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Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us Paperback – April 25, 1995

by Kate Bornstein (Author)

4.5 236 ratings

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“I know I’m not a man . . . and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m probably not a woman, either. . . . . The trouble is, we’re living in a world that insists we be one or the other.” With these words, Kate Bornstein ushers readers on a funny, fearless, and wonderfully scenic journey across the terrains of gender and identity. On one level, Gender Outlaw details Bornstein’s transformation from heterosexual male to lesbian woman, from a one-time IBM salesperson to a playwright and performance artist. But this particular coming-of-age story is also a provocative investigation into our notions of male and female, from a self-described nonbinary transfeminine diesel femme dyke who never stops questioning our cultural assumptions.

Gender Outlaw was decades ahead of its time when it was first published in 1994. Now, some twenty-odd years later, this book stands as both a classic and a still-revolutionary work—one that continues to push us gently but profoundly to the furthest borders of the gender frontier.

Print length

272 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Vintage
Publication date

April 25, 1995
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.75 x 8 inches
ISBN-10

0679757015
ISBN-13

978-0679757016
See all details

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“In an age of often hostilely expressed gender politics, Kate Bornstein . . . is sweet, sincere, lucid, and sometimes as corny as Kansas in August.”
—The New York Times

“A foundational voice. . . . Kate Bornstein is a historic figure in the queer and trans community.”
—The Huffington Post

“[Bornstein is on the] leading edge of contemporary debate about sexual identity and gender. [She] asks fundamental and challenging questions about what it means to be a man or woman in our society.”
—San Francisco Chronicle

“Gender Outlaw is an eye-opening book, combining the emotional force of a coming-of-age story with a savvy cultural critique.”
—Out

“A radical document.”
—The Nation

“While Bornstein covers an incredible range—from the ‘nuts and bolts’ of her surgery to more abstract musings on a brave new gender-free world—the book never stops fascinating. [She offers us] an abundance of questions—thoughtful, disarming, revelatory questions. Gender Outlaw is an invitation to a dialogue, and it’s a conversation well worth having.”
—Ms.

“Kate Bornstein argues eloquently and passionately for scrapping the categories of women and men. Agree. Disagree. Read it!”
—Leslie Feinberg, author of Stone Butch Blues

“The first book of gender theory written by a transgendered person . . . includes countless insights, trenchant cultural analysis, and generous wit. . . . [It] will surely become a classic.”
—Washington Blade

“Kate Bornstein celebrates the power of claiming an identity without getting mired in the tarpits of identity politics. A breath of fresh air, the best of both worlds, strong enough for a man, yet made for a woman.”
—Holly Hughes, performance artist

“Kate is an orgasm on two legs. Reading this book gives me a heart orgasm, and it could give you one too! Gender Outlaw is a great work of love.”
—Annie Sprinkle, performance artist

“Kate Bornstein is a fierce and funny voice on the front lines of gender and sexual identity. Her wise heart and wild imagination challenge us to really own our bodies, our desires, our dreams.”
—Tim Miller, performance artist

From the Inside Flap

of-age story, part mind-altering manifesto on gender and sexuality, coming directly to you from the life experiences of a transsexual woman, Gender Outlaw breaks all the rules and leaves the reader forever changed.26 black-and-white illustrations.

About the Author

Kate Bornstein divides their time between New York City and the Rhode Island shore. She can be seen in all episodes of Season 2 of the reality TV show I Am Cait. Their stage work includes the solo performance pieces The Opposite Sex Is Neither, Virtually Yours, and On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us. When not writing or performing, Kate can be found cuddling with Maui, following Doctor Who, prowling Twitter and Instagram, or playing pinball in their hometown of Asbury Park, New Jersey.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

first things first

(Note: for electronic purposes, the paragraph formatting in this excerpt has been simplified. The paperback and ebook editions contain the fully formatted text.)

I keep trying to integrate my life. I keep trying to make all the pieces into one piece. As a result, my identity becomes my body which becomes my fashion which becomes my writing style. Then I perform what I’ve written in an effort to integrate my life, and that becomes my identity, after a fashion.

1
Transgender Style
Some Fashion Tips

People are starting to ask me about fashion. I love that! Maybe they think the doctor sewed in some fashion sense during my genital conversion surgery.

I see fashion as a proclamation or manifestation of identity—so as long as identities are important, fashion will continue to be important. The link between fashion and identity begins to get real interesting, however, in the case of people who don’t fall clearly into a culturally-recognized identity—people like me. My identity as a transsexual lesbian whose female lesbian lover transitioned to gay male is manifest in my fashion statement—both my identity and fashion are based on collage. You know—a little bit from here, a little bit from there? Sort of a cut-and-paste thing.

