Focusing: How to Open Up Your Deeper Feelings and Intuition Kindle Edition
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"A superb manual for self-managed therapy. . .a tool beyond price."—Brain-Mind Bulletin --This text refers to the paperback edition.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Inner Act
At the University of Chicago and elsewhere in the past fifteen years, a group of colleagues and I have been studying some questions that most psychotherapists don't like to ask out loud. Why doesn't therapy succeed more often? Why does it so often fail to make a real difference in people's lives? In the rarer cases when it does succeed, what is it that those patients and therapists do? What is it that the majority fail to do?
Seeking answers, we studied many forms of therapy from classical approaches to recent ones. We analyzed literally thousands of therapist-patient sessions recorded on tape. Our series of studies had led to several findings, some very different from what we and most other professional therapists expected.
First, we found that the successful patient—the one who shows real and tangible change on psychological tests and in life—can be picked out fairly easily from recorded therapy sessions. What these rare patients do in their therapy hours is different from the others. The difference is so easy to spot that, once we had defined it, we were able to explain it to inexperienced young undergraduates, and they too were able to sort out the successful patients from the others.
What is this crucial difference? We found that it is not the therapist's technique—differences in methods of therapy seem to mean surprisingly little. Nor does the difference lie in what the patients talk about. The difference is in how they talk. And that is only an outward sign of the real difference: what the successful patients do inside themselves.
The purpose of this book is to tell you what they do and how you can do it. For this uncommon skill, this internal act, not only is useful in a psychotherapist's office, it is a way of approaching any problem or situation.
We have taught this skill to large numbers of people not in therapy in subsequent years. Now that it seems anyone can learn it, I also want this book to be readable by anyone. The book is addressed to professionals, but not only to them. Therefore I am writing it simply and not in the technical manner of my philosophical and scientific publications.
The skill we have observed and defined is not only for problems. Among those who know it, it becomes an internal source that is consulted many times every day. I am using it right now, in the process of writing this book.
The skill I am about to teach you is called focusing.
It will enable you to find and change where your life is stuck, cramped, hemmed in, slowed down. And it will enable you to change—to live from a deeper place than just your thoughts and feelings.
One fact that disturbed us the most in those research studies was that patients who did the crucial thing inside themselves could be picked out in the first two therapy sessions. We found we could predict success or failure right from the start just by analyzing the early interviews. According to a careful statistical analysis, there was less than a thousand-to-one chance of getting the same finding accidentally.
Today we know how to teach focusing. So this finding does not mean that some people cannot learn it. But at the time this was a shocking discovery. Here we had therapists and patients embarking on a year or more of hard effort. Much human need, hope, devotion, and money would be involved, and we already knew they would fail.
The finding means that psychotherapy as usually practiced doesn't show patients how to do psychotherapy. In other words, patients did not improve with practice. If they did not somehow know right from the start how to approach themselves inside in that special way, they did not achieve major changes, no matter what they or their therapists did or how earnestly or for how long.
This finding was contrary to my predictions, and to what had been my own firm subjective conviction. I thought I had experienced the gradual opening and increasing ability of patients to come into touch with their feelings. I had been certain that patients learn to do psychotherapy in themselves over the course of treatment, and do it more effectively in the second half. I had had many experiences of beginning with patients who seemed inept at sensing themselves inwardly, and, by my own skills as a therapist, and with the patients' efforts, I had brought many such patients to a successful resolution of their problems.
One reason why research is so important is precisely that it can surprise you and tell you that your subjective convictions are wrong. If research always found what we expected, there wouldn't be much point in doing research.
With hindsight I realize I was thinking only of the successful patients and not of the many patients with whom I failed. Now we know how to teach these people the crucial skill as well.
The research shows plainly, and repeatedly, that successful patients do indeed improve in this key skill, but the research also shows that they had it to some extent right at the beginning. The others, those who failed, did not have it at all and never achieved it through psychotherapy alone. At that time we did not know how to teach it.
Most therapists don't know what this crucial internal approach is, let alone how to help patients learn it. So I was led to wonder: can it be taught?
My first feeling, stemming from my training as a psychotherapist, was to say no, it can't be taught. I was trained to believe that only a very naive therapist would try to tell the patient in words how therapy works. Someone who hasn't experienced it wouldn't understand the words. Psychotherapy was supposed to be an art, a mystery, not a science. Some groups claim to have developed exact scientific techniques, but this is only a propaganda claim. The omniscient and totally self-assured psychotherapist exists only in the movies. Of course, each school of therapists has its own ideas and techniques, but they all know that they stumble around confusedly when their techniques don't work, which is more often than not. Therefore no serious psychotherapist would claim to be able to put into words exactly what makes therapy work, how to make changes happen inside a person. Only therapy itself was supposed to teach how.
But the research had shown that therapy does not teach how to those who don't already know how. The research had also shown very specifically what the crucial inner act is. Was it naive, now, to think it might be teachable?
Despite my doubts, I set out to see if I could make that all-important inner act teachable. With many people's help, I gradually devised specific directions for doing what those rare successful patients had somehow known how to do. We tried those directions out on large numbers of people and revised them and tried them again many times over a period of years. Those instructions have now become very specific and very teachable. Research conducted in several places has shown that people can be taught effectively in these ways to perform that internal act (see appendix).
