- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Thomas Nelson (January 28, 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0849964725
- ISBN-13: 978-0849964725
- Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.3 inches
- Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 111 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #90,769 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate Paperback – January 28, 2014
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About the Author
Dr. Jill Hubbard is a clinical psychologist and regular co-host on Christian radio's nationally-syndicated New Life Live program. Dr. Jill has gained a reputation for her gentle and insightful style of connecting with radio callers. She is also in private practice where she sees clients who struggle with depression, addictions, eating disorders, and relational and personal growth issues. Dr. Jill lives with her family in southern California.
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It is a journey for most of us to forgive abusive or neglectful parents, I've been a Christian for nearly twenty years, and only really just came to a place I could truly forgive my own father, but this book is really a gift to help us in that journey.
Very thankful for the authors and those who shared their own stories here. Thank you for witnessing.
When you have a parent who is so difficult that you say, "If they weren't my parent, I wouldn't have anything to do with them," you have no choice but to deal with issues in your own life or you will just repeat history. But as a follower of Jesus, who is commanded to forgive as He forgives, you wonder not just how on earth to forgive but also how to fulfill that commandment to honor your parents.
This book answers questions. It is well balanced in showing how to forgive biblically without excusing bad behavior and how to honor that difficult parent while simultaneously keeping healthy boundaries. The chapter on honoring the dishonorable parent was extremely helpful. The book talks about grace, and humility regarding our own failure. Also, and quite significantly, the authors acknowledge that forgiving will be an ongoing process, not something that happens just once.
Excellent, excellent book.
The author grapples with questions shared by most adult survivors of abusive or neglectful parents, such as, How can I honor dishonorable parents? Do we forgive for our own good or for the good of others? and, Why should we revisit painful memories once we have escaped them?
The compelling beauty of the book is in the author's honest reflections on her personal journey from hating and resenting the father who abandoned her to loving and forgiving him, even while he remained distant and unresponsive. Unexpectedly, her decision to obey God and forgive her earthly father ushered her into a deeper faith and understanding of her heavenly Father: "I know now that had I not listened and attended to this pull toward obedience, I would have missed the most staggering displays of God's character and heart. This is waiting for you as well" (p. 14).
I highly recommend the book to anyone who desires freedom from painful childhood memories and the tyranny of long-standing anger and resentment. The book offers sound advice for dealing with an unrepentant parent and also with unresolved grief and bitterness toward a parent who has already passed away.
The book is co-authored by psychologist Dr. Jill Hubbard, who adds comments and study questions at the end of each chapter. In my opinion, the book could stand very well on its own, but Dr. Hubbard's commentaries help to summarize and refocus the main points in each chapter. Her study questions nicely lend themselves to a group study of the book.