Top critical review
3 people found this helpful
on August 11, 2013
When I picked up this book, I was really hopeful it would provide new insights into female Relational Aggression (RA) within families, particularly in-laws. However, I found this book just a repeat of some of the other stuff I've read by this author, and when it got to the chapter on in-laws the book fell short. The ideas seemed incomplete and just left me going "Huh? And?"
Also, there was a little too many personal stories and articles in this book for my liking and not enough of the author's voice. While I do like the idea of other women sharing their stories, the continual poetry, personal memoirs and articles made for choppy reading. Also, it seemed more like this book should have been advertised as a collection of women's experiences more than an insightful analysis on female RA within the family dynamic.
In addition, I think the last segment about "what to do" about female family RA was too idealistic; while some good advice was given, the scope was too limited (i.e. the need to reconcile or just choose whether to put up with it because there's no escaping a family and there's still the notion of pleasing your spouse by putting up with it).
In my personal experience, having a reasonable discussion with a bully usually doesn't work and can even escalate their aggression because they know they're being called out on it. If these individuals were 'reasonable' they wouldn't be bullies to begin with. Therefore, sometimes reconciliation or mutual respect is not possible and what this book failed to mention was that it doesn't matter where bullying occurs (even in a family). You have the right to cut ties with other women who abuse you, period-- sometimes that might be the only way to save your self-worth and/or marriage.