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A New York Times Bestseller
In this spellbinding exploration of the varieties of love, the author of the worldwide bestseller Call Me by Your Name revisits its complex and beguiling characters decades after their first meeting.
No novel in recent memory has spoken more movingly to contemporary readers about the nature of love than André Aciman’s haunting Call Me by Your Name. First published in 2007, it was hailed as “a love letter, an invocation . . . an exceptionally beautiful book” (Stacey D’Erasmo, The New York Times Book Review). Nearly three quarters of a million copies have been sold, and the book became a much-loved, Academy Award–winning film starring Timothée Chalamet as the young Elio and Armie Hammer as Oliver, the graduate student with whom he falls in love.
In Find Me, Aciman shows us Elio’s father, Samuel, on a trip from Florence to Rome to visit Elio, who has become a gifted classical pianist. A chance encounter on the train with a beautiful young woman upends Sami’s plans and changes his life forever.
Elio soon moves to Paris, where he, too, has a consequential affair, while Oliver, now a New England college professor with a family, suddenly finds himself contemplating a return trip across the Atlantic.
Aciman is a master of sensibility, of the intimate details and the emotional nuances that are the substance of passion. Find Me brings us back inside the magic circle of one of our greatest contemporary romances to ask if, in fact, true love ever dies.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFarrar, Straus and Giroux
- Publication dateOctober 29, 2019
- File size5230 KB
“It’s just that the magic of someone new never lasts long enough. We only want those we can’t have. It’s those we lost or who never knew we existed who leave their mark. The others barely echo.”Highlighted by 1,219 Kindle readers
“Aren’t those the absolute worst scenarios: the things that might have happened but never did and might still happen though we’ve given up hoping they could.”Highlighted by 1,061 Kindle readers
“Love is easy,” I said. “It’s the courage to love and to trust that matters, and not all of us have both.Highlighted by 792 Kindle readers
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Review
Named an Goodreads, TIME and Vogue Best Book of 2019
Named one of the most anticipated Fall books by ABC News Online, Associated Press, Bustle, Buzzfeed, Canadian Broadcast Corporation, Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Goodreads, Huffington Post, Hypable, Lit Hub, Marie Claire, Medium, The Millions, NewNowNext, New York Magazine, Nylon, NY Post, Observer, Oprah.com, Parade, Philadelphia Inquirer, Publishers Weekly, Thrillist, TIME, The Times (UK), Town & Country, Washington Blade, Washington Post, Woman’s Day, Yahoo, Vogue, Vox, Vulture, USA Today
"Dazzling" ―Parul Sehgal of The New York Times Book Review at the 92nd St Y
"Aciman’s quiet, label-free presentation of bisexual life represents a minor triumph . . . Likewise, his refusal to offer easy resolution, which infuses the whole romantic enterprise with a kind of delicious melancholy. There are moments, particularly in the final chapter, that may have readers gazing tearfully into their fireplaces, real or imaginary, just like Timothée Chalamet at the end of Luca Guadagnino’s superlative film of 'Call Me by Your Name.'" ―Charles Arrowsmith, The Washington Post
“[Find Me] is a lyrical meditation on being forced to move to another location after the party’s over, on the Sisyphean task of trying to replicate the magic of young passion . . . it strikes an affectingly melancholy chord.” ―Josh Duboff, The New York Times Book Review
"You don’t have to have read Call Me by Your Name, Aciman’s 2007 bestselling novel turned Oscar-nominated movie, to immediately fall in love with this sexy, melancholic follow-up. It stands entirely separate, yet connected, a beautiful ode to the passage of time, to the lasting power of true love and the ache of loneliness . . . the revelations about who these characters have become unraveling slowly like a gorgeous piece of classical music." ―Buzzfeed
“Call Me By Your Name was widely praised for its treatment of the nature of love, a theme that Find Me continues with subtlety and grace. Its treatment of the characters’ psychology is astute and insightful, but what will ultimately drive reader interest is the question of whether star-crossed lovers Elio and Oliver will reunite. One can only hope.” ―Booklist(Starred Review)
