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The Force of Things: A Marriage in War and Peace Hardcover – February 12, 2013
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A masterpiece of literary memory―a powerful exploration of the intersections of family, history, and memory
"One evening in May 1948, my mother went to a party in New York with her first husband and left it with her second, my father." So begins the passionate and stormy union of Mikhail Kamenetzki, aka Ugo Stille, one of Italy's most celebrated journalists, and Elizabeth Bogert, a beautiful and charming young woman from the Midwest.
The Force of Things follows two families across the twentieth century―one starting in czarist Russia, the other starting in the American Midwest―and takes them across revolution, war, fascism, and racial persecution, until they collide at mid-century. Their immediate attraction and tumultuous marriage is part of a much larger story: the mass migration of Jews from fascist-dominated Europe in the 1930s and 1940s. It is a micro-story of that moment of cross-pollination that reshaped much of American culture and society. Theirs was an uneasy marriage between Europe and America, between Jew and WASP; their differences were a key to their bond yet a source of constant strife.
Alexander Stille's The Force of Things is a powerful, beautifully written work with the intimacy of a memoir, the pace and readability of a novel, and the historical sweep and documentary precision of nonfiction writing at its best. It is a portrait of people who are buffeted about by large historical events, who try to escape their origins but find themselves in the grip of the force of things.
- Print length384 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFarrar, Straus and Giroux
- Publication dateFebruary 12, 2013
- Dimensions6.45 x 1.33 x 9.35 inches
- ISBN-100374157421
- ISBN-13978-0374157425
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“Why should readers care about a pair of strangers’ bad marriage? . . . The thing is, in The Force of Things: A Marriage In War and Peace, their son brings to their story not only a sense of filial puzzlement and emotion, but also the narrative verve of a novelist combined with the unflinching eye of a seasoned journalist. In [Stille’s] capable hands, their distressing tale of marital woe becomes a fascinating psychological study of two people with complicated family pasts, trying to forge identities of their own―two people with utterly different views and experiences of history . . . It is Mr. Stille’s determination to use his skills as a reporter to flesh out his family’s history that lends this book its depth of field and emotional ballast . . . He leaves us not just with extraordinarily powerful portraits of these terribly mismatched individuals, but also with a deeply felt understanding of how they were shaped.” ―Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times
“[The Force of Things is an] artful and formidably researched reconstruction of the two worlds that had produced [Stille's] parents and their angry, improbably enduring marriage . . . Alexander Stille has a particularly adroit eye for the conflicting images of their lives together . . . The family he actually observed is brilliantly, if often brutally, described.” ―Jane Kramer, The New York Review of Books
“In The Force of Things, his richly detailed narrative of his parents' long, troubled union, Alexander Stille sifts through voluminous interviews and archives to conjure a couple--and a world--in the throes of change . . . The Force of Things maps a complex family tree, tracing a lavish cultural history through each branch and twig . . . The prose here is diamond-cut, evoking the glitter of a turbulent century--a son's homage to the triumphs and disappointments of two flawed, memorable people.” ―Hamilton Cain, O: The Oprah magazine
“Wonderful . . . Stille has the confidence to write about his parents as flawed human beings, with a minimum of blame or recrimination. He also has the historical imagination to evoke their very different backgrounds with equal vividness . . . As The Force of Things shows, the best memoirs transcend solipsism to become genuine histories of unknown lives.” ―Adam Kirsch, Tablet
“Stille paints a portrait that is as expansive as it is attentive to detail. It has been said the personal is the political, and both are fully represented here, from the rise of ethos dictating the fate of nations to the every-day neuroses, like the hoarding of old newspapers, that strain a family to the breaking point . . . The book feels much like a nonfiction version of Jeffrey Eugenides's Middlesex--it serves as a reminder of how incredibly vast and varied are the influences of those who stand on American soil today, and it attempts to look back at how they got here.” ―Nicholas Mancusi, The Daily Beast
“An engrossing, surprising look at conjugal life across four decades, with many fascinating angles.” ―Good Housekeeping, Books We Love (on Pinterest)
“Award-winning author Stille presents more than the portrait of a tempestuous marriage. His father was a celebrated journalist whose family had immigrated to Italy from revolutionary Russia, his mother was a charming Midwestern WASP, and their life story captures the sweep of the twentieth century, the crossing of cultures, and a world in upheaval.” ―Library Journal
“[Stille] depicts the histrionic partners in a truly mixed marriage with sharp insight and affection. A memorable study in contrasts, recounted with understanding and verve.” ―Kirkus Reviews
“Chances are, everyone's family history is fascinating--chock-full of tragedy, romance, and astonishing secrets of every variety. All it really takes is a keen observer of human behavior, an avid researcher, and a memoirist of considerable talent like nonfiction author (Excellent Cadavers and The Future of the Past) and New Yorker contributor Stille to forcefully communicate the unique trajectory of an individual clan. Stille reaches back into his family's past in order to tell the story of his parents and of his own literary and cultural heritage. When his mother, a married Midwestern WASP, met his father, a Russian-born, Italian-bred Jewish journalist, at a New York cocktail party in 1948, sparks flew and another incredible family journey, mired in the past but pointing toward the future, began. Stille places his parents' often tumultuous relationship into multiple contexts, examining it intimately from personal, historical, and cultural perspectives.” ―Booklist
“In this compulsively readable book, Alexander Stille looks at his parents strange marriage with the doggedness of a great reporter and the eye of a poet. Theirs is a deeply American story, and as the history of these two fascinating people unfolds it encompasses the assimilation of three generations of immigrants from widely different backgrounds. In the end, this history of a particular marriage has become something larger, offering each of us something to identify with.” ―Ruth Reichl, author of Tender at the Bone: Growing up at the Table
