I am a mom to 3 bio children and 1 adopted daughter from China. She is 7 years old and I still read to her and she still likes to hear adoption books and I am still trying to find appropriate books on adoption and build her collection. This one was listed as good for 5-8 year olds on a site so I looked it up. I do not understand the good reviews for this book.. I know the "perfect" adoption book is not out there, as every situation, adoption, family and child are unique. And I see that there is a trend to not "sugar coating" the adoption which I don't totally understand either. Some people are harsh on books because they are fairy tale-ish when adoption stems from something sad. I get all that, but these books are for children and therefore I do want them to make my daughter feel good about herself and her adoption, always knowing how much she was wanted. The harsh reality will come in time, but first I want to establish the fact that she was wanted!
I always read through adoption books before I read them to my daughter and have kept all the books I've ever ordered. If a book says something like, "mommy wanted you so much" I will take the liberty to throw daddy in there too. However, now my daughter can read and I can't go changing books so easily anymore. Well, I could not believe in this book (for small children) the passage, "But if her parents lived in a castle, why didn't they keep her? Was she too big, too small...did she cry too much, or what? How could they not love her enough to keep her? She must have been really BAD. Lucie hit her pillow- Boom! Boom! Boom! Lucie was sad and screamed that she wanted to grow in her mom's tummy". WHAT???? It then goes on to say, ""Lucie's mom...telling her it wasn't her fault- it was a decision made by her birth parents, for big people reasons". That doesn't seem like a good enough explanation... maybe the reason was that she cried to much?! I just feel this opens a huge can of worms without doing enough to fix it. This idea has never crossed my daughter's mind- that it was her fault that she was not kept. I realize these are feelings that adopted children have almost universally. But, I can assure you, I will not be the one to plant this seed in her mind at age 7. She has never asked one question about her birthmother, although I have made clear she grew in her birth mother's tummy. I want to give her clear information, including the lack of information, when she is ready. I also don't love the idea of romanticizing the parents (maybe they live in a castle...), that hasn't occurred to my daughter either. I don't like that the book also touches on where babies come from. Is this an adoption book, or a birds and bees book? And honestly, I don't get the big deal about the fingerprints? They were formed while she was in the womb, and they'll never change and so "all she has to do was look at her fingertips and remember her birth mother, just like when she was in her birth mother's womb". This is how the connection is made and it just doesn't make sense to me. The book ends with Lucie dreaming she is "in a circle with her mom and dad and her birth mother and father. It was a wonderful circle that included ALL HER FAMILY". I don't like this emphasis. But China situation is unique. Perhaps this would be better for domestic/open adoption but the book is definitely directly towards international adoption as it mentions they don't know anything about the birth parents.
I like the book Families are Forever by Craig Shemin. The illustrations are cute too. And I like the book, I Wished for You. Again, neither perfect, but nothing I gasped at. Both leave my daughter feeling loved and happy. And both better for younger children. My quest for a book that delves a little bit deeper, for a little older child, continues.
I would return this book but Amazon is going to charge me shipping. So, I will tuck it safely away for now and IF these feelings emerge in my daughter, I will pull it out and reevaluate.