And that’s the style of this book. It’s a trans style, I suppose. I can see it in the work of Susan Stryker, Sandy Stone, David Harrison . . . the list is getting longer and longer.

But the need for a recognizable identity, and the need to belong to a group of people with a similar identity—these are driving forces in our culture, and nowhere is this more evident than in the areas of gender and sexuality. Hence the clear division between fashion statements of male and female, between the fashions of queer and straight.

In my case, however, it’s not so clear. I identify as neither male nor female, and now that my lover went through his gender change, it turns out I’m neither hetero nor homo. What I’ve found as a result of this borderline life is that the more fluid my identity has become—and the less demanding my own need to belong to the camps of male, female, gay or straight—the more playful and less regimented my fashion has become—as well as my style of self-expression.

Will the identification with a trans writing style produce an identification with a trans experience?

Anyone who knows fashion will tell you that the operative word is accessorize! That’s how I dress in the morning. That’s how I shift from one phase of my life to the next—first I try on the accessories. And that’s also part of the style of this book: I’ve added some accessories here and there to spice it up a bit.

Welcome to my runway!

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Vintage; Reprint edition (April 25, 1995)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0679757015
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0679757016
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,439,383 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,106 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)
- #2,529 in LGBTQ+ Demographic Studies
- #3,121 in General Gender Studies

Customer Reviews:
4.5 236 ratings

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Kate Bornstein
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Kate Bornstein is a performance artist and playwright whose latest book was released May 1, 2012--a memoir, A QUEER AND PLEASANT DANGER, with the subtitle, "The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today."
Kate has authored several award-winning books in the field of Women and Gender Studies, including GENDER OUTLAW: ON MEN, WOMEN, AND THE REST OF US, and MY GENDER WORKBOOK which she is currently updating for a second edition after 15 years.
Her 2006 book, HELLO, CRUEL WORLD: 101 ALTERNATIVES TO SUICIDE FOR TEENS, FREAKS, AND OTHER OUTLAWS propelled Kate into an international position of anti-bully advocacy for marginalized youth which has earned her two citations of honor from the New York City Council and garnered praise from civil rights groups around the globe. Kate's books are taught in five languages in over 200 colleges and universities around the world.
Kate lives in New York City with her girlfriend, three cats, two dogs, and one turtle.
Photo Credit: Barbara Carrellas, 2012.
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S. Bear Bergman
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S. Bear Bergman is a multiple award winning author, storyteller and performer. After publishing six books, touring the US and Canada as a storyteller, winning audience choice awards at three consecutive US Gay & Lesbian Theatre Festivals, Bear has settled in to a life of mild-mannered parent by day and foul-mouthed Bad Fairy emcee by night. He also tells touching queer stories about home and family, gives stirring trans-pride talks to rouse a crowd, and enjoys finishing the day of work with a microphone in on hand and a brunet (preferably his husband) in the other.
See more on the author's page

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4.5 out of 5

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Susan Landy

Comments on Gender Outlaw

Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2009

Verified Purchase

The subtitle of the book is, "on Men, Women and the Rest of Us." Bernstein's book is not just about a man becoming a woman, but it puts into doubt the whole sex/gender system. Bernstein does not use the term, "biological sex," but refers to all gender identity as "gender": biology does not have any primacy. She pokes holes in the binary gender system by questioning why one has to be one or the other of these, or even remain stable in one gender. This "fluidity" is different from ambiguity, in which it is not clear at a given moment which gender one is. This book is liberating for those who feel they might not fit in no matter what kind of operation they had.

As the New York Times says, instead of being hostile about gender liberation, Bornstein is sweet, sincere, lucid. Her sometimes anthropological point of view is useful in lifting up age-old cultural assumptions about gender and orientations in a section she jocularly calls "The Rulebook." Gender can be assigned, attributed, there can be gender roles or an experienced identity. Bernstein suggests fifteen other models in addition to the usual gay, straight or bi- orientations. The list is fascinating, including: multiple partners models, differently-abled bodies models, reproductive models, models based on sex act preference...leading up to the heading of sex without gender.

After setting up the rules, Bornstein enthusiastically dismantles them. Are there solid definitions of male and female? In addition to the usual two sets of chromosomes there are five other sets. If gender equals what hormones you have, you could buy your gender at any pharmacy. In addition, she tells us several times that in some other cultures it is normal for someone born one gender to assume the gender of the other. She mentions more than once that a gender transformation often accompanies the process of becoming a tribal healer or shaman.

Bornstein namedrops many people of transgressive gender that you can look up - many of whom have written books. In addition, she provides a fascinating bibliography. Her questions are possibly the most interesting part of the book. "Do you `feel like a man'? Do you `feel like a woman'?" she asks. "What does a man feel like? What does a woman feel like?"

