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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy Hardcover – November 2, 2010

4.4 out of 5 stars 691 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Guest Reviewer: Seth MacFarlane
Seth MacFarlane is best known for creating the animated sitcoms Family Guy, American Dad! and The Cleveland Show.

Reading In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks opened my eyes to three things: 1) Adam is a top-notch complainer, probably the best in the world, 2) America is in serious trouble, and 3) Adam is hilarious.

Adam uses this book to break down our societal shortcomings using the combination of logic and humor that he’s perfected. He made me glad that I never leave the house. Going out entails interacting with the general public, and the general public is dumb (no offense to those of you in the general public). And when I say dumb, I don’t mean the innocent kind of dumb like a dog that thinks his reflection is another dog. I mean the dangerous kind of dumb, like Lennie in Of Mice and Men—good-natured, mentally limited, and tremendously powerful. You leave your house one morning to get groceries, and you end up getting your neck accidentally broken by the guy giving you directions out of the parking lot.

In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks is less of a book, and more of a guide for how to be a better man and/or woman (mostly man). Buy this book. Don’t buy it because I told you to; buy it because it’s funny. Buy it if you think Phillips Head is an alt rock band or if you wear V-neck T-shirts. Definitely buy it if you call appetizers “tapas” or if “LOL” is anywhere in your vocabulary. Buy this book and study it.


"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."
--Jimmy Kimmel

"Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person."
--Alec Baldwin

"If you’re a man, read this book.  If you’re a man who wears turtlenecks, wise up.  Nobody thinks that looks good."
--Seth MacFarlane

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor—fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny—sucks out like liposuction the  layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”
--Ken Burns

"If comedy books were big-breasted porn stars, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon."
--Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author of The Book of Basketball

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype; First Edition edition (November 2, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307717372
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307717375
  • Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 1 x 9.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (691 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #259,529 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
If you already know Adam's body of work I don't need to convince you.

For those looking to judge the book by the cover and are just looking to complain how the 'man show guy' is being a 'sexist pig' - take the time to read the pages and, if you have an open mind, you will find yourself laughing at his takes and actually agreeing with many.

The book is actually rather well written and organized perfectly to keep the reader entertained. Although it is laid out to be more of a bathroom reader, you will likely find yourself not being able to put the book down and eventually wanting more.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'll admit, I've been an Adam Carolla fan since I heard him on Loveline and saw him on the Man Show. I was baffled when "The Adam Carolla Project" didn't turn into a multi-season show. This guy is a real man, which based off what is spewed across the various types of media in front of me, I'll assume is pretty damn rare in Hollywood these days. While it's easy to see the fruits of his labor have finally paid off for him financially, it's refreshing to see a guy who earned his level of a lifestyle still continue to do what he knows how to do instead of become another pompous a-hole with a checkbook sitting around in white shorts and dock shoes smoking a damn cigar with a sweater draped over his shoulders. Instead of crying about how hard it is to work x days a week and be rich, the man encourages people to keep working despite success and the guy leads by example in my opinion.

He's funny because he's not afraid of being politically incorrect, but I doubt he sat down saying "How many topics can I talk about to sound politically incorrect." He's simply got the balls to publicly say what the few remaining real men in this world say only when they're inside their comfort zone, that is to their buddies. It's refreshing to see someone being honest by saying that he'd rather have been in the parking lot handing out cigars while his kids were being born, why white people with nothing else to worry about in life make up the majority of people who participate in fantasy sports, and why only a self entitled clown says they "rescued" a dog when they merely picked the cutest one out of the caged confines of the shelter.
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Format: Hardcover
50 years? Oh, that we had that long. Unlike most of these "reviewers" I've actually read this book and can honestly say Carolla writes with a jaunty combo of pith and panache that evokes the best of Hemingway, Mailer and Rickles. Makes a great ironic gift for your boss, if your boss is Gloria Allred.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As the title of my review suggests, this book is 3/5th awesome.

Why did I word it that way? Allow me to explain.

I didn't give the book three out of five stars because it was just "ok." Rather, I gave it three out of five stars because 3/5th of the book is outstanding and the rest is....filler.

The first half of the book made me laugh out loud regularly and want to stand up while saying "yes! Exactly!" His commentary is spot on and needs to be read by every wimpy, "progressive-minded" person out there. As well as all the chicks who want guys to be more sensitive. Oh and a whole host of politicians.

Where the book fails is in the obvious filler that exists in the second half of the book. It is very clear that he had half of a book's worth of material and the publishers said "hey, you need more stuff. So just look around your house for stuff to complain about."

The second half comes across exactly that way -- like a guy who just walked around his house and/or the grocery store and said "yeah, I don't like that. I'll rant about that for a page or so." Pizza? Pie? Do I really want to read Adam Carolla whine about why cake is inferior to pie but sells more? No.

In short, he does an excellent job of pointing out some of the absurdities in how our lives have become increasingly feminized and how men have, by and large, completely given up. And he does so while making the reader laugh regularly. That is, if the reader isn't a completely wimp-a-fied weenie already.

Had the book been cut in half, I would give it five stars.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
What happens when a comedian who is also a talk show host writes a book? The book ends up like a script for the stand up act or the radio show. This is what happens with this book written by Adam Carolla. The chapters are dedicated to one issue or subject. If you step back and look at the entire content of the book, these are subject or issues that might not have any link to each other. On the brighter side, there are jokes littered in every sentence and at times, there are many jokes in one sentence. We can heave a sigh of relief here as that is what we are primarily looking for in a book like this.

I have not seen any of the shows of Adam Carolla before. I have heard about the Man Show before. If you are familiar with Adam Carolla's work, then you might not be surprised with the content of the book. I was not familiar. But now I have a good idea about what his shows are about. Adam primarily tackles the American paranoia and fear in this book. He asks everyone to be think before acting instead of acting without thinking. For instance, why would a barman card a veteran? Doesn't he look old enough to order a drink? He points out to a time when things were not like this. All these started in the recent years. And if it is going to continue like this, then we'all be chicks in the next fifty years!

In a way, Adam Carolla is asking everyone to be sensitive and intuitive. The funny and ironic part being he is asking to be this in the most insensitive and politically incorrect way. It can be forgiven. After all, he is writing a book that would invoke laughter. Political incorrectness is the surefire way to make us all laugh. Airports, politicians and entertainment are a few of the subjects picked by Adam. Hidden beneath all the jokes, there is also stuff to think deeply.

As a book, this is an extension of a stand up act. I advise you to download Adam Carolla's podcast instead of reading this book.
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