"Love in all its sublime iterations is at the heart of Aciman’s incandescent sequel to the acclaimed Call Me by Your Name . . . Aciman gifts readers with a beautiful 21st-century romance that reflects on the remembrance of things past and the courage to embrace the future. ―Library Journal(Starred Review)
“With all of the richly painted details, emotional nuance, and deeply affecting romance as the first installment, this book will draw you in and make you believe in love again.” ―Good Housekeeping
“Aciman writes about desire with blunt honesty, describing erotic and emotional interactions with equal clarity. Sex can be tender or not, the connection lasting or ephemeral, but it is almost always multilayered and complex.” ―Clea Simon,Boston Globe
“The sequel is just as maddeningly seductive as the original.”―ELLE
“Elegant . . . Elio is the heart of the novel, as its core themes―including fatherhood, music, the nature of time and fate, the weight and promise of the past―are infused with eroticism, nostalgia and tenderness in fluid prose. The novel again demonstrates Aciman’s capacity to fuse the sensual and the cerebral in stories that touch the heart.” ―Publishers Weekly
“[Find Me] is touching without being sentimental . . . An elegant, memorable story of enduring love across the generations.” ―Kirkus Reviews
“Soulful”―People Magazine
“The focus of Find Me is the unlived life, the real life that comes to a standstill . . . Aciman's clever arrangement takes advantage of the frustrated desire of the reader to see Elio and Oliver reunited . . . Far more ambitious than Call Me by Your Name . . . great care has gone into the artistic shaping of this narrative.”―Anne Serre, The Times Literary Supplement
"A structural marvel . . . proves itself indispensable to longtime readers and newcomers alike."―Garrett Biggs, The Chicago Review of Books
"Find Me is a sensual delight . . . Throughout his nonfiction and fiction, Aciman has maintained a profound preoccupation with memory and the responsibility of history. An aching sense of vulnerability and fearlessness drives this book past any question of whether or not a sequel was warranted." ―Lauren LeBlanc,Observer
“Find Me is written in the same spiraling prose . . . full of grace, with some sentences approaching page length―that Call Me by Your Name was. I devoured the novel quickly, and on rereading have found myself unable to break away from Aciman’s hypnotic rhythms.”―Spencer Kornhaber, The Atlantic
“I’m relishing this indulgent sequel―sex, sculptures, food, villas: everything a person could want from a novel or from life.” ―Richie Hoffman, Poetry Foundation
“Exquisite”―Kate Erbland, IndieWire
"Aciman had his work cut out for himself in crafting a sequel as contemplative and gorgeous as Call Me by Your Name, which ended in its own coda of Elio's and Oliver's paths crossing years and years hence. Threading that needle perfectly, Aciman continues his story, parsing its very structure in his erudite, knowing style . . . Aciman's genius holds true and makes Find Me a splendid work in its own right." ―Dave Wheeler, Shelf Awareness (Starred Review)
“Stubbornly unsentimental, but nevertheless beautiful . . . Find Me is, at heart, a meditation on how love bends and warps over time, but never quite disappears.”―Kristin Iversen, Nylon
"This [book] functioned like a medical-grade SAD lamp in the dead of February. It is a lively novel about sentimental Americans in Italy who feel a wider range of emotions in seven minutes than most people do in a month." ―Molly Young, Vulture
“A devastatingly honest reflection on the authenticity of love and life . . . Find Me is a truly remarkable achievement of love beyond the honeymoon teenage years.”― Tomás Guerrero Jaramillo, Harvard Crimson
About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : B07Q6TLW9R
- Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux (October 29, 2019)
- Publication date : October 29, 2019
- Language : English
- File size : 5230 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 273 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #101,745 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #72 in LGBTQ+ Literary Fiction (Kindle Store)
- #116 in LGBTQ+ Literary Fiction (Books)
- #688 in Gay & Lesbian
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

André Aciman is an American memoirist, essayist, and New York Times bestselling novelist originally from Alexandria, Egypt. He has also written many essays and reviews on Marcel Proust. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Review of Books, The New York Times, The New Republic, Condé Nast Traveler, The Paris Review, Granta as well as in many volumes of The Best American Essays.
