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The most banned book in Americanotlikemama

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Gender Queer: A Memoir Paperback – May 28, 2019

by Maia Kobabe (Author)

4.5 4,355 ratings

Part of: Gender Queer: A Memoir

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Stonewall Book AwardWinner, 2020

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2020 ALA Alex Award Winner
2020 Stonewall — Israel Fishman Non-fiction Award Honor Book

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.

Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." — SLJ (starred review)

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The award-winning, critically acclaimed bestselling graphic novel memoir from Maia Kobabe

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"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." ― School Library Journal (starred review)

About the Author

Maia Kobabe is a nonbinary, queer author and illustrator from the Bay Area, California. Eir first full length book, GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR, was published in May 2019. Maia's short comics have been published by The Nib and in many anthologies including THE SECRET LOVES OF GEEKS, FASTER THAN LIGHT Y'ALL, GOTHIC TALES OF HAUNTED LOVE, SHOUT OUT, ADVANCED DEATH SAVES and BE GAY, DO COMICS. Before setting out to work freelance full-time, e worked for over ten years in libraries. Eir work is heavily influenced by fairy tales, homesickness, and the search for identity.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oni Press; 1st edition (May 28, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1549304003
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1549304002
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.7 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #19,177 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in LGBTQ+ Graphic Novels (Books)
- #12 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)
- #34 in Educational & Nonfiction Graphic Novels

Customer Reviews:
4.5 4,355 ratings

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Maia Kobabe

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Maia Kobabe is a nonbinary, queer author and illustrator with an MFA in Comics from California College of the Arts. Eir first full length book, GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR, was published by Lion Forge Comics in May 2019. Eir work focuses on themes of identity, sexuality, anti-fascism, fairy tales, and homesickness. Maia's work can be found on instagram @redgoldsparks, patreon.com/maiakobabe and redgoldsparkspress.com.

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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful and educational, with important messages for everyone. They describe the narrative style as relatable and honest, with a good explanation of feelings. Many find the content heartwarming and touching. The perspective on gender identity is appreciated, with the author exploring their journey to discover their sexual identity. Readers praise the author's character as brave and inspiring. The graphic novel format is praised as accessible and amazing.

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Insight Narrative style Heartfelt content Gender identity Author's character Graphic novel format Age range Graphic content

159 customers mention "Insight"154 positive5 negative

Customers find the book insightful, educational, and informative. They say it conveys the author's experiences and emotions effectively. The book is helpful for confused children and provides a perspective of life that many are unfamiliar with. It's also a wonderful guide for people who know someone struggling with gender identity.

"...Through eir story, you get a crash course in gender diversity...." Read more

"...The story is deeply personal and covers the landscape of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic..." Read more

"...and sexual identity struggles young people face, this book will be informative and helpful...." Read more

"...This book opened my mind to a different way to look at gender...." Read more

100 customers mention "Narrative style"100 positive0 negative

Customers find the memoir relatable and honest. They appreciate the author's detailed account of their experiences, including feelings and how they want to be perceived. Readers describe the story as poignant, engaging, meaningful, and educational. The book is described as boldly honest and insightful.

"...It's real, it's raw, and it's incredibly relatable. This graphic novel is all about Kobabe's personal journey...." Read more

"...The story is deeply personal and covers the landscape of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic..." Read more

"...although even for cisgender and heterosexual readers the memoir is surprisingly relatable...." Read more

"...I enjoyed reading it and I did so in one sitting. It was validating to read someone else having similar doubts and struggles and realizations about..." Read more

55 customers mention "Heartfelt content"52 positive3 negative

Customers find the book heartwarming and touching. They appreciate the author's ability to convey feelings of teens and young adults. The book shares Maia's emotional journey and is a great introduction into the angst of discovering who you are. Readers find it an emotional call to remember our shared humanity and confusion.

"...It's like a warm hug and a wake-up call all rolled into one. So grab a copy, settle in, and get ready to see the world in a whole new light." Read more

"I just finished reading Maia's amazing book. It's a fast, fun and at times poignant read...." Read more

"...Instead, this sensitive and well-rendered memoir inspires compassion and empathy with its depiction of a compelling real-life (and ongoing) coming-of..." Read more

"...Accepting. Maia was fun and reminded me of many of my students when I taught 8th grade...." Read more

30 customers mention "Gender identity"27 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the book's perspective on gender identity. They find it a brave exploration of the author's gender and their journey to discover their sexual identity. The story is described as genderfluid, making it a wonderful resource for gender non-conforming teens. Many readers describe the book as a vulnerable window into the soul of a queer person.

"...Ey break down stereotypes and show that gender isn't just black and white – it's a whole rainbow...." Read more

"...of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic fantasy, masturbation, pleasure, dating, relationships..." Read more

"...This is a vulnerable window into the soul of a queer person and can bring comfort to those in the community and understanding to those that..." Read more

"...How refreshing to read someone who is so open and frank about their identity and the whole complicated journey of self-discovery...." Read more

23 customers mention "Author's character"23 positive0 negative

Customers find the author's character brave and inspiring. They appreciate her vulnerability and openness in revealing her personal journey. The book feels vulnerable yet strong and hopeful, with the author explaining her thoughts and internal struggles clearly.

