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Robert D. Enright
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Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (APA LifeTools Series) 1st Edition, Kindle Edition

by Robert D. Enright (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 354 ratings
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Forgiveness Is a Choice is a self-help book for people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment. As a creator of the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country, Robert D. Enright shows how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness toward one's future.

This groundbreaking work demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven. Filled with wisdom and warm encouragement, the book leads the reader on a path that will bring clarity and peace.

Enright is careful to distinguish forgiveness from "pseudoforgiveness" and to reassure readers that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.

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  1. ISBN-13
    978-1557987570
  2. Edition
    1st
  3. Publisher
    APA LifeTools
  4. Publication date
    June 11, 2019
  5. Part of series
    APA LifeTools Series
  6. Language
    English
  7. File size
    380 KB
  8. See all details
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APA LifeTools Series
APA LifeTools Series
Bundle price: Kindle price
$43.42
Bundle price: Kindle price
$78.32
Bundle price: Kindle price
$165.81
Bundle price: Kindle price
$801.13
By placing your order, you're purchasing a license to the content and you agree to the Kindle Store Terms of Use.

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From the Publisher

Forgiveness Is a Choice

"Robert Enright is 'the forgiveness trailblazer'." —Time Magazine

A self-help book for people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

According to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, WI, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. This practical, nonsectarian, self-directed guide is deeply rooted in that study, of which educational psychologist Enright was a leader. Unlike other books on forgiveness (e.g., the writings of Lewis B. Smedes and Philip Yancey), this work doesn't cater to the casual reader seeking hints for self-improvement; Enright's readers must be committed and immerse themselves in the four stages of self-discovery uncovering anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and discovery and release. Stressing that the process of forgiveness is different for each person, Enright advises flexibility, discourages the premature setting of specific goals, and encourages readers to draw on the support of a friend or therapist as they work through the phases. This debut title of the American Psychological Association's new trade imprint, APA LifeTools, is highly recommended. Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Robert Enright is 'the forgiveness trailblazer'. ― Time Magazine

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B003ZUXZ5E
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ APA LifeTools; 1st edition (June 11, 2019)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 11, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 380 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 324 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 354 ratings

About the author

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Robert D. Enright

Robert D. Enright

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Robert D. Enright is professor in the Educational Psychology Department at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is president of the International Forgiveness Institute at UWMadison, has lectured across the country, and has appeared on ABC News 20/20.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
354 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book's content helpful and thought-provoking. They describe it as an excellent read that provides a clear process for forgiveness and healing. The writing is concise and accurate, providing clarity and structure to the process.

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ContentReadabilityForgivenessWriting clarity
28 customers mention "Content"26 positive2 negative

Customers find the book's content helpful and thought-provoking. They say it provides insights into a remote culture and encourages them to make a difference. The book helps them walk through issues that came from places in their lives. However, some found the author's lecture more moving than the book.

"...It's very practical. You will have to roll up your sleeves grab a note pad, a pen and do some real work...." Read more

"...I found that to be very helpful and key to be able to use this book as efficiently for me as it was possible." Read more

"...things" book -- this one offers a concrete, step-by-step, practical approach...." Read more

"...It is thoughtful and thought-provoking; exquisite in how it addresses almost every issue and concern we face in our almost ethereal comprehension..." Read more

27 customers mention "Readability"27 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and well-written. They appreciate the clear process and framework for learning forgiveness. The book provides definitions, case stories, and a useful resource.

"...For me, reading this book was time well spent...." Read more

"This is one of the best books I've read in a while. The amount of research put into the studies is second to none...." Read more

"...That’s the most mean full part of the book...." Read more

"It's a great book it's give step by step how to heal your heart." Read more

25 customers mention "Forgiveness"25 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful in forgiving and being forgiven. It provides a framework that neatly outlines the process of forgiving and healing the heart. They say it's helpful for grieving, productive, purposeful, and liberating. The book brings up emotions and decreases fear, guilt, anger, depression, and anxiety.