Aciman grew up in a multilingual and multinational family and attended English-language schools, first in Alexandria and later, after his family moved to Italy in 1965, in Rome. In 1968, Aciman's family moved again, this time to New York City, where he graduated in 1973 from Lehman College. Aciman received his Ph.D. in Comparative Literature from Harvard University and, after teaching at Princeton University and Bard College, is Distinguished Professor of Comparative Literature at The Graduate Center of The City University of New York. He is currently chair of the Ph. D. Program in Comparative Literature and founder and director of The Writers' Institute at the Graduate Center. He has also taught creative writing at New York University, Cooper Union, and and Yeshiva University. In 2009, Aciman was also Visiting Distinguished Writer at Wesleyan University.
Aciman is the author of the Whiting Award-winning memoir Out of Egypt (1995), an account of his childhood as a Jew growing up in post-colonial Egypt. His books and essays have been translated in many languages. In addition to Out of Egypt (1995), Aciman has published False Papers: Essays in Exile and Memory (2001) and Alibis: Essays on Elswhere (2011), and four novels, Enigma Variations (2017), Harvard Square (2013), Eight White Nights (2010) and Call Me By Your Name (2007), for which he won the Lambda Literary Award for Men's Fiction (2008). He also edited Letters of Transit (1999) and The Proust Project (2004) and prefaced Monsieur Proust (2003), The Light of New York (2007), Condé Nast Traveler's Room With a View (2010) and Stefan Zweig's Journey to the Past (2010). His novel Call Me by Your Name has been turned into a film (2017), directed by Luca Guadagnino, with a screenplay by James Ivory, and starring Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet.
He is currently working on his fifth novel and a collection of essays.
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Though I liked the CMBYN movie very much, IMHO the book is much better. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and read it. There is so much more going on in the book that is not at all obvious in the movie. As I did, you might then want to watch the movie again. You will have a much deeper appreciation of some of the dialogue, much of which is lifted right out of the book. For example, when Oliver asks Elio what he’s thinking about and Elio answers “It’s private” or “It’s personal”, the book tells you in detail what those thoughts are. Also, the book ends 20 years after Oliver leaves Italy.
As a sequel to CMBYN, Find Me disappointed me, and my rating is based on this disappointment. Admittedly, given the way the original book ended, writing a satisfying sequel was always going to be a challenge. Nevertheless, Find Me is billed as a sequel. Whether it reads well as a standalone novel will have to be evaluated by other reviewers.
***** SPOILERS THROUGHOUT
First, it seems a common misconception by many reviewers that the first-person narrator of CMBYN was the 17-year-old Elio. No. It was the 37-year-old Elio recalling his thoughts and feelings and events of 20 years earlier, 5 years earlier, and finally the recent past. That’s why writing a sequel was always going to be hard. The original book had already set in stone that Oliver and Elio had little communication for 15 years after Oliver left Italy.
The final chapters of CMBYN and Find Me both occur in the recent past (from the 37-year-old Elio’s perspective). In this way, CMBYN and Find Me fit together in an interesting way, where CMBYN fits into Find Me’s larger skeleton, if you will. CMBYN fleshes out parts of that skeleton in terms of one character’s experiences in passionate, nostalgic detail. It’s sort of like CMBYN is one installment in a larger series (like the original Star Wars movie). The problem with Find Me is that, while it attempts to flesh out other parts of the skeleton in detail, it covers the eventual reuniting of Oliver and Elio so briefly and with such broad strokes that it is ultimately unsatisfying.