“I have never before read a book quite like Alexander Stille's The Force of Things. I felt as if I was intruding on his and his parents' privacy, as he vividly captures and conveys the stormy yet magnetic relationship between two difficult and complicated people, his Jewish father, the world-class Italian journalist Ugo Stille (only one of his various names), and his beautiful WASP, mid-western American mother. With taste, insight and sensitivity. the author lays bare an extraordinary family's most intimate moments, as he introduces us to the various worlds they simultaneously inhabit and create.” ―Victor S. Navasky, author of Naming Names
“Alexander Stille's The Force of Things: A Marriage in War and Peace, is both an important contribution to the intellectual history of the twentieth century and an enthralling, wonderfully intelligent, and tender memoir of his extraordinary family. It brings tears to your eyes even as it makes you smile. Altogether a brilliant and virtuous achievement.” ―Louis Begley, author of Schmidt Steps Back
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Product details
- Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux; First Edition (February 12, 2013)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 384 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0374157421
- ISBN-13 : 978-0374157425
- Item Weight : 1.3 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.45 x 1.33 x 9.35 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,360,915 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #16,111 in Author Biographies
- #24,854 in United States Biographies
- #92,253 in Memoirs (Books)
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The pictures on the front cover show Alexander Stille's two sets of grandparents. His father's parents were Jewish emigrants, who after the Russian Revolution fled to Italy, where they lived until they were able to leave for the United States in 1941. The Kamenetzki family - their son Michael changed his name to "Ugo Stille" in honor of a friend who had died in the war - never really adjusted to life as refugees. Their marriage was unhappy. His mother's parents were Midwestern WASPs, who seemed mismatched temperamentally, also had a long and unhappy marriage. Alexander's mother, Elizabeth, didn't get along with her lawyer-father and may have brought sexual issues into her own marriage, as a result of possible incestuous feelings about her father. Neither parent - as having experienced the ups-and-downs of their own parents' marriages - was able to merge into a workable marriage. They had both tempestuous personalities which brought an opera-like effect to their marriage.
Misha Stille was an extremely successful writer and editor for a series of Italian newspapers for forty years; writing about the United States and its position in the world. Elizabeth Stille ran the household and worked in various jobs, ending as an editor at Reader's Digest. They both died in the early and mid-1990's, still together and still at odds to the very end. Elizabeth and Misha (Ugo) Stille had two children, Lucy, born in 1951 and Alexander, born six years later. As participants in their parents' lives and marriage, they were witnesses to the almost daily battles between husband and wife. It's not easy for children to grow up in such a volatile household, but both children seem to have made happy and productive lives for themselves.
Alexander Stille has put almost as much about his life in the book as he does his parents' lives. He is, after all, a product of a weird and interesting combination of genes and upbringing. He does an excellent job at trying to figure it all out and if he's not right, well, the reader probably wouldn't know what's right, either.
His book is similar to another memoir also about two people from entirely different backgrounds who make a life together. That's Vikram Seth's book, "Two Lives",, about his uncle - a dentist from India who trains in Germany in the 1930's, where he meets a German Jewish woman. They both end up in London, where they marry and make a long life together. Both Seth's and Stille's books are both wonderfully written looks at how the oddest people end up together!
HIs father Michael (also known by Misha) dominates the book as no doubt he dominated the life of his wife, Elizabeth and his two children. Stille weaves here the story of his father's complex past, a Jew twice evicted from countries due to racial laws who came to America shortly before the Second World War, enlisted and returned to Italy. He was not a foot soldier slogging across Sicily with Patton; with his language skills and his contacts among anti-fascists, Michael was a key to Allied Intelligence there.
Alexander STille using family letters, documents, informed conjecture paints the portrait of his father's young life in Italy, his university days, his wartime service and then his long tenure as the NY correspondent for Corriere della Sera. In this job Michael seems scarcely to have left their apartment, working in his pajamas, bellowing at the family, calling Italy every day to dictate his pieces. Toward the end of his life he returned to Italy, in a kind of triumph, asked to take up the post of Editor in Chief of the paper.
Elizabeth Stille emerges from the shadow of her husband as a complicated, talented woman, whose marriage to Stille (her second husband) baffled her her wealthy midwestern family. At the end of her life, medicated against cancer she had long candid conversations with her son and from these (and letters marked Destroy After Reading) he has painted an indelible of her and her marriage.
Stille also creates lively backgrounds for these portraits: young Italian anti-fascists in the 30's, wartime Italy, the New York intelligentsia scene in the 50's and 60's. The book is bright with well known names, and some not so well known stories. How Michael (and thus Alexander) came by the name Stille, that alone is worth the cost of the book.
The second hand smoke in Alexander Stille's childhood home (Dad smoked six packs of cigs a day, Mom smoked 2 and half packs, even after she had lung cancer) does not seem to have adversely affected him. His writing is graceful his ability to create strong narrative second to none. The last chapters about his own life are modest and candid His meditation on the nature of memoir I found compelling.
I first discovered Stille's work twenty years ago in his wonderful book BENEVOLENCE AND BETRAYAL about the lives of five Italian Jewish families under Fascism. Everyone to whom I have recommended this book has loved it.
If I had any niggling thoughts about THE FORCE OF THINGS, I might have wished for a better, stronger title to indicate what a fine book this is, and the courage Alexander Stille shows in putting his parents on the page and giving those pages to us.
Communism, Fascism and finally America. The story illuminates the characters of the writer's family with the warm light that can shine only later in life when maturity allows one to look back and really understand. Stille's voice is generous, loving, and understanding: you will find yourself engaged and caring about these talented and fascinating people.
I can not remember an other family story that I found as captivating.
I am grateful to Stille for opening up his treasures to us.