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Here's the review I wrote for our blog:The wonderful adoption classic, Forever Fingerprints by Sherrie Eldridge is being reissued by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. An adoptee and a staunch advocate for adoptive families writes, who LIVES the adoption journey, Sherrie connects with adoptees’ hearts and validates their experience. Forever Fingerprints, a picture book serves a younger audience than Sherrie’s other books.Behind its simple story line, Forever Fingerprints models adoption-attuned* relationships. It speaks to child and parent. As an adoption coach as well as an adoptive parent, I know it is important for parents to clearly establish that adoption is a suitable topic for family discussion. While this may seem obvious, to children it is not. In the absence of expressed permission, kids will assume that adoptions conversations are off limits. They will fear that it might hurt their (adoptive) parents if they talk about their concerns, mixed feelings and sharing their thoughts about their birth parents. And so, many wrestle with heavy worries weighing down their hearts. Forever Fingerprints is an easy and enjoyable way for parents to talk about some of the “hard stuff” of adoption.Forever Fingerprints, captures a common moment in an adoptee’s life—being blindsided by a routine event that triggers a young girl’s awareness of loss or difference which results from being adopted. Specifically, Lucy discovers that her aunt is pregnant. Lucy is tickled to discover she can feel the baby move when she taps her aunt’s stomach. It is easy to see how this leads Lucy to wonder about her own birth mother.This story helps reassure Lucy that like all children, she too, was nurtured inside her birth mother’s body. And, just like other babies, she was born. Research has shown that many adoptees experience confusion around their origins. Some even imagine they were “hatched” or arrived by airplane. Forever Fingerprints presents offers a teaching moment that helps normalizes Lucy’s own origins. Parents can ask their children to share their ideas of their own birth. (Be prepared to be surprised by what they think!)I like how Eldridge has used fingerprints to establish both the child’s uniqueness as well as her connection to her birth parents. I have shared this book with children who have no information about their birth parents and no possibility of communicating with them at adulthood. These children still have curiosity about and longing for connecting with their roots. They feel the weight of this void. Having the fingerprint link assisted them in feeling that they had a permanent reflection of their birth parents.In Forever Fingerprints, Lucy’s mother is attuned to her daughter’s roller-coaster emotions. Mom validates Lucy’s feelings and helps her to see several ways in which her birth parents exist within Lucy. This serves as a wonderful model for both parent and child readers. Parents have an example of how to handle the situations. Children have an example that it is both safe and reasonable to have questions and feelings.I recommend this book because it helps both parent and child. Families can easily replicate the fingerprinting activity. On one of our GIFT Family Services retreats, we completed a similar project—a fingerprint tree. (View our creation at left.) Although very simple, we were all touched by the experience as we could see how each of our fingerprints enhanced the beauty of the tree.This is a wonderful metaphor for the value of difference. How boring life would be if we were all the same! Even the “finger paint” cover art supports the metaphor. Remember how much fun it was to slide your fingers through the cool, squishy colors? Why not join your children in creating a fingerpaint drawing? Perhaps it can be the cover for your child’s life book.“Forever Fingerprints” is available for preorder. Jessica Kingsley Publishers officially launches this new issue on Oct. 21, 2014. It will be available in both hardcover and Kindle formats. --Gayle H. Swift, author, "ABC, Adoption &Me: A Multicultural Picture book"
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Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2016
An important message of a lasting origin and connection through story in a fun, age appropriate manner
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 16, 2015Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 1, 2015
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 21, 2014
Behind its simple story line, Forever Fingerprints models adoption-attuned* relationships. It speaks to child and parent. As an adoption coach as well as an adoptive parent, I know it is important for parents to clearly establish that adoption is a suitable topic for family discussion. While this may seem obvious, to children it is not. In the absence of expressed permission, kids will assume that adoptions conversations are off limits. They will fear that it might hurt their (adoptive) parents if they talk about their concerns, mixed feelings and sharing their thoughts about their birth parents. And so, many wrestle with heavy worries weighing down their hearts. Forever Fingerprints is an easy and enjoyable way for parents to talk about some of the “hard stuff” of adoption.
Forever Fingerprints, captures a common moment in an adoptee’s life—being blindsided by a routine event that triggers a young girl’s awareness of loss or difference which results from being adopted. Specifically, Lucy discovers that her aunt is pregnant. Lucy is tickled to discover she can feel the baby move when she taps her aunt’s stomach. It is easy to see how this leads Lucy to wonder about her own birth mother.
This story helps reassure Lucy that like all children, she too, was nurtured inside her birth mother’s body. And, just like other babies, she was born. Research has shown that many adoptees experience confusion around their origins. Some even imagine they were “hatched” or arrived by airplane. Forever Fingerprints presents offers a teaching moment that helps normalizes Lucy’s own origins. Parents can ask their children to share their ideas of their own birth. (Be prepared to be surprised by what they think!)
I like how Eldridge has used fingerprints to establish both the child’s uniqueness as well as her connection to her birth parents. I have shared this book with children who have no information about their birth parents and no possibility of communicating with them at adulthood. These children still have curiosity about and longing for connecting with their roots. They feel the weight of this void. Having the fingerprint link assisted them in feeling that they had a permanent reflection of their birth parents.
In Forever Fingerprints, Lucy’s mother is attuned to her daughter’s roller-coaster emotions. Mom validates Lucy’s feelings and helps her to see several ways in which her birth parents exist within Lucy. This serves as a wonderful model for both parent and child readers. Parents have an example of how to handle the situations. Children have an example that it is both safe and reasonable to have questions and feelings.