One can imagine CMBYN as the story of Elio’s experience from long ago events, which Elio wants to tell Oliver when they finally reunite in the final chapter of Find Me. (In other words, insert CMBYN in the final chapter of Find Me as a story that Elio wants to tell Oliver.) But the problem is that, as he states in Find Me, Oliver doesn’t want to revisit the past. Huh? What a missed opportunity. We readers are desperate to hear Oliver’s side of the story, in passionate and nostalgic detail, and we want to reconnect with the passion and nostalgia of CMBYN. Having Oliver and Elio discuss the past would have been a perfect opportunity for Oliver to share his side of the story.
But Find Me disappoints. Instead of a passionate and nostalgic development of Oliver’s story, Find Me gives us other stories about relationships that are like parables of the story of Oliver’s and Elio’s relationship. We get three, separate first-person narrators, each telling his own story, but in the same, rather dispassionate, voice. It’s hard to tell these narrators apart from one another in terms of personality, tone and style. They all sound the same. They are: Elio’s father, Elio, and Oliver. Elio’s father’s story is the longest and sets the stage for the remainder of the book, introducing various themes.
Time (with a capital T) is a recurring theme in Find Me. Parallel Lives is also a theme (though I can’t recall whether it was carried forward from CMBYN). In Find Me, both Elio and his father narrate their own interesting stories that elucidate these themes, but Oliver’s story (chapter 3) is too brief and underdeveloped. If Find Me has any of the passion and nostalgia of CMBYN, it is provided by Oliver in the chapter he narrates, but much too briefly. Age Gap Relationships is also a theme, but do we really want to imagine the sex scenes between the 31-year-old Elio and a 60-year-old man? Or Elio’s father with a woman half his age? One reviewer even called it “gross”. Find Me puts more time and effort into describing such sex scenes than it does describing the sex between Elio and Oliver upon reuniting. What a disappointment. It’s almost as if Elio’s and Oliver’s reuniting is an afterthought.
WHAT I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED
CMBYN leaves us with unanswered questions, especially around Oliver’s thoughts and feelings. Especially in the 80’s, one can rather easily imagine that he might choose to lead a straight life despite having had this intense relationship with a man. Maybe he viewed it as just a fling. On the other hand, maybe he viewed it as so special that it couldn’t possibly be recreated. Maybe he viewed Elio as too young, which certainly would have been reasonable. Had he had relationships with men before Elio? Who was the girlfriend who eventually became his wife? Maybe he struggled over his sexual orientation. Maybe he was in denial about his feelings for Elio. Maybe he told his wife about Elio. Maybe he had other flings with other guys. But we don’t know. We are left to wonder. I would have loved Find Me to address these questions. Given his writing talents, I feel little doubt that Aciman could have done so without lapsing into clichés or common tropes and without labeling Oliver’s orientation.
Another big question around Oliver is: what was it about Elio that he found attractive? We never find out. We know a lot about Elio’s attraction to Oliver from CMBYN, but why Oliver feels attracted to Elio remains largely a mystery. Are we to assume that Oliver viewed Elio simply as a toy boy to be played with and abandoned? Find Me could have put such a theory to rest or, alternatively, maybe Oliver had viewed Elio that way at first and maybe it took years for him to realize that there was something deeper going on. But we don’t know. So many possibilities.
CMBYN contains a chapter that I call a “dream sequence”, namely the somewhat fantastical third chapter where Oliver takes Elio to a poetry reading in Rome and they end up spending the evening with the crowd, going out to dinner with them where the poet gives a soliloquy about love. One possible storyline that I think could have been a really satisfying sequel to CMBYN would have been the development of a dream-like fantastical Parallel Life where Elio and Oliver maintain a relationship after Oliver leaves Italy. They could write letters back and forth and see each other while Elio is attending college in the States and see where things go from there. Aciman could do a fantastic job with such a premise, and keep the passion and nostalgia of CMBYN alive (while also depicting a parallel universe where Oliver and Elio don’t communicate at all). Perhaps a subject for fanfic if Aciman isn’t going to do it.