"...It's inspiring stuff that'll make you want to live your truth too. The artwork is stunning too...." Read more

"...the narrative to focus on what is most important - the author's personal journey." Read more

"...E did an incredible job of sharing eir experience so that someone who has not been through what ey are going through can understand...." Read more

"...As another reviewer wrote, I was so fascinated & touched by Maia's struggle, by eir drawings & by eir words that I read this book in one sitting...." Read more

20 customers mention "Graphic novel format"20 positive0 negative

Customers find the graphic novel format engaging and accessible. They say it gives them more insight into someone's mindset and is inspirational. The comic book format also makes it educational for allies of trans and non-binary people to read.

"...A graphic novel is the right medium for this, and e does a high-quality and effective job covering the ground...." Read more

"...understood, then I highly suggest reading this magnificent piece of cartoon style literature. I can’t sing enough praises for this book...." Read more

"Graphic novel memoir + queer rep!..." Read more

"Wowza! This is, hands down, my favorite graphic novel, to date. It was also the most banned book of 2022...." Read more

35 customers mention "Age range"17 positive18 negative

Customers have different views on the book's age range. Some find it suitable for mature middle school children and up, while others say it's not appropriate for young readers under the age of 17. The graphic content may be confusing for young readers and would not be appropriate in a children's library or school.

"...of this book, especially given that this book is intended for high school and older aged readers (rated for 14+)...." Read more

"...with this book being available to adults, but it has no place in even a high school library...." Read more

"...This is a beautiful, meaningful, educational, thoughtful book for all ages. I read recently that it's getting banned...." Read more

"...This has been attacked as indoctrination and unsuitable for children, but it isn't written for children, only for ages 18 and up...." Read more

33 customers mention "Graphic content"17 positive16 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the graphic content in the book. Some find the illustrations fantastic and capture emotions well, drawing them into the world with every page turn. Others mention there are a few explicit graphics and images that are quite graphic, but they're not offensive.

"...The artwork is stunning too. Kobabe's illustrations capture the emotions perfectly, pulling you into eir world with every page turn...." Read more

"...More than one of the images is quite gruesome and will provide a shock if your not mature enough or one who is sensitive to violent images...." Read more

"...Thirdly, this book and this author gave voice (and amazing illustrations) to my younger, confused self. Thank you for that...." Read more

"...experiences well past undergrad but with the linguistic artistry of a high school student. Things were getting repetitive...." Read more

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Lydia
Must read for anyone
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2024
Verified Purchase

Maia Kobabe's "Gender Queer: A Memoir" is like sitting down with a close friend and hearing eir deepest thoughts on gender identity. It's real, it's raw, and it's incredibly relatable.

This graphic novel is all about Kobabe's personal journey. Ey don't hold back, sharing the highs and lows of figuring out eir gender identity. It's refreshing to read something so honest and down-to-earth.

But it's not just about Kobabe. Through eir story, you get a crash course in gender diversity. Ey break down stereotypes and show that gender isn't just black and white – it's a whole rainbow.

What really shines through is Kobabe's courage. Despite the struggles and doubts, ey embrace who ey are with unapologetic confidence. It's inspiring stuff that'll make you want to live your truth too.

The artwork is stunning too. Kobabe's illustrations capture the emotions perfectly, pulling you into eir world with every page turn.

In short, "Gender Queer" is a must-read for anyone curious about gender identity. It's like a warm hug and a wake-up call all rolled into one. So grab a copy, settle in, and get ready to see the world in a whole new light.

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4 people found this helpful

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David J. Langrock
Brilliant and poignant -
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2023
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I just finished reading Maia's amazing book. It's a fast, fun and at times poignant read.

Gender Queer is a memoir in which Maia tells of how e grew up and learned to make space to live, thrive and find joy outside rigidly defined boundaries of gender and sexuality in American dominating culture. The story is deeply personal and covers the landscape of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic fantasy, masturbation, pleasure, dating, relationships, sex, childbirth, and marriage.

I found these landscapes familiar, and the episodes and internal dialogues relatable even when the particulars were so very different from my own experiences. The stories are at different times funny, cringe-inducing, sweet and painful. By the end I felt like I had gotten to know Maia and some of the people in eir life. I developed an empathy for em, which is really what the point of the memoir was, I suppose.

Gender Queer is an important book at this moment especially for cisgender folks like myself. Dominating cultures always tell people who aren't happy with the structures forced upon them that they are confused (or worse). Ironically, these cultures often flatter themselves as championing liberty. Those that wish to work for liberation must learn to empathize and listen to one another. Cisgender people must listen to and develop empathy for gender queer (and more broadly trans and all non-binary) folks if we have any aspirations for liberation for all.

Maia's story is a gift for those that will listen. Thank you Maia!

