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C.S. Lewis

The Four Loves Paperback – September 29, 1971

by C.S. Lewis (Author)

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A candid, wise, and warmly personal book in which Lewis explores the possibilities and problems of the four basic kinds of human love- affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. “Immensely worthwhile for its simplicity...a rare and memorable book” (Sydney J. Harris).

Print length

156 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Harvest Books
Publication date

September 29, 1971
Dimensions

0.5 x 5.5 x 8 inches
ISBN-10

9780156329309
ISBN-13

978-0156329309
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The Four Loves summarizes four kinds of human love--affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. Masterful without being magisterial, this book's wise, gentle, candid reflections on the virtues and dangers of love draw on sources from Jane Austen to St. Augustine. The chapter on charity (love of God) may be the best thing Lewis ever wrote about Christianity. Consider his reflection on Augustine's teaching that one must love only God, because only God is eternal, and all earthly love will someday pass away:

Who could conceivably begin to love God on such a prudential ground--because the security (so to speak) is better? Who could even include it among the grounds for loving? Would you choose a wife or a Friend--if it comes to that, would you choose a dog--in this spirit? One must be outside the world of love, of all loves, before one thus calculates.

His description of Christianity here is no less forceful and opinionated than in Mere Christianity or The Problem of Pain, but it is far less anxious about its reader's response--and therefore more persuasive than any of his apologetics. When he begins to describe the nature of faith, Lewis writes: "Take it as one man's reverie, almost one man's myth. If anything in it is useful to you, use it; if anything is not, never give it a second thought." --Michael Joseph Gross

Review

"A rare and memorable book." —Saturday Review

"The Four Loves deserves to become a minor classic as a modern mirror of our souls, a mirror of the virtues and failings of human loving." —New York Times Book Review

"[Lewis] has never written better. Nearly every page scintillates with observations which are illuminating, provocative and original." —Church Times

"What is interesting about these chapters is the extent to which a non-believer can follow the argument and receive enlightenment … Lewis has a keen eye, a large measure of human sympathy, wit, and a command of simple words … By writing so well and so perceptively about ‘natural’ human conduct, Lewis makes the strongest case for examining his conclusions with respect. He is writing, presumably, for the unconverted as well as for Christians, and whatever the former may believe or disbelieve about God they are persuaded that he could only exist as a culmination in absolute terms of their deepest moral convictions."—Times Literary Supplement

From the Back Cover

"If wit and wisdom, style and scholarship are requisites to passage through the pearly gates, Mr. Lewis will be among the angels."--The New Yorker

In this candid, wise, and warmly personal book, C.S. Lewis gently reflects on the four basic kinds of human love--affection, friendship, erotic love, charity. He explores the promise and the perils of love between parents and children; love men share with other men and women with other women; love shared between men and women; and the love of and for God that deepens all love. Lewis also considers the questions of sex, possessiveness, jealousy, pride, false sentimentality, good and bad manners in loving, and the need for more laughter between lovers. There are risks that accompany the rewards of love, the author cautions, but he recommends taking them, since "the only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

"The Four Loves deserves to become a minor classic as a modern mirror of our souls, a mirror of the virtues and failings of human loving."--The New York Times Book Review

C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) gained international renown for an impressive array of beloved works both popular and scholarly: literary criticism, children's literature, fantasy literature, and numerous books on theology. The Four Loves is among his most celebrated achievements, as are Out of the Silent Planet, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Screwtape Letters, and Surprised by Joy.

About the Author

C. S. (Clive Staples) Lewis (1898-1963), one of the great writers of the twentieth century, also continues to be one of our most influential Christian thinkers. A Fellow and tutor at Oxford until 1954, he spent the rest of his career as Chair of Medieval and Renaissance English at Cambridge. He wrote more than thirty books, both popular and scholarly, inlcuding The Chronicles of Narnia series, The Screwtape Letters, The Four Loves, Mere Christianity and Surprised by Joy.

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0156329301
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harvest Books; First edition (September 29, 1971)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 156 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780156329309
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0156329309
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 4.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 0.5 x 5.5 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #557,082 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #764 in Christian Dating & Relationships (Books)
- #2,698 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #3,312 in Love & Romance (Books)

Customer Reviews:
802 ratings

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A University Prof

I love this book on love.