What Aciman does give us in the way of bringing Elio and Oliver back together in Find Me is absolutely unsatisfying. Essentially, one day Oliver decides that his marriage is over and he wants to go back to Italy and see Elio again after 20 years of little communication. And boom, they are back together. That’s it. So the only thing keeping them apart was Time (with a capital T), because Oliver’s marriage was destined to fail and Elio was waiting all these years for Oliver to “find me”. Even if that’s believable, it’s questionable whether it’s a story worth telling. It’s hard to imagine a movie sequel emanating from this book.
I... don’t know what to say. I didn’t think this would ever happen. I am pained. This is, without doubt, one of the most disappointing literary moments of my life.
Where do I begin?
Aciman retconned a lot of the bulk story from Call Me By Your Name. Some events/relationships/characterizations were changed for the better, and others for the worse. The fan service is there, but it’s so inconsequential; too little, too late.
First and foremost, let me tell you from the start how many pages are devoted to Elio x Oliver: 11 !!!! That’s right, less than a dozen pages of Elio and Oliver together. 11 out of 260. This, my friends, is a crying shame! And to you, André Aciman... it is unforgivable.
Now, the book is chopped up into four parts. Let’s begin with the first section, Samuel Pearlman (Elio’s 50’s-60ish years old father): his story, which makes up more than a quarter of the book, was pointless— a narrative flop. I mean, the whole ‘older man and the younger woman’ midlife crisis trope has been done to death! I didn’t find the romance endearing, believable, or necessary. “Definitely an older man’s fantasy” Mr. Pearlman thinks at one point. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. There were many moments in which you could tell Mr. Aciman was outright trying to convince the reader that this woman was Samuel’s soulmate. It seemed as though the author was trying to push this new relationship down our throats until we either accepted it or choked to death. In other words: forced. The idea that these two would meet so randomly, and in that same day ***less than twelves hours*** become so enamored with one another, to the point of making love, having conversations of moving in together, getting matching tattoos, and having children... I find it highly IMPLAUSIBLE! In truth, Samuel and Miranda’s whirlwind “romance” sounded like severe mania to me, and it made ME feel manic! I can’t describe it, but I know what it’s like.
At one point, Samuel reflects on a past love-lost, wherein he and another woman were both in relationships, but got together anyways. André Aciman did much the same thing in his Enigma Variations, too— Making cheating on your significant other an almost inconsequential/innocent act. Frankly, I find it contemptible. If you’re that nonchalant and nonplussed about infidelity, then you’re someone I don’t want to know. So, this put me off Elio’s father instantly in this book, whereas in Call Me By Your Name I had been such a huge fan. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not sure I always agree wholeheartedly with monogamy— polyamory and open relationships are interesting, and I won’t judge or shame... as long as it’s all out in the open. I value honesty and openness in my life, and I want the same from the characters I read. André Aciman just happens to populate his novels with sexually loose characters—everyone is sleeping with everyone or having affairs— as well as characters who are quite free with their feelings, and give in to love very quickly.
Even so, after all this, the woman on the train (Miranda) sounded much more like MY soulmate than anything. One thing she said really hit close to home: “I can’t stand being by myself yet I can’t wait to be alone.” How she much prefers to talk to strangers and chat with everyone around her, rather than those closest to her... I mean, That is me to a T! Her views align with my views on relationships and “love”.
But that doesn’t make the opening section with Samuel any less unbearable. I found them all a little bit too pretentious; everyone talking in paradoxical, overtly-intellectualized, and contradictory ways. At least, I don’t know of anyone spending entire days ruminating on the depths of love, relationships, and personal/deeply-earnest reflections on the mysteries of life. No one really speaks like this ALL THE TIME.
