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Forbidden (The Arotas Series Book 1) Kindle Edition
|Length: 278 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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I also could not get past all the grammar, punctuation, and formatting mistakes (I purchased Forbidden while it was free back in 2013 and have read in some reviews that Ms. Miles intends to release an edited version or perhaps she has already done so. If that is the case, I sincerely hope I read the unedited version) I also found the tense mistakes distracting. The book is written in present tense, which is very difficult for even master writers to execute well, but can be done as long as the author is careful. Tenses would switch frequently, sometimes even in the middle of a sentence. While these seem like small pebbles in the rafting adventure of a story; add them all together and the raft gets stuck in all the rocks.
**SPOILER ALERT BEGINS**
I spent most of the time being confused by many of the characters' reactions. In the limo scene, William and Sadie discover the truth about Gabriel and Roseline's connection. Leading up to this scene, they have disliked Gabriel. I find it confusing, therefore, that they are not shocked to find that Roseline is married but they are more concerned that Gabriel's biological father is her brother-in-law. This doesn't make much sense to me. All the characters exhibit a general sense of bi-polar as well: one minute they're angry the next they love each other, then they're sad. These fluctuations occurred without any explanation as to why. I can understand wanting to drive the story with drama, but I mostly found it confusing. I thought perhaps it was because they are immature teenagers, but if that is the case, what is Roseline's excuse? She's over 300 years old.
I found the continuity distracting as well. At one point Roseline gets very angry that Fane would dare address her by her maiden name (it stood out to me because it seemed odd that if she hated her husband so much, why would she have such pride in her married name?) then later when she confronts her husband she proudly proclaims herself by her maiden name. Very confusing. This is an example of many of the questions I found myself asking, especially toward the end of the story. What is Arotas and why is there no mention in the story if it is part of the title of the book? Why does Nicolae spend the entire book being a hunter of Roseline, then helps Gabriel to Romania knowing the goal is to save her, then sides with his uncle who appears to be no less cruel than the "vampires" he is trying to hunt, then helps Fane save Roseline, then vows to avenge his uncle's death? I have many many more discrepancies that I feel could be helpful if the story is to be re-edited. I would be happy to discuss them with more detail if you would like a follow up review. I would be happy to contribute in any way.
I hope that I have not been too discouraging. As I said, I feel that there are some really great elements in the story and that it has great potential. It does need some work however. Keep fleshing out your ideas.
The story starts out super grabbing--Rose in the middle of what should be her princess-like wedding if the groom hadn't turned out to be a blood thirsty vampire feasting on all wedding guests. Being transformed into a vampire...or something close to it but not really...she endures 300 years of his violent temper and travels from Romania, around the world and lands somewhere in the U.S.
It's a great set-up with potentially amazing characters, and I so wanted to delve into the plot and fall into love with this book. Still, I gave up after seventy or so pages. The writing is a little rough although that doesn't really pull out of the story. Rose and her friends are still likable. It's the little logic holes which finally became too much--for example, Rose's sudden desire to go to high school seemed unfounded, her money situation was confusing, the sudden appearance of an exchange student at her best friend's house, and so on. Even her own extreme beauty was a bit much as well as her over attractiveness to men.
There are wonderful things too--a nice moving pace, interesting backgrounds and a lovely set up which give this story so much potential. I'm sure others who love vampire stories might really enjoy this, but it simply wasn't for me.
I'd have loved to give this 3 stars, but since I couldn't bring myself to finish it, I'm afraid I'll have to stick with two.
I gave it three stars for changing the idea of how vampires exist, but I took away two for not trying harder with other aspects of the story.