Reviewed in the United States on May 21, 2016

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A wonderful book written late in C. S. Lewis's career, and so reflects a greater sort of wisdom. As usual, he covers all the peripheral issues first, and seemingly in parallel, yet by the end of the book he ties all the elements together in a powerful essay. This is his reflection on love, both natural (as in coming from man's nature) and divine (coming directly from God), and in this way the book is timeless. There are, however, a few points dealing with friendly relationships between the sexes that may seem dated -- they are thoughtful and astute, but they are mostly reflective of a time in England when men and women rarely worked side by side. Yet, even here, Lewis is aware of the transitory nature of these conditions, and mentions that if these situations changed then the nature of the friendly interactions would also change. His general observations remained true regardless. This essay is not as easy to read as "Mere Christianity", but with patience I would think almost anyone who persevered to the conclusion should be able to understand and gain from it. It is very highly recommended.

24 people found this helpful

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Cerulaen

Kindle version easier to read, fantastic book overall

Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2018

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Love reading me some C.S. Lewis, and he's got some great insights in this book. Having it on Kindle was also really nice, since even though I've always been at an advanced reading level (because I've been obsessed with reading since I was 4), I definitely had to read through this slower to comprehend Lewis' often long-winded sentence structures, and being able to look up definitions at the tap of a finger undeniably made the read-through even quicker and more seamless.
I bought this version to read for a class since it was the cheapest option, and having the Chinese characters didn't hamper me in reading it at all, if anyone was concerned about that.
I definitely can't say I agreed with absolutely everything Lewis writes in this book, but overall, it's an absolutely fantastic read that I would encourage everyone to take some time to devour at some point in their life.

4 people found this helpful

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I wanted to read it again because I had enjoyed it so much

Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2017

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I read this book back in the 1980s when I was a senior in High School, I wanted to read it again because I had enjoyed it so much. It was well worth reading again. Dr. Lewis explores the topic of love in terms of need/gift love and pleasure. Later categorizes love into four topics based on the four different Greek words for love which are affection, friendship, eros, and charity. He is an academic, but he is also a Christian. The book is based on Christian beliefs and these beliefs are used to explain the topic of love. His writing style is wordy, yet it is easy enough to understand. He explains well what the different loves are and how they are important in our lives. If you are looking for a book that focuses on erotic love or the "Hollywood movie " love, you are better to find another book that panders to that kind of audience.

3 people found this helpful

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Trevor Neal

Four Loves review

Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2015

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In this classic C.S. Lewis, the celebrated author of 'the Chronicles of Narnia,' reflects on love. He begins by observing that at birth we all start out with need-love, needing gift-love. Gift-love is the kind of love the creator shows to the created, in the process of creating and taking care of the created. It is the love a mother bestows on her newborn child. In contrast, need-love is the condition of poverty that every created being begins with at birth. I feel this quote sums up the point Mr. Lewis was making about need-love, 'Man approaches god most nearly when he is in one sense least like God. For what can be more unlike than fullness and need, sovereignty and humility, righteousness and penitence.'

Mr. Lewis continues with a brief synopsis of things that we can show love for; these include others, nature, country, and finally, the transcendent creator. Dissecting each, he illustrates that love of nature, patriotism, etc. are inadequate receptacles of our love.

Next, Mr. Lewis looks at the different kinds of love which include affection, philios, eros, and charity or agape. Affection includes the love of parents for their child, love of our pets, etc. Philios is the love between friends. Eros is the love between two lovers. Finally, charity is the love of the creator towards the created and the return of that love by the created toward both the creator and creation.

Of all the loves, Mr. Lewis holds charity or agape in the highest esteem. All other loves fall short of Agape, as Mr. Lewis states in this quote, 'The (other) loves prove that they are unworthy to take the place of god by the fact that they cannot even remain themselves and do what they promise to do without god's help.' They are merely images of this 'charity or agape' which is both immanent and transcendent of creation. By placing our faith in images we are placing faith in what is transient and temporary. Yet, the love that is immanent and transcendent of creation is all encompassing, therefore imageless, and thus beyond human conceptual understanding..

To understand love in all of its aspects we need both the images of affection, philios, and eros as well as the transcendent for the images are stepping stones on our way up to this feeling of all encompassing love. Here, Mr. Lewis makes an important point about love when he states, 'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to him; throwing away all defensive armour.'

We have to feel love for the images in order to understand and feel the love of the transcendent. Yet, we cannot become entranced by our love for the images of the love immanent and transcendent of creation, because they like we are merely temporary, here one day, gone the next..

Mr. Lewis concludes with this point, 'Only those into which love himself has entered will ascend to love himself. We were made for god. Only by being in some respect like him, only by being a manifestation of his beauty, loving-kindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly beloved excited our love.'