The novel meanders along at an uncomfortably dull pace with Samuel & Miranda, until FINALLY ... 249 pages* in getting to what most (if not ALL) the readers of this sequel came for: Elio & Oliver. *Page 107. That’s when Elio first comes into the picture. Over 100 pages of a 260 page book until we get our first glimpse of him. Mr. Aciman, dear Sir, may I ask WHAT THE ****?!? And then it’s practically the same meaningless conversations as with Samuel and Miranda: Elio meets a much older man (25-30 years older!), and again we have to listen to the author hammer home more, “I’m half your age” blah blah blah “I’m too old for you” blah blah blah “You should be with someone your own age” blah blah blah. I can't seem to grasp the significance of including large age gaps between the romantic pairings in this book. Is this because of the criticisms to Elio and Oliver in the first book? Because that age gap was seven years, not 30!!! I hope I don’t sound ageist here— I think we have no control over who we fall in love with, age, race, religion, etc etc be darned! I simply find it... weird that we’re more than halfway through the book, and the only substantial takeaway I have is that Miranda and Elio don’t mind older men. That’s it. And maybe some various, muddled themes of regret and longing for the past. This is not the book I came for. This is not the story I’ve been waiting 10+ months for.
The characterization of Elio as a 32-year-old man is strikingly unchanged from the 17-year-old we met in Call Me By Your Name, albeit more morose/resigned/withdrawn. If we weren’t told he was an adult, I don’t think I would have been able to tell the difference. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Here’s the thing: There is a lot going on in this book. The themes that run through, I find, are ones of: remembrance and regret, missed chances, how time changes us, does love fade over time?, and the longing associated with love lost (and found). But that’s beside everything else we had to trudge through in this book, to arrive at what every reader I know who loved these characters had been waiting for: Elio and Oliver coming back together again. Let me just reiterate the fact that we receive almost NOTHING of import between the two.
To everyone I’ve been championing this book to since its existence was announced last December: I am sorry. I am sorry for hoping for something extraordinary, and hyping it up to the point of being high, high, high off the ground in giddy anticipation, only to be dropped like a stone into a freefall of disappointment. This book is essentially 260 pages of being slapped in the face for wanting more to begin with. And I’m angry. And I’m upset.
Fin.
Top reviews from other countries
“Find Me” arrived at my doorstep yesterday morning, and I started to read it around mid-afternoon. Finished it in the early hours of today because I refused to put it down until I found out what happened to Oliver and Elio. That is all to “Call Me By Your Name”’s credit, though, not “Find Me”’s.
This is a very different book from “Call Me By Your Name” - which I did not experience in book format but instead had the pleasure of hearing it through the lovely audiobook version read by Armie Hammer (who masterfully portrayed Oliver in the movie adaptation from 2017).
I promise not to go into a review of that first book or the movie here, but I feel it’s relevant to share that I think the film is a real step up and has, in my opinion (and to the credit of all involved including the director, cinematographer, actors and wonderful soundtrack), elevated this coming of age love story to what I would consider to be one of the most unforgettable movies I have had the pleasure to watch - I get lost in it every time I watch it, and the nostalgic feeling of what I did not live but watched stays in me for days on end.
The original book is good too, but I felt that the movie actually gave us a more grown up, less neurotic version of what was going on between those two. To be fair, the book’s narrator is an adolescent and the way it was written mirrors that, so I cannot fault the writer, as the stylistic choice makes sense in this case. We must never forget we owe this beautiful piece of fiction to André Aciman.
Now, I regret to say that both the writing and storytelling on this second instalment disappointed me. To put it simply, this book feels rushed and it’s a real departure from the mood the first book invoked.
Whereas in the first book the reader gets to experience Elio’s coming of age, his path to accepting and declaring his love for Oliver and everything else that happens in consequence of that, in the second book everything is so rushed it’s practically impossible to believe in any of the stories and new characters the book goes on and on about.