Since this crucial internal act can be taught, and is not taught by therapy, people need not be therapy patients to learn it. What follows from this fact is a kind of revolution. No longer need this change process be in the charge of therapists. People can do it for themselves and with each other.
Of course they are not "therapists" or "doctors" or "authorities" with each other, but the authority aspect of the medical doctor never has really fitted the human process of personal change at all. Human problems are by their very nature such that we are each inherently in charge of ourselves. No authority can resolve our problems or tell us how to live. Therefore I and others have been teaching more and more people to help themselves and each other.
This book will let you experience and recognize when actual change is happening in you, and when it's not. There is a distinct physical sensation of change, which you recognize once you have experienced it. We call it a body shift. When people have this even once, they no longer helplessly wonder for years whether they are changing or not. Now they can be their own judges of that. Often, when focusing is taught to a new group, some people experience a bodily shift, a step toward resolution of a problem they have discussed with a therapist for many years without change. They are shocked. Could a few minutes of this let me experience more change than I've had in my expensive psychotherapy?
People still think of the therapist as an authority. Even if patients feel no change, they think "the doctor" must know what's happening. If "the doctor" thinks they should keep coming, they accept it as necessary. They think something "must be happening." As someone wrote me recently: "When I confronted my therapist about there being no change, he thought it was all right if I have a paid friend for the rest of my life. I never went back . . . but after four years!"
When the revolution in self-help fully takes place and people generally learn and do these helpful processes with each other, will professional psychotherapy be unnecessary? I think expert help will always be wanted. But it will have to be better than what ordinary people can do when trained in specific skills. People will know how to recognize, unmistakably, whether they are being helped or not.
One must try out a number of therapists (a few sessions at a time, not years!) in order to find real help. You can do this after you learn the unmistakable bodily experience of a bit of change going on.
My approach to therapy and some of my colleagues' approaches too have been radically changed by the knowledge that the crucial inner act is teachable. When people come to me for help, I no longer let them talk and talk. And of course I don't—and never did—just analyze their feelings intelle... --This text refers to the paperback edition.
- File size : 287 KB
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Publication date : August 3, 2010
- ASIN : B004CLYCSO
- Publisher : Ebury Digital; 25Anniversary Ed edition (August 3, 2010)
- Print length : 194 pages
- Language: : English
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Not Enabled
- Page numbers source ISBN : 184413220X
- Lending : Not Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #417,110 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
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"What I am about to show you is not... the content free quite of meditation."
However, having read this book, I can say that this book is, in essence, teaching a very specific set of meditation skills. Even if the author himself might not realise it! What I like about this book is that it will demonstrate the enormous value of meditation to people who are very cut and dry. These people might struggle to see the value of meditation when it is presented in an excessively spiritual way. I really sympthise with these people and I wish meditation had less of a mystical aura about it, as it is, at its heart, a secular and pragmatic excersize. As someone with a decent amount of meditation experience myself, I have really appreciated looking at meditation from such a refreshing angle. I think "past me" would have avoided alot of pain and suffering if I could send this to him and his cynical approach to emotional intelligence!
I strongly recommend this book if you are simultaneously interested and skeptical of "emotional intelligence" and the surronding literature. Be aware that the book is slighty short (194 pages), and mostly revolves around the author's six step routine for increasing your awareness of emotional duress, and the subsequent dissolution of said duress.
Like most new innovation, there are going to be some flaws in the methods, and some of the suggestions might seem outlandish. And it's not going to work for everyone.
However, talking for myself, this does work. I know when I've been in jobs I didn't like, but body tenses up at the thought of going into the office. Sometimes, a friend is pleasant and everything on the surface seems ok. But there's a feeling inside of you that you can't put your finger on - that really scares and worries you. Then it turns out they were scheming behind your back.
That's your body knowing. And it's this sixth sense, intuition, whatever you want to call it - that will guide you through the problems and fears you have. Your unconcious mind processes millions of pieces of information per second, and conscious mind only processes a minor fraction of that. You just have to open up to that intuition.
Even if you're skeptical, I'd recommend buying this. Dismiss it as hogwash, and/or get a refund a day afterwards. But try some of the exercises and I think you're likely to reach a new paradigm of understanding yourself and your life.
Would I be dramatic if I claim this book might have saved my life (emotionally)?
No technique is right for everybody, but when the right one is found, it can become miraculous.
Gendlin's way is gentle and yet provides a framework easy to follow.
The tricky bit, which is to be practiced, is to stay with less obvious processes, and trust your own body.
"Twenty-five years ago when focusing was new, I shocked a colleague at the University by saying “The unconscious is the body.”..."
The only time I can remember my dreams is when after waking I `remember' to first not move my body while I hold onto my dream intellectually. As soon as I move my body the dream is lost forever.
The book is very comprehensive as American writers seem to be, however, the author does encapsulate his method into what he calls "6 focusing movements" which are easy to follow and really work.
I would imagine that like any method this will work for some but for others will seem very difficult or make little sense. As a person who has formally worked in a similar field to Eugene Gendlin I would encourage the naysayers to continue with their research into body work. After reading this book I realise that I am fully trained in process but with hardly any knowledge behind the process. Gendlin explains the who, what, where, when, why and how; in other words, this is real knowledge and not just some self help nonsense.
Our bodies are enigmas and I hope one day more people realise or have real eyes to see that our bodies are our greatest gift and our best friend.