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The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced & Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict by [Rios MS LMFT, Shannon R.]
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The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced & Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict Kindle Edition

4.8 out of 5 stars 16 customer reviews

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Length: 265 pages Word Wise: Enabled

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"This book is outstanding! I highly recommend it." Judge Stephen A. Groome, 11th Judicial District, State of CO
"Don't let the word Fatal in the title scare you.You will find Shannon Rios's book to be one of the best parenting after divorce books ever written.This book should be required reading in all divorce classes." David L. Levy, Esq., President, Board of Trustees, Children's Rights Council

This book offers very clear, concise insight into the challenges of raising a child with a co-parent. It offered me some great strategies to improve my parenting and provide a healthy environment for my child. I strongly recommend this book to anyone in a co-parenting situation and who is wants to raise emotionally healthy children.

Phillip Hilgert, Father

"Shannon comes from personal experience and from the heart in her deep 
desire to help children of divorcing parents. Parents - read this 
book! You CAN move through the divorce process without injuring your 
children!"
  Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author/coauthor of "Healing Your Aloneness", 
and "Inner Bonding"

From the Inside Flap

Introduction:
Growing up a child of conflict and divorce, I would never in a million years have imagined myself working with families of divorce. As I began to put this book together, I felt some mixed emotions: sadness as I recalled the pain and conflict I experienced as a child, yet excitement for the hope and help I planned to share through the book. As I was writing my business plan for the coming year, I asked myself, "Is this type of work truly my passion? I am 36 years old, single and have never been married. So why in the world would I want to focus my energy on writing this book?" The truth is that I want to assist you in shielding your children from pain, hurt, and heartache. I know I cannot save the world, but I do know I am here for a purpose, which is to assist in creating healthier families so we can have healthier and happier children. So obviously I made the decision to write this book and I am clear in my heart that I was meant to write it. It has been a complete honor to share my knowledge and to assist families.
When I reach my divorce-education class and see the light go on for parents when they realize how their behavior is impacting their children, my heart is happy. If I help just one child have less anxiety, have better social relationships, be a better partner and parent or just enjoy their childhood more, I can be satisfied that I have done my work. My mind used to want to go to the big picture of impacting, now I just focus on the present, one child at a time. I have a huge heart for children and I know I have been given this vision around children, families and divorce. I make a difference in children's lives, one child at a time.
I am writing this book for you, parents who are divorced, going through a divorce, or considering a divorce. You may also be a co-parent who has never been married to your child's other parent, you too will find this book helpful. It is time for me to share the knowledge that I have gained from my own parents' divorce and conflict, from the parents I have trained, from the children I have counseled, and from the divorces of friends and family. My wish for you and your family is healing, health, and love. My deepest hope is that this book will bring you and your family one step closer to these goals. If what I am sharing assists you in any way to positively impact your family, I know I have done my work here and I am deeply satisfied.
I want to take this time to honor you for picking up this book. In picking up and reading this book, you also want to positively contribute during your time here. You are interested in creating a better society through your own actions. I know this time can feel so painful and that you are making a step to move beyond your pain for the greater good of your children. You want what is best for your children and you are willing to at least explore taking positive action. I thank you for that because you don't have to read this book. You are special. I promise you, if you take action on even some of the suggestions in this book, you will raise children who will be emotionally and physically healthier than they otherwise would have been. They will have an easier life due to your decision to take action in your own life. This is truly the greatest gift you can give to your children. Your children will thank you. Truly, your children do not want material gifts, they want healthy parents and families who love them. I would return every gift my parents ever gave me in return for less conflict and more love in our family.
This book is written from in-depth knowledge and experience with the subject matter. It is also written from my heart. I have no other motive in writing about this topic except the best interests of my readers. May you receive everything you are meant to receive from this book to allow you and your family to heal and move forward in the best way possible for your children. From my heart to yours, I thank you for who you are and for the parent you are for your children. You know they deserve the best parent possible through this event (divorce) that they did not choose. I thank you for being that parent.