If there was any doubt that Aciman knows how to capture the reader’s interest without having to dedicate entire pages to a single character, we need only think of Vimini from the first book. She was so lifelike and likeable, and yet had such a small amount of time dedicated to her in the original book. The two new main characters <spoiler>(Miranda and Michel)</spoiler> introduced in “Find Me” pale in comparison and are partly why this book feels so rushed and inconsequential.
The book disappointed me in many ways, <spoiler>but where I feel it really dropped the ball was in the decision to defer Oliver’s and Elio’s story to the end of the book and disappointingly summarise and cram the moment I (and I’m guessing most of the returning readers) had been most looking forward to into just a few dispassionate paragraphs. That last chapter is almost an after thought, just something thrown in there to justify the remaining 90% of the book.</spoiler> But more on that later.
“Call Me By Your Name” owes its supernatural emotional impact from the possibility of the reader watching it all play out through Elio’s eyes, the anxiety and torment he went through until he finally told Oliver how he felt. The apparent rejection and mixed feelings that resulted from that. It’s all relatable, interesting. The reader is behind him, wanting so bad for it to work, while also knowing the world was a different place then and also that they were running out of time. All of this created conflict, drama - drama being the keyword and what we read books like this for.
In “Find Me” there’s simply no time or concern for any of that. <spoiler>The new relationships you read about all happen so quickly and everyone’s so readily “in love”, it’s all so instant and uncomplicated, so unromantic. This would be fine (I guess?) were this not a sequel to CMBYN.</spoiler> There is an attempt to touch on the idea that one really only remembers those that got away - the idea is good, but again, it isn’t executed well, and I was left wanting to skip through a lot of the first two chapters (did my best not to) which were a big part of the book.
—
“Find Me” is split into four unevenly sized chapters, with two of them being narrated by Elio (like in the first book), while the other two have different narrators (Samuel and Oliver).
The first half of the book (yes, the entire first half) is told through the eyes and words of Samuel - Elio’s understanding and inspiring father. <spoiler>He is on a train travelling to Rome, to meet with Elio who is working there as a music teacher and musician. He meets young, model-looking Miranda in the train. The initial interaction between Samuel and Miranda reads well, she seems interesting. Their exchange gets deep very quickly and it’s clear there is a connection forming between the two, despite the age difference. During this exchange Elio calls and cancels last minute, adjourning their meet-up to the following day. Miranda and Samuel decide to take a cab together to the city. She’s visiting her dad, who coincidentally lives close to Samuel’s hotel.</spoiler> It’s all downhill from here.
I will not go into details, but this first half of the book gets really weird really fast, and it’s unfortunately not the only time this happens. <spoiler>As previously mentioned, I personally found Miranda really interesting in the beginning but then she started acting unhinged yet no one acknowledged it - not her father, nor Samuel who also started to act so different from the college professor we knew in the first book. It read like almost like a fever dream.</spoiler>
During this chapter we also finally find out more about the experience Samuel lightly mentioned to Elio during the lovely chat at the end of the first book, after Oliver leaves. It’s… not what I expected, and I was a bit disappointed to be honest. <spoiler>Here we unknowingly get a bit of a hint of something that is also alluded to at the end of this book between Oliver and Elio - not the only time the writer will simulate a pattern that repeats down the line - but again, more on that later.</spoiler>
After Samuel’s chapter was finally over, I was excited - it was finally time to get back inside Elio’s mind. I’m sad to say it did not improve, and I actually found myself skimming through some of the story. <spoiler>About halfway it suddenly became an episode of “Cold Case”. This relationship with an older man was so pointless and one-dimensional, he acted really weird too - another non-believable character. At the end of this chapter we’re brought back to one of the final moments from the original book, Elio tells his new love interest he will be visiting someone he has not seen in a long time - Oliver.</spoiler>
Oliver’s chapter comes next and I must say it’s probably the best one out of the whole book. That’s unfortunately not saying a lot, but it’s entertaining and Oliver continues to be adorable as always.
