- Hardcover: 224 pages
- Publisher: Writer's Digest Books (September 15, 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1582973482
- ISBN-13: 978-1582973487
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 7.2 inches
- Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 18 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,117,621 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Fondling Your Muse: Infallible Advice From a Published Author to the Writerly Aspirant Hardcover – September 15, 2005
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About the Author
John Warner is a successful editor of many books and has published many popular novels with his unique writing ability.
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(Caution: if you're a fan of Ann Coulter or certain tax cuts, this book may not be for you.)
I not only learned how to fondle my muse through this mental journey, but also how to eliminate unwanted distractions, assassinate bad reviewers, and generally abuse my authorly powers!
For anyone who has ever dreamed of writing a great novel, has already written a great novel, or simply wonders if their great novel is really that great, I most definitely recommend this book. Do everything it says, down to the last letter. If only Stephenie Meyer had read this book before writing her Twilight Saga, maybe something good would have come of that epic waste of paper. As for Fondling Your Muse; it's made of epic win!
What a way to turn the writing advice genre on its head. While there IS real advice to be found in John Warner's "Fondling Your Muse," it's just buried in the folds of all that humor. I had to keep reminding myself to pay attention between the lines to information I was reading for. This is witty as hell, tongue-in-cheek, hilarious (as the title would suggest, of course). And I hope no one takes all of Warner's suggestions seriously--I can see the lawsuits now!
Read Warner for his humor, for his in-sight into how the book world "really" works, for his dripping wit and sarcasm--it's worth the chuckles and outright laughter. "Fondling Your Muse" is the ideal antidote I needed to counteract the sturm-und-drang self-imposed reading list I've been working through lately. Awesome stuff!
It was oddly helpful in a way not unlike when you're reading a gut-bustingly funny book while at the same time eating a bowl of Friendly's "Forbidden Chocolate Explosion" ice cream, and suddenly all of the ice cream comes spurting out of your nose because you just came upon the most hilarious passage you've ever read, and then you realize how "a propos" the name of the ice cream is, and you clean yourself up and go to the store because that was the last of the ice cream, and you're searching the frozen food section while trying to ignore the awkward-yet-gawking looks you've been receiving from the other shoppers, and an acquaintance comes up to you and you say hi, and he asks how it's going and what that crusty brown spot is on your left cheek, and you're like "Crusty brown spot? What crusty brown spot?", and he shuffles his feet on the linoleum and coughs in an unconvincing manner and makes a hasty exit, and you start getting an uncomfortable feeling and rush to the bathroom, but you don't know where it is so you ask the stock guy in aisle 3, and he refuses to make eye contact while pointing you in the approximate direction, and you finally get in there and see your flourescently-lit reflection in the mirror and you're all "Oh my god! I've got Friendly's 'Forbidden Chocolate Explosion' on my face! Thank goodness somebody told me! That could have been really embarrassing!"
This book was a must-buy because a few weeks ago (I think it was a Tuesday), two thugs (who later confessed to having been hired by the author) accosted me in an alleyway and shoved a copy of "Fondling Your Muse" at me while grunting, "Must buy. Must buy." They were wearing trenchcoats, so...
This is a mighty good book. If you want to write, if you want to be rich, if you want to be famous, if you think you might need some advice, look no further.
I've read the book and look how good I write now!!! To borrow a phrase from the matchless John Warner, "Woo-hoo!". Thunderous applause, critical accolades, and unimaginable wealth is (are?) no longer a pipe dream for me.
How 'bout you?
Most recent customer reviews
I was unaware, until faced with the cover of this book, that Warner was the editor of McSweeney's, and as soon...Read more
this one...." and found myself angry at first for
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