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Showing 1-10 of 11,319 reviews(1 star). See all 84,836 reviews
on December 18, 2013
if 6th graders knew enough about sex to write the dirty passages, and maybe some of them do, then i would be sure this was a middle school class project. i can't for the life of me understand how or why people lost their minds over these books. they are predictable, repetitive, poorly-written pieces of garbage. it's 2013, porn is FREE, people! hardcore, softcore, any fetish you like. all you need is the internet. and also there are so many good writers out there writing wonderful stories about love and companionship and complications. so separate the two and don't let this book get in your head to rot your brain cells. just watch some porn and read some good books. you don't need this book to make your curiosities "ok" somehow. liberate yourself! i thought twilight was the worst book i'd ever read in my life, but that looks like pulitzer prize material compared to this trilogy. if you're a woman, why do you want to read about some idiot girl who puts herself into every dangerous stupid situation possible so some man can come and save her? i'm no feminist, but i'd like to think that i can survive without some weirdo stalkery guy swooping in to save me every time i about get myself killed because i don't listen to directions or use common sense. this book is hazardous to your health - it will make you dumber. there's more literary value in the washing instruction tag on my bath towels. save yourself.
15 people found this helpful
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on March 25, 2012
I enjoy erotica and heard so much about this book that I had to give it a shot, but I'm five chapters in and just can't take it anymore. This has to be the most appallingly atrocious writing I've ever seen in a major release. The pseudonymous British author sets the action (such as it is) in Washington State... for no reason than that her knowledge of America apparently consists of what she read in "Twilight"... but the entire first-person narrative is filled with Britishisms. How many American college students do you know who talk about "prams," "ringing" someone on the phone, or choosing a "smart rucksack" to take "on holiday"? And the author's geography sounds like she put together a jigsaw puzzle of the Pacific Northwest while drunk and ended up with several pieces in the wrong place.

And oh, the repetition...and the repetition...and the repetition. I'm convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap"). And this is only part one of a trilogy...

If I wrote like that, I'd use a pseudonym too.

Like some other reviewers, what I find terribly depressing is that this is a runaway bestseller and the movie rights are expected to sell for up to $5 million. There are so many highly talented writers in the genre... and erotica is so much more erotic when the author has a command of the language and can make you care about the characters. For examples, check out the "Beauty" trilogy written by Anne Rice under the pen name A.N. Roquelaure, or any stories by Donna George Storey or Rachel Kramer Bussel. Just stay away from this triple crap.

*UPDATE*: Thanks to the many other perturbed readers who have shared their own choices of the most annoyingly overused phrases in this masterpiece. Following up on their suggestions with my ever-useful Kindle search function, I have discovered that Ana says "Jeez" 81 times and "oh my" 72 times. She "blushes" or "flushes" 125 times, including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red." (I can't even imagine.) Ana "peeks up" at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian's "hooded eyes," 7 to his "long index finger," and 25 to how "hot" he is (including four recurrences of the epic declarative sentence "He's so freaking hot."). Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line" 10 times. Characters "murmur" 199 times, "mutter" 49 times, and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Christian and Ana also "gasp" 46 times and experience 18 "breath hitches," suggesting a need for prompt intervention by paramedics. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.
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on May 15, 2018
This has all the makings of a bestseller. Poorly realized characterizations, a plotline that could easily be the Hardy Boys in "The Mystery of the Gullible, Horny Virgin," and a classic children's viewpoint of S&M, BDSM, D/s, and other adult play involving consent and control. There are so many better choices, as erotica, as romance, as tutorial, and as literature. "The Story of O" by "O," "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" by Anne Rice, "Delta of Venus" by Anais Nin, and "The Marketplace" by Laura Antoniou. @
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on October 15, 2017
Stop biting your lip Ana. Those words are stuck like a bad song in my ear. I broke down and bought this book to see what the hoopla was about. Peer pressure I guess. Um? Yeah? That's it?? Ok I get the sex scenes have some steam to them. But the writing is so painful. Ana's internal monologue is painful. Ana is a,painful character. I almost quit reading so many times. But it was one of those reads in which I kept telling myself that maybe it will get better. I would only keep reading the series just to find out what caused Grey to become who he is. But I'll just Google that to save wasting anymore of my life.
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on November 14, 2014
Oh my god if this wasn't an ebook, I'd have hurled it out the window by now. So badly written. SO badly written. The same phrases over and over, the sex scenes aren't even hot. They're hilarious! She's written like she's 12 or 13 and he's written like he's 45-50. It just doesn't work and is slightly creepy. I found myself skimming the last few chapters just to get through the damn thing and wishing I could slap her and the author. I kept thinking if this premise had been put in a capable writers hands, it could have been spectacular. Or maybe a really good editor. Maybe the movie will make it better. At least we won't have to deal with the juvenile internal monologue. Do you're self a favor, do not buy into the hype and spend your money on a better book.
52 people found this helpful
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on April 18, 2017
Children should not be allowed to write smut...
wait.. you mean an adult wrote this?
Do they know what sex is?
Do they know what BDSM is?
Do they have first hand experience in BDSM?

