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Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In Hardcover – Bargain Price, October 12, 2010
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From Publishers Weekly
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Perhaps no conflict is more problematic for more people than that between partners and spouses. In this practical handbook, Laurie Puhn offers sound and pithy advice for today's time-pressed couples on how to deal with their differences in a smart and kind manner. William Ury, Ph. D. co-founder Harvard's Program on Negotiation, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No
Ever been in one of those here-we-go-again arguments with your mate, wishing someone could step in to help you sort things out once and for all? That's where Laurie Puhn comes in. Written with humor and directness, her book will help you create the loving communication that you long for. Read it now before you're tempted to say, "honey, can we talk?" Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men
Top Customer Reviews
In Fight less, Love more, she identifies typical types of fights and provides discrete methods and scripts to defuse them. She also identifies character traits we can adopt ourselves and encourage in our partners to cultivate a healthier relationship, in addition to identifying common problems, also with solutions. She further illuminates her descriptions by providing examples or case studies drawn from her own life as well as from her practice.
I appreciate the depth of her understanding, and strategies for defusing roadblocks, nagging issues, as well as ways to prevent problems from arising in the future.
For each scenario she provides a "5 minute conversation" which addresses the issue gently but firmly. I got a lot out of reading this book, and for the most part, found it enjoyable to read.Read more ›
Puhn sprinkles in relationship case studies derived from her own life and practice. I found these case studies shockingly relatable.
I'm reminded constantly that my partner and I are not only, well, partners... but we are also roommates! We share a living space - it is the micro recurring spats that often result in communication breakdowns. Puhn's advice had remedied a lot of this in my relationship.
By the way, I bought Fight Less Love more after I watched Puhn's interview on Good Day NY. I was impressed with Puhn's sincerity and insight, both of which flow through to this book.
In "Fight Less, Love More," Laurie Puhn introduces the 5-minute conversation technique to help readers and their partners communicate effectively. Ms. Puhn, divides her book in three parts. In Part One, she establishes the conditions under which love thrives and lists the reasons (or excuses) that may prevent people from making the effort to work on healing their relationships. In Part Two, she addresses specific conditions that usually lead to conflict, such as rudeness, negative criticism, stubbornness, lack of appreciation and lack of confidentiality. She also shows the readers how to fight productively, meaning, both parties communicate their needs clearly, negotiate so that both are happy with the outcome, and still love and respect each other at the end of a fight. Finally, in Part Three, she encourages the readers to cultivate optimism since it'll bring about a Can-Do attitude and the commitment to work for the relationship.
"Fight Less, Love More" teaches good communication as a means to improve and nurture a loving relationship. Even though it deals with at least one big destructive issue, cheating, I like the fact that the emphasis is on the everyday irritants that can slowly corrode the relationship.Read more ›
So needless to say we sometimes dispensed with courtesy, consideration, and thoughtfullness. Bad moves.
This book provides an approach to re-establishing communication lines (even if one of you "doesn't want to play") and helping to foster the things necessary to rebuild and maintain a good relationship with your significant other.
Some of the messages and techniques seem obvious but I realized while reading the book that I'd forgotten them and bad habits had developed that were undermining my relationship with my wife. The book helps to set me back on track and think more about how I'm saying things and what it's going to sound like from her point of view.
The book takes a couple readings to really embed the concepts, and the approaches suggested take constant practice to first establish good habits, then to get the buy-in from your partner. Then every day one needs to take the time to stay connected, even if it is only a 5-minute connection. It makes a difference.
I'm glad I read this book and recommend it to anyone who has a relationship they treasure and want to keep healthy (or bring back to health).
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great insight, definitely worth the read for anyone looking to better the communication they have with a loved one.Published 1 month ago by nonscelus
Had to purchase it. I think it's going to change my life and relationship around for the best time to get busyPublished 9 months ago by chad b
A good read for two people that are in fairly stable relationship but have ridiculous fights over trivial things that blow up into mega storms. Read morePublished 11 months ago by jeremy
It was very easy ordering this book. My only disappointment is that you didn't have the work book that goes along with it.Published 15 months ago by Nedra Morton-Bey
Best book on resolving conflict I have ever read. In fact, best relationship advice I have ever received. Information that will empower one if accepted and used.Published 16 months ago by Lori A. Walker