"...This book provides clarity and structure to the process of forgiving...." Read more

"...I also like that it looks at forgiveness from a health standpoint...." Read more

"This is an excellent book on the topic of forgiveness, and more than just a "feel good", "Let's get into a positive place about hard..." Read more

"...in his writing and description on what forgiveness is/isn't, why we forgive, and detailed in his explanation on what the process is comprised..." Read more

7 customers mention "Writing clarity"7 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing clarity and conciseness of the book. They find it reads like a how-to manual, providing structure and clarity to the process of forgiveness.

"...This book provides clarity and structure to the process of forgiving...." Read more

"...It is important to be able to write your story, to answer the questions and then go back again and review them...." Read more

"...The author's clear and concise in his writing and description on what forgiveness is/isn't, why we forgive, and detailed in his explanation on what..." Read more

"...I breezed through the book, which reads like a how to manual in two days and have immediately been able to see my ex in a different light which has..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Phillip Legg, Author of: OWN THE JOB - 5 Surprising Strategies for a Thriving Early Career
    5.0 out of 5 stars Discover Hope Through Forgiveness
    Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Author Robert Enright, PhD, combines the integrity of proven science with the empathy and devotion of a personal therapist.

    This book provides clarity and structure to the process of forgiving. If you are looking for a quick read with a quick fix, bypass this book and search instead for the latest trends in pop-psychology. If not, please read on.

    Dr. Enright uses case studies and decades of test data to formulate a step-by-step guide with comprehensive
    journaling questions to enhance the reader’s personal experience. Here’s what you’ll learn:

    -The definitions of and differences between forgiveness, trust and reconciliation
    -How anger and resentment are managed in the forgiveness process
    -How to convert destructive thoughts into quieter, more healthful thoughts
    -How to regain self-respect through accepting your pain and giving the gift of mercy
    -Techniques to change how you remember the past
    -How to replace hopelessness with purpose

    For me, reading this book was time well spent. If your goal is to release your mind and body from the emotional prison of past injustices, Forgiveness is a Choice is the perfect choice for you.

    Phillip Legg
    Author of, OWN THE JOB - 5 Surprising Strategies for a Thriving Early Career
    30 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Andre
    5.0 out of 5 stars I really want to give it 10 stars!!!!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    This is one of the best books I've read in a while. The amount of research put into the studies is second to none. I also like that it looks at forgiveness from a health standpoint. The effects that unforgiveness has not only on your mental health but on your physical body is shocking. It's very practical. You will have to roll up your sleeves grab a note pad, a pen and do some real work. You will definitely uncover quite a bit; things that were tucked away and hidden in your heart begin to surface. Highly recommend this book to any and everybody who has ever been hurt by someone they love.
    27 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Jessica Soto
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful guide to forgive and be forgiven
    Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    I liked this book. I recommend that you write the journal and make the exercises. That’s the most mean full part of the book. It is important to be able to write your story, to answer the questions and then go back again and review them. I found that to be very helpful and key to be able to use this book as efficiently for me as it was possible.
    2 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • AmyD
    4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book if You Do the Work
    Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    This is an excellent book on the topic of forgiveness, and more than just a "feel good", "Let's get into a positive place about hard things" book -- this one offers a concrete, step-by-step, practical approach. I was really impressed with the studies they had done at universities and the results they achieved, even with people who started out by say, "No, what happened to me was too terrible. I will never forgive." But we all know (or we suspect) that not forgiving keeps us in a state of mental, emotional, and sometimes physical unwellness. So although we don't have to condone the acts we are looking to forgive, the forgiving heals us. However this is not the kind of book you can read through, give some thought to and be "done." It asks you to do lots of writing (which is critical to this working), sometimes what might seem like repetitive writing, and it takes work. And it asks you to think about, remember, and feel some hard emotions. It's not an instant fix. It's a process, a healing process you put time and work into, but the results will be worth it. Over the years, for various reasons, I have worked with several counselors and therapist. Lots of times I felt like they were nice to talk too, but didn't give me real skills to solve what I was facing. This book does, I think.
    24 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • RealRainbowGurl
    5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful & Integrative
    Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    This book has been incredibly essential to my forgiveness and healing with my partner and the recent death of my mother. It is thoughtful and thought-provoking; exquisite in how it addresses almost every issue and concern we face in our almost ethereal comprehension of forgiveness. It truly brings a tangible feeling to the 'how' we forgive. The author's clear and concise in his writing and description on what forgiveness is/isn't, why we forgive, and detailed in his explanation on what the process is comprised of.