<spoiler>Despite the fact that the Oliver we’re shown isn’t exactly the young Oliver we had in CMBYN, it’s believable that Oliver could have changed in the way he reveals himself - it’s also the first time we get to listen in on his thoughts. Elio’s an unreliable narrator in the first book, because you’re inclined to see Oliver as a ladies’ man, or at least someone very actively sexual, but in the end you understand that was Elio mostly projecting. That continues in this book, it’s clear who has had the most experience - Oliver continues to value being good above doing what he would like more than anything to do, Elio is freer in that sense. Oliver fantasises about other people he finds attractive, but unlike Elio, he doesn’t have the courage to openly make a move - which would’ve also been the case in the first book had Elio not revealed his interest.</spoiler>
I won’t spoil the ending, but the last (small) chapter has us back inside Elio’s mind. We’re cheated out of key moments - instead we’re immediately described an aftermath. I think it would be interesting to know what the author’s intention with this decision was. Having said that, and to be fair, this is actually coherent with the rest of the book, almost like Aciman is simply acknowledging something, instead of telling it, instead of making the reader suffer for it (a different, more pleasurable suffering than that of having to sit through pages and pages of pointless characters). <spoiler>I wanted to know how Elio felt seeing Oliver again, I would’ve loved to read what Oliver felt, his perspective. I wanted to know what their reactions were, the silences, the expressions, what they told each other. I wanted to feel the anticipation, the doubt. Instead we’re told this and that and let’s not forget Oliver is old and feels old (he’s only 45!). Overall not enough for a sequel and wrap up of the first book. Not enough to wrap up such an iconic, brilliant fictional love story so many have lost sleep over.</spoiler>
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Structure wise, as a whole, there’s a noticeable attempt to create some relationship patterns, across different characters, which in itself wouldn’t be a bad idea but it’s simply not done well - it feels contrived and it’s made worse because the book is written in a way where it tries to be profound but fails at it every time.
Aciman begins to explore some interesting ideas on how some life experiences, namely relationships, can make you jaded and how it’s so common for people to give up so early in life and conform, how expectations can sometimes defraud reality, but it all ends up sounding phony because it doesn’t really go anywhere. This was done so much better during Samuel’s speech with his son at the end of the first book.
Another thing I noticed and kind of spoiled it for me was some mannerisms and personality characteristics of some established characters from the first book were used by new ones in the second book - this may have been an attempt at creating mirroring or connection between characters, past and present, but it didn’t have that effect, in my opinion - it made it worse. It’s so important to have specific character traits and quirks attributed to each character, and it sometimes felt like all characters shared the same personality, making them bland.
There was still so much that could’ve been written about Elio and Oliver. So many moments we could’ve had some more insight into - those meetings both had every few years, Oliver’s marriage, Oliver’s children, etc., so much more could’ve been done with their story.
It feels like the author was no longer interested in writing about Elio and Oliver, so he wrote about everything else he could think of, except for them. So why do it then?
Coming to the book. It is a charming read but don't take it in the wrong way. Fans of Call Me By Your Name know what charming means in Aciman's world. It is slow burn melancholy. The story of Elio and Oliver unravels in four parts starting with a similar budding romance between Elio's father and woman he met on train, Miranda. The book fixates on the theme of love between old-aged and the youth, the time that can't be unwound and the lives unlived. Inspite of some incredible passages which might be life changing and profoundly impactful, the book fails to create a lasting effect on readers as it's predecessor did. The fans of cmbyn will love it for sure though
Written from different perspectives, this book also talks about love in the same way the last one did. A good read for anyone who fell in love with Call Me By Your Name and doesn't know how to get ove it yet :)






