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Greg Smalley

Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You to Deeper Levels of Intimacy Paperback – July 2, 2013

by Dr. Greg Smalley (Author)

4.7 143 ratings

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Based on years of counseling, research, and success stories, Dr. Greg Smalley teaches us how to use marital conflict as a way to deepen and strengthen our relationships.

In this counterintuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. When couples fight, they have the opportunity to get to the real issue that is lurking below the surface of fights about money, sex, in-laws, kids, etc. And that real issue, Dr. Smalley says, is fear—fear of rejection, inadequacy, or powerlessness, to name a few. What assuages these fears are things like intimacy, respect, validation, love, and connection. Learning to take advantage of the opportunity that conflict provides is what this book is all about.

The good news of Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage is that conflict—when handled correctly—is the doorway to intimacy and understanding. As Dr. Smalley leads readers through the many faces of conflict, he is open and candid about his own marriage and the unproductive fights he and his wife have had. He uses his fears and emotional triggers as examples to help readers discover their own.

Couples will learn how to fight their way to a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, and exercises shared in this remarkable book.

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Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Publication date

July 2, 2013
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.7 x 8.38 inches
ISBN-10

9781451669190
ISBN-13

978-1451669190
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Customer reviews

143 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the advice in the book informative, practical, and helpful. They describe the book as an easy read and concise.

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Advice Readability

12 customers mention "Advice"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the advice in the book very informative, practical, and helpful. They say it's a great tool to work through with their husbands. Readers also mention the study is fantastic and the book provides good and practical advice for any relationship.

"It's been a great tool to work through with my husband so far (we've only gotten through the first few chapters)...." Read more

"...This is now an updated model of his exceptional insights into the interactions that can destroy a marital relationship...." Read more

"Really enjoyed this book. Very practical and easy to read." Read more

"...to figure out what chapters to read with which lesson, but the study is FANTASTIC! started some great conversations." Read more

3 customers mention "Readability"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book concise and easy to understand.

"Really enjoyed this book. Very practical and easy to read." Read more

"Easy read, good advise, true to the relationship. Would order this book again and again and again for gifts for my family and friends...." Read more

"The book is concise and easily understood. Very practical advice not just for marriages but conflict resolution in general...." Read more

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DerrickS

Saved our Marriage...Must read!

Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2016

Verified Purchase

This book is a must read and quite possibly saved our marriage. However, learning this perspective on how to respond to conflict can be applied to more areas in your life than just your marriage. For my husband and I, it truly helped our marriage before even finishing the book. We both started out with so much anger, hurt, frustration, selfishness, pain and pretty much any negative mindset you could think of. We were extremely unhappy before starting the book and were desperately looking for something to help save our marriage. We lacked compassion, respect, sexual desire, emotional connection etc, yet rarely actually fought...just suffered in silence and withdrew from each other. As we read this book we could both feel our perspectives change and our hearts open and our love grow back(deeper than ever before). I honestly can say I went from being unable to find any good in my spouse to overflowing with feelings of respect, admiration, and love for him within days of starting the book. We are not deeply religious people and therefore didn't fully connect with all the religious references however we were still able to absorb the meaning of the content he was trying to get across. I could go on forever about how this book has changed our marriage and how we now respond to conflict. Responding instead of reacting has brought us closer together than ever before and helped us resolve many lingering painful issues. I highly recommend this book whether your marriage is struggling or not!

17 people found this helpful

Helpful

M. Miller

Great marriage help

Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2015

Verified Purchase

It's been a great tool to work through with my husband so far (we've only gotten through the first few chapters). We both ended up getting a copy of the book so we go through a chapter on our own and then discuss it together. We've had meaningful and insightful conversations that otherwise don't happen often. I can really relate to the author's stories and see how the concepts are being played out in my own marriage. I love the Bible-based approach. I can't wait to get through more of the book and apply it in our marriage. We really needed this book and I thank God we found it!

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Robert G

a new paradigm for your marriage

Reviewed in the United States on June 29, 2014

Verified Purchase

I have been a fan of his previous book, now out of print. The concept of the fear dance has explained many of the foolish fights I have had in my marriage. This is now an updated model of his exceptional insights into the interactions that can destroy a marital relationship. It is presented in a humorous, self deprecating manner that makes needed truths easier to hear. I highly recommend it to any 2 humans, who want to walk through life together( in spite of themselves).

9 people found this helpful

Helpful

MaxPower51

This book was pretty good. I prefer by Dustin Heiner

Reviewed in the United States on December 24, 2016

Verified Purchase

This book was pretty good. I prefer Lasting Marriage: Discovering God's Meaning and Purpose for Your Relationship by Dustin Heiner. It helps the reader to know and understand how the Lord created marriage to be a blessing and how to LIVE in the meaning and purpose of marriage.

Helpful

Tammy

Good book

Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2020

Verified Purchase

Really enjoyed this book. Very practical and easy to read.

Helpful

Micah

GREAT study

Reviewed in the United States on June 30, 2018

Verified Purchase

The video series doesn't exactly work alongside this book, as it is a little hard to figure out what chapters to read with which lesson, but the study is FANTASTIC! started some great conversations.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

Johnny Miller

Fantastic Book

Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2013

Verified Purchase

I had heard Dr. Smalley and his wife speak on a Focus on the Family episode about this book, and so I decided to purchase it. Although my girlfriend and I are not married yet, the principles in this book have really helped us learn what type of fighters we are and how we can better understand one another. This will definitely be a book we refer back to often as we continue our life together.

Helpful

Ekcodleb

Up To Date

Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2014

Verified Purchase

I have read several books about marriage and seen more than one marriage therapist, but this book really has the practical steps that get to the root of the marriage issues... ourselves, not our spouse. This book is not for the faint at heart and will take Godly character to face the reality in the marriage.

4 people found this helpful

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