    Before this book, I had no idea that in order to forgive we had to go through a very systematic process; forgiveness IS a step-by-step process for addressing the underlying issues of our anger and resentments, not just addressing and trying to resolve the anger/resentment itself.

    I am extremely happy with "happening" upon this book.
    7 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Bilal Ansari
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read, grateful for a clear process to learn forgiveness.
    Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    My restorative work in higher education came after years of prison ministry as a chaplain. The familiar feelings of bitterness and resentment were rife in academic institutions just as much as correctional institutions. This book provided me with a process of thinking about how to handle such divisive feelings and get others to join a restorative circle. This book is integral to my work in Campus Engagement among faculty, staff, and students.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • LiviaLuna
    3.0 out of 5 stars I forgave.. really!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    I was raised in a family where forgive was considered an act of weakness and a thing that is not doable. Studying spirituality and all the self help books that I red all of them (not to speak about religion) claims that forgiving is so necessary. I could not believe that this could be helpful or that I could do it. Now I'm here to say that I forgave.. really! And it feels so good! I have not finished the book I reached only a half of it and I forgave, something clicked and I feel so much better.
    Highly recomended

    Edit of 7.5.2015
    I had not really forgiven... it is not that automatic to me, still working on the subject
    11 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Wynn
    5.0 out of 5 stars Used, but excellent condition
    Reviewed in Canada on June 10, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    The book came promptly and is in excellent condition, just like promised. This book is an amazing resource for those looking to understand what forgiveness is and how to achieve forgiveness. It's well-written and is truly effective.
    Report
  • Disgusted of TWells
    5.0 out of 5 stars A book everyone can take something away from
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 8, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Growing up, I was never taught how to forgive people or even that it might be a good or honourable thing to do. Pretty much everyone in my family can hold a grudge like you wouldn't believe. I was never granted forgiveness and so I never particularly felt that others should be either. I recognised quite a long time ago that I had difficulty forgiving people, but I didn't identify the habit of resentment as a contributing factor to poor mental health until more recently.

    The impetus for me to buy this book was a very unpleasant conflict with a supervisor, which left me angry, distracted, and afraid to be myself or speak up around people. Over a couple of months I went through the book and wrote most of the recommended journal entries. I think this book has been a very good introduction to forgiveness and I will be returning to it as a reference in the future.

    There are many good points about this book: 1) It provides a clear, step-by-step guide that includes an important definition of forgiveness and an exploration of why it is NOT the same thing as forgetting, excusing or reconciling 2) The author gives examples of controlled studies (albeit small ones) that were used to test and refine the methods given 3) Many case studies are included, with a range of “offences” from the relatively small to what some would consider unforgivable 4) The author is very empathetic and does not dismiss the deep pain and anger felt by the reader, or for that matter the victims in case studies where the offence might be dismissed as trivial by others.

    One thing I do actively disagree with the author on is that he states family members should always attempt to reconcile unless it is dangerous to do so. I disagree with this because there are certain people (including family members) that I derive zero benefit from being around. It may not be physically dangerous, but it causes me considerable stress and sets back the progress I have made over many years. Also, who is considered a family member? What about a stepsibling or an in-law? An ex-spouse? A distant cousin? This one point of his seemed very out-of-step with his otherwise scientific and well-justified approach. I imagine it comes from his faith; this would be fine if he stated that it was his personal belief, but the reason is not given in the text.

    Overall I would heartily recommend this book to anyone. I have hope for a more forgiving world...
    Report
  • CaS
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good for the Soul
    Reviewed in Canada on October 28, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    We are using this book in a group setting and I is a wonderful resource. Much would seem to be common sense but I have observed that common sense is not all that common anymore.
    CaS
    Report
  • Cris
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 13, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I really like the book. It is never too late to learn simple things in life. Got it for a gift as well, and my friend enjoy it.
    Report
  • Angela M Putschli
    5.0 out of 5 stars Save your money, buy this book first!
    Reviewed in Canada on July 18, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Very straightforward, honest view, and detailed process. Easy to read and understand.
    Report

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