No, just... no.. save your self the trouble and pick up Training of O.
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on September 18, 2014
I read the series due to all the hype and I can honestly say that I am glad that I read them. I am glad that I read them because they are very poorly written and this makes me have a little more confidence in myself. Every time I doubt myself I remember phrases in the series, like "oh my" being frequently used as a way to describe Christian or everything spoken is "murmured". Considering how dialog heavy this book "he murmured," she "murmured" or the occasional, replied "breathlessly" is very annoying. The word murmur is used about 200 times, I know this because I got bored during what was supposed to be an erotic scene and pressed ctrl f and searched for murmur, and that was the total.
I understand that the series is supposed to be a sexy fantasy of a young wealthy man who sweeps the unlikely woman off her feet, however I have a problem with how extremely far fetched everything is. In my opinion it would've been sexier if the story seemed like it could happen to your everyday person. I think Christian buying Ana a brand new car, mac book, an IPad, and a closet filled with designer clothes after them being together a week isn't a fantasy, it becomes borderline delusional.
I found the series to be fairly predictable. Christian's character was very easy to guess what his next move would be and the Ana character was a moody brat. *****Spoiler Alert***** Okay, now I'm going to explain why the ending of the 1st book was so stupid to me. Christian is extremely patient and understanding with Ana in regards to BDSM. He puts everything in writing and has her go research everything in regards to the Dom/Sub lifestyle, then he takes her into his red room of pain and shows her everything and patiently answers her questions. He repeatedly offers to take things slow and the 1st time he spanks her she cries about it. He holds her and all that nice stuff and they make-up. Its a few days later she was asking how far he wanted the pain to go and he said he stops once the skin is pink, no bruising or anything. She said that she wants to feel what the worst pain is. He repeatedly asks if shes's okay with this, makes her repeat the safe words to him and then spanks her with a leather belt. She never said the safe word, instead she breaks up with him afterward he spanks her. I don't understand that logic. The author tries explaining it all away as Ana not feeling up to being able to handle the pain he needs to inflict. I can kinda see that, however, he gave her everything in writing, is patient, and she told him to go full force, how are you going to break up with someone because you made a poor choice?! He asked her in the 2nd book why she didn't say the safe word and she admitted it was because she forgot them. How in the world does it make sense to break up with someone over that?!
Overall though I would recommend this book to anyone in need of a good laugh or anyone that hopes to become a writer. If this trash can be a bestseller then I believe that anything can be.
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on January 27, 2014
I asked several women friends before I read this and I got mixed reviews. However, everyone I talked to only commented on the "kinkiness" (is that a word?) of the story! Generally speaking, women in their 60's and older frowned upon it, one even commented that she refused to read further than the 1st chapter of the 1st book. Whereas women in their 40's-50's were "okay" ("It's very risqué but readable") with it and younger 20's-30's couldn't stop talking about it ("OMG! It's SOOOOO kinky!")

I fall into the 40-50 group and I have about the same response to it's level of kinkiness. I am shocked that these books have gotten so much publicity and hype. But all the hype is all about the level of kinky…..nothing to do with story.

As for the books themselves though, I felt like the story line was just quickly thrown together in a hurry to get to the sex parts and the sex parts were every other page. It seemed that the author had 2 or 3 kinky ideas and then she just kept repeating those over and over and over and over. There didn't seem to be any time spent on actually developing the characters or a story line beyond the rough sketch. I spent a lot of my time on the first book divided between trying to figure out how the lead female character could be so stupid considering her high GPA and tossing the book down calling BS because life doesn't work that way! The first book seemed elementary and pornographic….complete with the nonexistent story line, the horrible sound quality, and the bad acting. I didn't fall in love with Christian Grey and I didn't find any of the other characters believable. All that being said….Book 1 kept my attention through about 3 quarters of it….mainly because I kept hoping it would get better. Book 2 is where I gave up on it getting any better and I started skipping the sex scenes. I found it difficult to make myself pick the book up. By book three I was skipping the sex scenes and anything that didn't include dialog and had to force myself to pick the book up.

I often re-read books after a couple of years but I can guarantee this one I will not re-read. I am curios to know how they will make movie out of it without making it a porno.
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on October 7, 2013
If you are looking for a good writing/ story book to read, forget these books. Don't waste your money and time. If you want sex porn type reading material, then these are the books for you. I bought this trilogy because it was so popular. I thought these books must be really good. Well, I was wrong. It took me almost a year to finish them because I kept on putting them down, I continued to read them because I hate wasting money. Storyline was stalling and going no where. Also, they are very predictable. Like one reviewer said (I should have read her review before wasting my money), if you removed all the sex, the character's blushing, biting her lip, etc...there would be just 50 or less pages left for the story. Don't get me wrong, I have read lots of books with tons of erotic sex in them too but there are great story involved and not to mention great writing. One good example, read Karen Marie Moning, the Highlanders series. My analogy to the 50 shades: triple X porn movie without story. All you get is the unbelievable sex scene that eventually bored you to death.
6 people found this helpful
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on July 5, 2012
i have to admit that i could not even finish this book. I never buy a book just because everybody is talking about it but a few girls at work were really into it so i thought why not. I put it down and picked it back up a few weeks later thinking i might just not have been in the mood. The line about him gasping because of her biting her lip...and then he gasped again a few pages later. I just could not go on. I'm sorry but men dont gasp like little girls, and if they do i dont want to read about it. Yes i want the man to have feelings and not just be me Tarzan you Jane..but come on. Both of the characters just annoyed me...and i could not deal with any more gasping....If you want a good erotica try Laurell K Hamilton (her early Anita Blake series).
13 people found this helpful
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