I recommend this book because it helps both parent and child. Families can easily replicate the fingerprinting activity. On one of our GIFT Family Services retreats, we completed a similar project—a fingerprint tree. (View our creation at left.) Although very simple, we were all touched by the experience as we could see how each of our fingerprints enhanced the beauty of the tree.
This is a wonderful metaphor for the value of difference. How boring life would be if we were all the same! Even the “finger paint” cover art supports the metaphor. Remember how much fun it was to slide your fingers through the cool, squishy colors? Why not join your children in creating a fingerpaint drawing? Perhaps it can be the cover for your child’s life book.
“Forever Fingerprints” is available for preorder. Jessica Kingsley Publishers officially launches this new issue on Oct. 21, 2014. It will be available in both hardcover and Kindle formats. --Gayle H. Swift, author, "ABC, Adoption &Me: A Multicultural Picture book"
The wonderful adoption classic
By gayle h. swift on October 21, 2014
Here's the review I wrote for our blog:The wonderful adoption classic, Forever Fingerprints by Sherrie Eldridge is being reissued by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. An adoptee and a staunch advocate for adoptive families writes, who LIVES the adoption journey, Sherrie connects with adoptees’ hearts and validates their experience. Forever Fingerprints, a picture book serves a younger audience than Sherrie’s other books.By gayle h. swift on October 21, 2014
Behind its simple story line, Forever Fingerprints models adoption-attuned* relationships. It speaks to child and parent. As an adoption coach as well as an adoptive parent, I know it is important for parents to clearly establish that adoption is a suitable topic for family discussion. While this may seem obvious, to children it is not. In the absence of expressed permission, kids will assume that adoptions conversations are off limits. They will fear that it might hurt their (adoptive) parents if they talk about their concerns, mixed feelings and sharing their thoughts about their birth parents. And so, many wrestle with heavy worries weighing down their hearts. Forever Fingerprints is an easy and enjoyable way for parents to talk about some of the “hard stuff” of adoption.
Forever Fingerprints, captures a common moment in an adoptee’s life—being blindsided by a routine event that triggers a young girl’s awareness of loss or difference which results from being adopted. Specifically, Lucy discovers that her aunt is pregnant. Lucy is tickled to discover she can feel the baby move when she taps her aunt’s stomach. It is easy to see how this leads Lucy to wonder about her own birth mother.
This story helps reassure Lucy that like all children, she too, was nurtured inside her birth mother’s body. And, just like other babies, she was born. Research has shown that many adoptees experience confusion around their origins. Some even imagine they were “hatched” or arrived by airplane. Forever Fingerprints presents offers a teaching moment that helps normalizes Lucy’s own origins. Parents can ask their children to share their ideas of their own birth. (Be prepared to be surprised by what they think!)
I like how Eldridge has used fingerprints to establish both the child’s uniqueness as well as her connection to her birth parents. I have shared this book with children who have no information about their birth parents and no possibility of communicating with them at adulthood. These children still have curiosity about and longing for connecting with their roots. They feel the weight of this void. Having the fingerprint link assisted them in feeling that they had a permanent reflection of their birth parents.
In Forever Fingerprints, Lucy’s mother is attuned to her daughter’s roller-coaster emotions. Mom validates Lucy’s feelings and helps her to see several ways in which her birth parents exist within Lucy. This serves as a wonderful model for both parent and child readers. Parents have an example of how to handle the situations. Children have an example that it is both safe and reasonable to have questions and feelings.
I recommend this book because it helps both parent and child. Families can easily replicate the fingerprinting activity. On one of our GIFT Family Services retreats, we completed a similar project—a fingerprint tree. (View our creation at left.) Although very simple, we were all touched by the experience as we could see how each of our fingerprints enhanced the beauty of the tree.
This is a wonderful metaphor for the value of difference. How boring life would be if we were all the same! Even the “finger paint” cover art supports the metaphor. Remember how much fun it was to slide your fingers through the cool, squishy colors? Why not join your children in creating a fingerpaint drawing? Perhaps it can be the cover for your child’s life book.
“Forever Fingerprints” is available for preorder. Jessica Kingsley Publishers officially launches this new issue on Oct. 21, 2014. It will be available in both hardcover and Kindle formats. --Gayle H. Swift, author, "ABC, Adoption &Me: A Multicultural Picture book"
Images in this review