There are many other considerations like gender and politics, oppression, etc., but the list is too long for a short review. There is a play included which I did not think was very good although parts were interesting. Nevertheless, I would enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone interested in transgressive gender issues.

11 people found this helpful

Helpful

Rivkah Maccaby

In Your Face

Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2001

Verified Purchase

I've read many books on feminism and gender, most of the Ms magazine ilk, and all of one mind, spouting the message that William can have a doll, and Sally can be a doctor when she grows up. Mainstream feminism is carrying this message into the 21st century almost unchanged from the late 1960's. This type of book always leaves me feeling a little unsatisfied.
Kate Bornstein has written and book that attacks gender roles at the root, and not the flower. She is a male to female transsexual, in that she was identified as a boy at birth, and raised accordingly (there's a picture from her Bar Mitzvah), and was later surgically altered to look like a woman when she stands naked.
She has a woman's body, and a female name, and prefers the pronoun "she," but Bornstein does not claim a gender in the way gender exists as a social construct. Few things are as personal as gender, and no one has a right to dictate another person's gender, or even that a person claim a gender. She talks about men, and women, and everyone in between. The "everyone in between," however, are not sexless celibates nursing their melancholia in solitude; they are sexual beings like anyone else.
Bornstein, by dispensing with gender, opens up sexual possibilities that were previously unthought of. There's lots of sex in this book.
This book is not an apologetic for transsexualisn, or gender dysphoria. If anything, it is in your face regarding not only personal choices, but anyone who would dare to judge someone else's choices. This is not a plea for understanding, as books on transsexualism usually are, not a heart-breaking tale of emotional pain, rejection and confusion. Bornstein tells the truth of her story, and gives you the options of recognizing the truth for what it is, or continue living in a Fool's Paradise.
And in captivating narrative voice. Her style reflects her attitude, and you have no trouble hearing her in your head. This, to me, is the mark of a good author.

67 people found this helpful

Helpful

Marcy L. Thompson

Through a lens sideways

Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2001

Verified Purchase

Kate Bornstein has written a fabulous book about what it means to be differently gendered. Her experience of being male, being female, being something else entirely, has lead her to ask the question "What is gender, anyway?" This book is the beginning of an answer to that question.
Boornstein does not pretend to know the answers to the questions she raises. For the most part, the critical act in this book is raising the questions at all. And even when she has worked out an answer for herself, she is extremely clear (with herself and with the reader) that the boundaries of that answer pretty much end where her body ends and the rest of the world begins.
Her experience acts as a prism through which she views everything else about the world (about theatre, about "the lesbian community", about straight marriage, about loving, about medicine and therapy). Her sideways view of things that had previously seemed solid to me helped me re-orient my vision of the world as it is, and as it might be.
Come to this book with an open mind, and reading it will open your mind even farther. It is absolutely not required that you agree with everything she has to say, that you interpret her observations the way she does, that you experience the world the way she does. Whatever answers you find for yourself, traveling with this author through her world of questions is a ride which should not be missed.

18 people found this helpful

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Tarsis

practical

Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2013

Verified Purchase

This book is useful if you want to talk about gender with people who don't know much about Women's studies or Queer Theory. That being said, the play at the end is too much, and very repetitive.

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Miles v

Wow

Reviewed in Canada on January 19, 2024

Verified Purchase

She has a different way of looking at thing and i think that's nice i do like hearing the stories of older trans people overall definitely recommend

A

If you can read, read this.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 8, 2015

Verified Purchase

Well worth reading, regardless of who you are and what angle you're coming from. It is obviously not representative of everyone or even anyone other than the author, though is definitely one of the best books on the subject I've read so far, and has a lot of value, with a lot of ideas and interesting ways of seeing things - great to read as a trans person, and I suspect this could really help some cis people understand certain aspects of what it is to be trans, and think about it in a different way.

One person found this helpful

fashionweb_fit

サードジェンダーの旗手

Reviewed in Japan on March 29, 2003

Verified Purchase

性別適合手術を受けたトランスセクシュアルでありながら、自ら男でも女でもない第三ジェンダーに属しているという著者は、既存の性別概念にあてはまらないジェンダー・アウトローたちの、一人一人の生き方が、性別の二元制を崩していく、という。ジェンダーについて、GID医療についての斬新で新たな展望に満ちたトランスジェンダー論。
英語は中級程度。Q&Aやインタビューを交えており、理論書という感じでなく、読みやすい。

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Tusami

Amazing read

Reviewed in Canada on May 23, 2019

Verified Purchase

Amazing read and presentation. A must for those studying gender or in search of an interesting story.

Adrian.

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 29, 2016

Verified Purchase

Valuable eye opener into another world. Well presented and very readable

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