nice and clean ending, which grew old after the first story.