First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life Paperback – June 2, 2015
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"Laura Doyle truly understands how the modern marriage works. Her modern approaches are eye-opening and marriage-saving!"
John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"Laura Doyle does it again with First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors, and this time, she’s not alone. The anecdotes from other women underline her lesson: women hold the key to improving our marriages."
Fawn Weaver, New York Times bestselling author of The Happy Wives Club
About the Author
She is the founder of Laura Doyle Connect, a multi-national company that provides relationship coaching and programs for single women, girlfriends, and wives all over the world. She has appeared on CBS Evening News, Dateline NBC, The Today Show and The View. Articles about Laura have appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, The London Telegraph and The New Yorker. She is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post.
Laura lives in Newport Beach, California, with her hilarious husband John Doyle, who has been dressing himself since before she was born.
- Publisher : BenBella Books (June 2, 2015)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 248 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1940363861
- ISBN-13 : 978-1940363868
- Item Weight : 10.5 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.25 x 0.75 x 9 inches
- Customer Reviews:
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I've been married to my second husband for 2 1/2 very rocky years. We were both totally love struck while we dated. As soon as we got married, major problems began. Fighting, yelling, passive aggressiveness, selfishness, bitterness, resentment, insults... I could go on and on, but chances are if you're reading this you have a similar list. I've questioned where my sweet, thoughtful, attentive man went. Where's the guy I dated?!? Does he not love me? Did he ever??
We tried marriage counseling and that didn't help. We read Love Languages, Venus/Mars, and several other of the most popular relationship books that had glowing reviews. Still no lasting improvement. Every day felt like a struggle. We were both exhausted, cranky, and I was getting depressed. There was lots of crying and contemplating divorce. I believed we had tried everything and that my husband simply would never treat me the way he had in the beginning.
I'm not certain how I stumbled across First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors (although the catchy title did stand out), but I began to read the reviews. I will admit to scoffing at most of them. I was especially incredulous when I read the woman's review saying the book had greatly improved her marriage in one day... One day??! I wondered if the author had 30 of her friends to write up fake positive reviews.
But I ordered the Kindle version on a curious whim. I had nothing left to lose but a miserable marriage and a jerk of a husband after all. Or so I thought. Throughout the entire first chapter, I actually laughed out loud and exclaimed, "This is bull$***," several times. Why is this author so excited to impart her "wisdom?" What kind of scam IS this? What she says is possible is just. not. possible. for my relationship. So let's say I was a bit skeptical :)
Let me now assure you I'm a real person, with real kids, real laundry, real insecurities, real problems, and real emotions. Because you lovely, lovely women reading this may roll your eyes so hard you can see your brain stem when I get this next statement out...
I had only read the first two skills the author writes about when I decided to experiment on my husband, who by the way is out of town so we were only talking via phone, and it worked. IT WORKED. Within five minutes of me following the book's suggestions (remember, I'm not even halfway through), I heard a tenderness in my husband's voice I haven't heard in months and months. I wondered if that was wishful thinking on my part. Nope! After we got off the phone, my husband sent a text to say he misses me. Whaaaa???? Misses me?? He misses me! If your relationship is in the poor condition mine has been in, you know that was momentous. Ahhhh, he misses me!
Please do not interpret my review to mean the necessary changes will instantly "feel natural." You may have to white knuckle it for a bit, but... If you're like me, you've been white knuckling your relationship for a while so you can totally do it. The skills are simple. They are actually enjoyable. They make more sense than anything I've ever heard or read about marriage. Oh! And here's a plus: Your husband doesn't have to read it for it to be effective :)
I think this is a fabulously empowering book for women with husbands/boyfriends who wonder why their men are irritable, uncaring, selfish, lazy, inattentive, and angry. "Why won't my husband stop looking at his phone and pay attention to me??" You CAN transform yourself and your relationship.
P.S. To the wife who left the review saying her marriage improved in one day: I'm sorry I doubted you! Congrats and may you live happily ever after :)
My verbally abusive ex-husband gave me this book during the last throes of our marriage. I was trying to repair the marriage and had asked that we see a marriage counselor, which he dropped after a few sessions. In reply to my efforts to address his pattern of control and abuse, he offered this book as his attempt to "fix" our deteriorating marriage.
There is a passage in the latter half of the book which actually states that verbal abuse is NOT a reason for separation. I was astonished to read such a comment in a book. For me, that sentence takes away any value of this book. There are women out there who might stumble upon this line and think they should "stick it out" through the verbal abuse of their spouse, not knowing that the only option is to get out; that the more they try to repair the marriage, the deeper they will sink into destruction.
This is a very dangerous line. Be careful of this if you think you may be in an abusive marriage. It doesn't need to be physical to be abuse.
Reading this book and practicing what it says are a much better use of your time and money than seeing a counselor in my opinion.