Most of the time when we think about love we think about it in its aspect of eros. Mr. Lewis compelled me to contemplate love in all of its different manifestations, and through this reflection, to see that love is much more complex than what we frequently assume it to be. It is for these reasons that I consider this a classic read worth pondering.

18 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Sue Cartwright

Superb cognitive stimulation for the mind

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 15, 2018

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This book, as with all books of this kind, should be read at least three or four times to fully absorb its deep and enriching observations about life, or in this case love, it these four different connotations.

I approach this kind of writing in the same way as reading Shakespeare,. The first time reading without thinking too much about it in order to experience the essence of what's being said, enjoying the parts that resonate the most which for me were the sections on affection and friendship.

Whilst I didn't agree with some of the ideas such as women being stereotyped as housewives, and men and women not being able to have close, meaningful friendships, I loved the idea that 'affection has a very homely face' and that 'affection opens our eyes to the goodness we could not have seen, or should not have appreciated without.'

In terms of friendship, there is a lovely passage that captures the essence of a mutual interpersonal bond where 'one knows nobody so well as one's fellow ... an appreciative love of a singularly robust and well-informed kind.'

In another interesting vein, the author highlights how authority frowns on friendship, where real friendship is a rebellion 'of serious thinkers against accepted clap-trap or of faddists against accepted good sense; of real artists against popular ugliness or of charlatans against civilised taste; of good men against the badness of society or of bad men against its goodness.'

Fascinating, challenging and brilliant, superb cognitive stimulation for the mind.

7 people found this helpful

Grumpy Historian

Do not buy this version.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 16, 2020

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Why am I giving a C.S. Lewis book one star? Simply because this is not a book by him, its literally a 4 page biography of the author that has been copied and pasted from the internet.

The selling of this 4 page fake for £2.30 is a travesty. Don't be fooled and don't buy it. I'm reporting to Amazon in the hope they will take it down.

7 people found this helpful

Mlle. anonyme

Brilliant little book on some of the different types of love - according to CS Lewis. Essential reading!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 12, 2015

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Great book by CS Lewis on the different types of love. Brilliant for anyone seeking to deepend their understanding of various types of attachment and love as categorised by CS Lewis. For anyone new to CS Lewis, like myself, may be helpful to note that the book is written from a Christian perspective, which I personally rather liked despite not ascribing to the faith myself. I personally found that the Christian references were relevent to the content of the book, and really weren't overbearing or overly intrusive to the extent that it became annoying. See my five star recommendation! I would go so far as to say this book should be highly recommended as essential reading for anyone over the age of 16 as a good introductory text to the topic.

5 people found this helpful

S. Meadows

High expectations, mostly met

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 28, 2012

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The book does have a sort of introduction, but it thrusts the reader straight into Lewis' argument making it more like a first chapter than an outline of what the book is about. He wrestles a little with different types of loves as he defines them. He then goes on to try and break these down in relation to the likings and loves for things which are not human, with a particular focus given to the notion of patriotism.

The bulk of the book, though, is concerned with the 4 particular loves which the title implies. Namely, these are Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity.

Each of these is quite tightly argued by Lewis, very much in the same style as he wrote The Problem of Pain. They are also slightly surprising. In other writings from Lewis, he had always come across as very conservative, yet this collection has smatterings of some refreshingly liberal thought, particularly when it comes to sexuality.

The essay on friendship is the longest, at around 40 pages, with each of the others around the 30 page mark. It's not easy to summarise each one, so I won't try. But I'd recommend them to you. They are by no means holistic, but they are immensely thought provoking; for that alone, they are well worth the price of the book.

Yet I couldn't help feeling that the last chapter was a bit of a let-down. Through the first three essays, Lewis was keen to emphasise that for all the good that these loves are and do, that there is a risk of them `becoming gods' in our lives, which was leading up the last chapter where all would be subjugated under charity. Yet the chapter seemed to lack coherence and the argument seemed to fall apart.

That said, there is plenty of good, thoughtful writing here and I would recommend it. It's just that I had extremely high expectations and it fell short of it, like a high jumper failing to get over the pole vault bar.

3 people found this helpful

Great book!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 17, 2018

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Really nice book with a lot of detail and some examples about the four loves. I do wish C. Lewis went into a bit more detail about the importance of the different loves. Anyone looking for an insight into love should definitely pick up this book, you will learn a lot about yourself.

One person found this helpful

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