I really enjoyed this book! I'm a fan of personality types. So this was very interesting to me.
I tested as a Rebel and I must say that the chapter on my tendency was quite accurate. There were many aspects of the tendency that nailed me. There were also some aspects that were a bit off the mark though.
There were aspects of other tendencies that I could relate very strongly to as well. For example, I can sometimes be a fierce researcher complete with spreadsheets and analytical data and I will take forever to make a decision. ...very typical behavior of the "Questioner" type. Also, I have an extreme difficulty with saying "no". ...very typical behavior of the "Obliger" type. Those are just 2 examples but suffice to say, I kind of was a bit all over the map to a degree. The only type I really didn't relate to at all was "Upholder". As for the other 3 types, it's all VERY situational for me.
I will admit that the Rebel tendency does fit me best though and quite a lot of the information was VERY helpful and eye opening for me. I do feel as though I am a Rebel first and foremost. I do still feel as though there is SOME crossover between the types though and the author does seem to acknowledge that. So I don't believe that I can say that I disagree with the author's point of view. It's funny too because I always saw myself as easy going but this book actually helped me see that I can actually be quite combative and resistant in my own very unique way. I also got a lot of great ideas on how to better deal with the things in my life that regularly trip me up. For example, I struggle with finding ways to get through mundane tasks at work and there are some really creative methods suggested for this and other typical Rebel difficulties. I got a lot of great suggestions to help me actually WANT to do the things I sometimes struggle to find the motivation to push through. So, in that regard it was very helpful and I'm excited to try some of these ideas out.
One interesting thing I want to share is how this book helped me pinpoint my older brother's type. He is clearly an Upholder. Him and I sometimes struggle to see eye to eye and this book really helped me see why. His Upholder tendencies and my Rebel tendencies cause us to drive each other crazy whenever we have to join together to accomplish a goal. We get along great when we're just having fun and this book really opened my eyes as to why these difficulties exist for the specific situations and why they do not apply for others. There is also an Upholder at work that just drives me absolutely nuts and I suspect that I do the same to him. This book helped open my eyes to that situation as well. So, I really feel as though the ideas behind these tendencies certainly have a lot of validity, value, and use in the real world.
Speaking of Upholders and Rebels, I have to applaud the author for taking the time and effort to understand the Rebels. That is likely a difficult feat, yet she was able to be open minded enough to see the value and motivations behind the Rebels in a positive light. I find it especially admirable knowing that the author herself is an Upholder and she was able to see the positive in the Rebels. I imagine us Rebels can be a pain in the butt from time to time. I know we can be difficult.... BUT, and I can't speak for all Rebels, I truly do mean well. I want to be responsible. I want to be reliable. I want to be agreeable. ...The key word is "want". I think that is the key for any Rebel. As the author says ...we do what we want. That may sound superficial or selfish out of context, but some of us Rebels want things that are bigger than ourselves. Some of us simply want those that we love to be happy, or we want to do some good in this world. I think the author did a pretty good job of conveying that deeper and rather hidden motivation that many of us Rebels feel passionately about. This sort of "want" may be why some of us Rebels can relate to the tendencies of other types such as the Obligers. Our "wants" may coincide with what other tendency's natural inclinations. ...at least that's my take on it all.
I think I went on a tangent there, but I think the point is that this book has the potential to really open your mind and get your thinking pretty deep about human behavior, motivations, and relationships with people that are important to you. In a nutshell ...it's definitely worth a read. It was money well spent and I highly recommend you picking up a copy, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
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A great read for being more successful in managing yourself and others
I am a big fan of Rubin's other books: The Happiness Project, Happier at Home and Better than Before. I'm also an avid listener of her podcast: Happier. Given how much she's discussed the four tendencies, I wasn't sure there would be anything new in this book, but I was pleasantly surprised.Even if you have no interest in Personality Frameworks, Rubin's delightful storytelling voice will keep you engaged. Even if you don't think the Four Tendencies is a valid framework, you'll learn easily usable ideas to help you get yourself to do things and make your life better.I find Rubin's insights to be immediately applicable, both in managing myself and in the variety of people I work with. Rubin doesn't frame any personality type as bad or wrong, but rather the book is filled with ways to harness your natural tendency and get what you want from your life. This book has already helped me appreciate that I can tailor my communication to better reach people and get the results I want from myself and my business!
