For Real
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Laurence Dalziel is worn down and washed up, and for him, the BDSM scene is all played out. Six years on from his last relationship, he's pushing 40 and tired of going through the motions of submission. Then he meets Toby Finch. Nineteen years old. Fearless, fierce, and vulnerable. Everything Laurie can't remember being.
Toby doesn't know who he wants to be or what he wants to do. But he knows, with all the certainty of youth, that he wants Laurie. He wants him on his knees. He wants to make him hurt, he wants to make him beg, he wants to make him fall in love. The problem is, while Laurie will surrender his body, he won't surrender his heart. Because Toby is too young, too intense, too easy to hurt. And what they have - no matter how right it feels - can't last. It can't mean anything. It can't be real.
- Listening Length12 hours and 55 minutes
- Audible release dateNovember 30, 2015
- LanguageEnglish
- ASINB018IJCQWY
- VersionUnabridged
- Program TypeAudiobook
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Product details
| Listening Length | 12 hours and 55 minutes |
|---|---|
| Author | Alexis Hall |
| Narrator | Paul Berton, John Hartley |
| Whispersync for Voice | Ready |
| Audible.com Release Date | November 30, 2015 |
| Publisher | Audible Studios |
| Program Type | Audiobook |
| Version | Unabridged |
| Language | English |
| ASIN | B018IJCQWY |
| Best Sellers Rank | #35,777 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) #300 in Erotic Romance #719 in Romantic Erotica (Books) #4,865 in LGBTQ+ Romance (Books) |
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Hurt/comfort
BDSM (legit)
Age gap
Steamy
Rejection sensitive vs open hearted
Dual first person POV
TW- remembered cheating, death of a side character, remembered child neglect, talk of remembered manmade disaster, on page scene between one MC and another person
In A Nutshell:
Laurie is an older man who carries a lot of pain and fear from his past. How can he love again when the plan he once had for life was so unexpectedly taken from him? Obeying for others but not submitting has been his way of life for the past several years and he's accepted that's how his life will play out. Until Toby. Sweet, 19 year old Toby who is honest and sweet and completely open with his heart. Toby isn't shy at all when it comes to loving Laurie. Laurie, however, expects this to be some fling for Toby. The fun "I once explored kinky s-x with an older man" story Toby'll share with friends in the future. So while Toby goes all in, Laurie just offers enough to feel safe from future heartache.
A Bit More:
I had to read this book twice to make sure I wasn't just obsessing over a well written BDSM novel...
Wow, I can't even begin to describe the amount of feelings this story pulled from me even though this is surprisingly low angst. There's a bit of drama, yes, but the kind that made me shake my head and not my Kindle :) I'll be the first to admit that Alexis Hall knows how to write fabulous culture stories. I'll also freely admit that there's another series with well written exchanges I wanted to enjoy but the men just did not work for me. This, though. THIS. Perfection. Laurie and Toby made me smile, cry, curse, everything, all the feels.
This book somehow wormed it's way into my heart even while I was focused on how much I enjoyed and appreciated the intimate scenes---- not for the sensuality, although there was that, but for the introspection and awareness of our MCs as they combined pain with pleasure to create that intimacy. I was blown away pretty early on and remained absolutely in awe until the end. Laurie is so terrified of love and Toby is so filled with it. I wanted to hug and hold each man equally- how could two people so perfect for one another not immediately set the world on fire? What makes everything so lovely is how real their relationship is. A hurt/comfort where one man is willing to share a small part of himself and the other man is willing to counterbalance the weight until they finally meet in the middle. Getting there takes some time but it's beautiful and messy and romantic and honest.
I was pretty starry eyed the first time I read this. I was starry eyed and tearful the second time around. Understanding the small hints and drops of Laurie's past while reading made it so much more heart wrenching. How could I not forgive him for trying what he deemed his best after the real world had knocked him so harshly to the ground? We all need help getting back up at some point. If we're lucky, we all find our Toby. A tea light in the dark. A spark that's bound to light a fire. Patience, kindness, joy, love. This story is so absolutely romantic in a way that many others wish they could be. A story filled with new love and intense intimacy; scorching heat and beautiful language. I'm not sure I can recommend this enough. Everyone should read this. Everyone.
THE STORY: Laurence Dalziel is emotionally worn out. The man he loved left him six years ago, and he hasn't found a relationship that can replace his need for BDSM submission and be emotionally fulfilling. At age 37 doesn't have any optimism about the future when he meets Toby Finch, who is 19 years old and looking to mature into his need to be a dominant in the BDSM scene. Laurie and Toby connect almost immediately, although Laurie feels the weight of his age and Toby's youth, freshness, vulnerability, and optimism. Laurie might reluctantly accept the sexual pull between them but refuses to allow it to mean anything more.
OPINION: This book reads like a literary story. Although definitely within the romance genre, it just feels different. I thought about the story of these two characters long after finishing this book.
I tend not to be a big fan of erotic romances. I'm not as interested in the extended sexual exploits that are essential to that sub-genre as I prefer my characters to interact in other ways. Thus, I was prepared not to like this book. Admittedly, I drifted at times during the erotic scenes, but I found that this book is deeply emotional in ways I didn't expect. I would say that despite those scenes, I really loved this book.
Laurence and Toby both travel so much in this story. The book begins with the older, worn-out man who has lost much on his life's journey. He no longer even hopes for something more. The younger man yearns to define himself and discover his future. But the book does not maintain these stereotypes. The reader learns that each of these characters is complex and has emotional needs that the other can help assuage.
The book defies the expected. Again and again, the story turns in directions that I didn't expect. Deeply romantic and a book that centers the connection between these two characters.
WORTH MENTIONING: The only thing that made me uncomfortable about this book is that Toby is 19. I would have found even a 20-year-old less jarring, but perhaps the uncomfortable feeling is precisely what the author intended.
CONNECTED BOOKS: FOR REAL is the third book in the Spires series. It is not necessary to read those books before this one, however. The books are connected thematically but are not otherwise related.
STAR RATING: I give this book 5 stars.
These two are seemingly so different but together they are just amazing, watching them come together despite everything, go through everything together was amazing. These two fall in love even when falling in love and being vulnerable is scary and completely terrifying.