Product Details

  • File Size: 8594 KB
  • Print Length: 265 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0615314953
  • Publication Date: November 4, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00A27LDA2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #916,826 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I am an attorney in Colorado. After I read "7 Fatal Mistakes" I bought 50 copies. I am about to buy 50 more. I give them to my clients, to opposing counsel, and to my clients' soon to be ex spouses. The book is phenomenal. Without exception, my clients who have read the book have said it changed the way they were parenting. It is truly modified some of my clients' approach to their children and their exes. For some it has lead to genuine soul searching. This book is good for kids, good for parents, and good for me. It gives me a powerful tool to help parents realize the damage they can inflict on their children through and after a divorce.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read Shannon's book to see what a professional had to say about the effects of divorce on a child. You see, I am a writer of creative non-fiction based on my life experiences as a child of divorce. My parents were divorced over 40 years ago when divorce wasn't as openly talked about. That and the fact that the reason my parents got one was because my father was gay, I thought my situation was unique. Reading this book made me realize that no matter when divorce happens or what the reasons are, many children will react the same.

Shannon puts down in black and white, and with very easy-to-understand language, what every divorced couple needs to discuss with their children, regardless of their ages. The way the `adults' act during and after this time will greatly influence how the child of divorce grows up.

Interestingly, I found that by reading this book I could use some of the lessons to better my relationship with my children and wife even though I am married and have no intentions of a divorce happening.

The questions she poses throughout the book make you think about the consequences of how you act in certain situations. Once again, these can be used by everyone to better their life. The section on being positive and changing your perception of people to one of a positive nature can help everyone.

Shannon talks about closure and how people experience it differently. I thought my closure was when my father died and my mother got remarried. What I found out years later was my real closure was when I wrote my books. I think Shannon experienced the same thing in this book. By writing down what she hopes will help others she probably helped herself understand much more too.

Kudos to Shannon and here's to her helping many more children and adults of divorce.
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Format: Paperback
As Director of Stepfamily Associates I've worked with separated parents for 30 years. The most crucial things for kids is for their parents to DECIDE to learn to work together and this book helps. I've been interviewing parents who've been separated for 10 and up to 40 years and they have wonderful stories of how they have learned to work together and now feel like kin as their grandchildren are born. This book helps parents realize that no matter how they feel at the start of the separation, they will have a relationship of some kind for the rest of their lives. Kids need parents who are speaking respectfully to one another - whether they are together or apart. This book will help parents learn how to get on the same page.
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Format: Paperback
"As a professional mentor and coach for children, I have found "The 7 Fatal Mistakes" to be of great help to both me and the children I work with. Many of these children are witnessing the separation or divorce of their parents and Shannon's book has helped me understand on a much deeper level what these kids are going through. Within 10 minutes of picking up the book I felt armed with knowledge and skills that I applied with a child, and it helped right away! Thank you Shannon for helping me do my best work with these children".

Dace Price
Male Health Advocate
Youth and Family Services
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Format: Paperback
This book offers very clear, concise insight into the challenges of raising a child with a co-parent. It offered me some great strategies to improve my parenting and provide a healthy environment for my child.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone in a co-parenting situation and who is wants to raise emotionally healthy children.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This was referred to both my husband and me by our Guardian ad Litem while going through the divorce process. It is a very powerful book that hits on the emotions and how actions effect children. I will be revisiting it often to remind and help me to do the best I can with our son despite what is happening in the divorce and our relationship.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
When you go through divorce you feel a lot of emotions and don't always think clearly. It is nice to have a head's up to remind you of what to concentrate on and how to lessen the blow on the children. It doesn't always work that way yet with this book you are reminded what the goal is.
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Format: Audible Audio Edition
This book has so many tips, ideas and coaching exercises that are so helpful when dealing with divorce and co-parenting. I love that Shannon Rios puts the child first and that the focus of the book is on creating the best possible experience and environment for the child. The questions that she asks you throughout the book really make you think about the consequences of how you act in certain situations. I would recommend this book to anyone going through separation/divorce and anyone who wants to raise emotionally healthy children.
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