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17 people found this helpful

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***
About sex? Yes, but that misses the point.
Reviewed in the United States on May 21, 2022
Verified Purchase
Porn? No. This book does indeed contain some sexual content for which elementary and middle school kids will not yet have context. However, high schoolers and up will not have any special puerile interest in it. They will already have giggled over much more explicit material on the internet, although that will have been ugly and devoid of meaning. Instead, this sensitive and well-rendered memoir inspires compassion and empathy with its depiction of a compelling real-life (and ongoing) coming-of-age story.

For all people, this period in life involves a changing understanding of what it means to inhabit one’s maturing body and to be one's gender, and an anxious concern with what potential sexual relationships one might (or might not) ever have with others. Self-worth seems in doubt, and there is the uncertain hope for acceptance and support from society, for true friends, and for a committed, loving partner. For a nonbinary and bisexual or asexual person, this journey is particularly fraught, although even for cisgender and heterosexual readers the memoir is surprisingly relatable.

If you want or need to understand more about the very real and actually common gender and sexual identity struggles young people face, this book will be informative and helpful. For some readers it will probably be life-saving in an almost universally rejecting world; for their sakes I applaud Kobabe’s personal bravery in producing and sharing it. A graphic novel is the right medium for this, and e does a high-quality and effective job covering the ground. Buy it, read it, speak well of it, and become a better person for understanding those different from you; or perhaps for understanding that there is so much the same between you and them, private thoughts about sex and all.

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22 people found this helpful

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Reader Lady
My Musings
Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
I try to be an open minded person and not just accept things at face value. While watching a news channel, I heard about this book and at first I was appalled. I'm A 71 year old Christian female., but again I want to understand and accept people for, who they are and not what I believe they should be. This book opened my mind to a different way to look at gender. While I don't believe this book should be available in school libraries, I could see it as helpful to anyone who has gender confusion as this author experienced. It is a book that should be available, just not in a school library. It would be better if educators who notice a student struggling with gender identification to reach out to the parents and mention this as a book for their child. That way the parent still remains the decision maker to their underage Child's reading material. Happy reading!

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31 people found this helpful

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Cassandra
Really good
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2024
Verified Purchase
As a queer person, I identified with a lot of what the author describes in this memoir. I enjoyed reading it and I did so in one sitting. It was validating to read someone else having similar doubts and struggles and realizations about themselves. As someone who doesn't fit well into boxes, and even less so as time goes on, I really appreciate the questioning and experimentation and discoveries over time. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

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ShenS
If you are considering it, get it.
Reviewed in Canada on June 6, 2023
Verified Purchase

Tbh I heard of it because it was the most banned book. My only regret is that I didn't read it sooner. I wish i had read it when I was 15 and confused af, or 19 and met the person who became my ex-spouse. i wish i read it when i was a kid to know I wasn't the only one. It is very relatable. if you are any part of the LGBTQIA+ community, if you are an ally, or even if you are just a little different, this is a book you want to read.

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Lisandra
I've never have felt more seen!
Reviewed in Brazil on November 3, 2021
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Even tough not all of eir experiences are the same as mine, so many of them were! Some were the first time I've seen someone have the same questions and doubts as me, especially in my teenager years. And even if you don't go to read it for that it's all very informative, sweet and funny.
P.s: trigger warning: there are 2 instances of medical related trauma, plz read with caution.

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Stephy
Wichtiges Buch
Reviewed in Germany on January 19, 2025
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Ich musste mir das Buch einfach auf Englisch holen (mittlerweile gibt es auch die deutsche Übersetzung). Es ist einfach ein wichtiges Buch zum Thema, die eigene (sexuelle) Identität zu erkennen. Gerade für Jugendliche empfehle ich das Buch.

Maia Kobabe bietet hier einen sehr persönlichen Einblick in die Gefühlswelt und Probleme die bei der Suche/Entdeckung auf jemanden zukommen.

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Alice U
dolce
Reviewed in Italy on March 28, 2023
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è un racconto intimo, semplice e tenero sulla ricerca della propria identità, anche in rapporto all'ambiente in cui si cresce. Si legge in un pomeriggio

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Sébastien Morgan
Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique
Reviewed in France on September 26, 2022
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Ce livre est un témoignage sincère, bourré d humour et de moments émouvants. Il permet d ouvrir la réflexion d une façon simple, complète et pédagogique. Un must have pour tous ceux qui veulent sortir de la binarité et reconnaître la richesse de la sexualité humaine.

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5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for anyone

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant and poignant -

5.0 out of 5 stars About sex? Yes, but that misses the point.

4.0 out of 5 stars My Musings

5.0 out of 5 stars Really good

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars If you are considering it, get it.

5.0 out of 5 stars I've never have felt more seen!

5.0 out of 5 stars Wichtiges Buch

4.0 out of 5 stars dolce

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique

Must read for anyone

Brilliant and poignant -

About sex? Yes, but that misses the point.

My Musings

Really good

If you are considering it, get it.

I've never have felt more seen!

Wichtiges Buch

dolce

Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique