Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve Kindle Edition

I'll preface this by saying the few dating/relationship books I've flipped through or read descriptions for often come across as very condescending to women. This is especially true if meant to unveil the "male mind" and give it to us straight - the "ugly truth" type of stuff. They make women feel bad for being women. You come away from just one little paragraph feeling like men essentially don't like women (beyond the physical). We're told we need to be more feminine, but also think like men, less clingy, but not too independent - etc. Here is a book which focuses less on how women need to change their nature, needs, desires, etc, as if we're hopelessly incompatible with men by nature, and instead it focuses on social skills & positive thinking modes for attracting & developing relationships with compatible men we actually like & who are worth OUR time & energy.

None of this is earth-shattering, mind-blowing secrets that will give you some epiphany on love & life. Instead, it reads like common sense, the kind many of us missed the memo on, so that it's not so "common" after all.

This book doesn't insult your intelligence, berate you for being a woman, tell you that you have to compromise your values, or leave with some sick feeling that manipulation of men & dishonesty with your own feelings/needs is the "secret".

The explanations of male thinking is also not "boys will be boys" trash that insists sexist and misogynistic behaviors are simply "biological" for men & have to be tolerated by women. Instead of making excuses, the author manages to be honest & fair in describing common male mindsets & how & why certain negative attitudes/behaviors are triggered (much as stereotypical female negative behaviors can be triggered by crappy moves on a guys' part). Since a relationship is a dynamic, it's only fair to adjust what you can control - yourself. So you learn very subtle methods to hone your social & dating skill to basically COMMUNICATE in a way that men in general will grasp correctly.

This is why the book had some good advice & was worth the read - the basic idea is how to communicate who you are, how you feel, and what you expect accurately & in a way that is understood by men. So it's not about changing who you are so much as really communicating it more clearly. If you're the kind of girl whose friends & family & co-workers wonder why you're single because they think you're the bees knees, but for someone reason men you meet/briefly date aren't valuing you the same way, then this might be a helpful read. You're probably not sending the signals which communicate who YOU are correctly; you're leaving false & bad impressions. So the book is really about being MORE yourself with communication that others understand & which creates the desired effect.

A book which is founded on ideas about good communication & keeping integrity is one whose advice I feel I can trust & recommend. It has a "win-win" approach that doesn't degrade men or women - how to get what you desire/need while giving someone else what they desire/need too. Building mutually satisfying relationships is the goal, not manipulating your dream man into marrying you (blech - what an idea!).

I appreciate that this book is about subtle nuances too. Often we don't know what we do wrong because it's not anything big but a subtle signal, and we don't know why our positive signals are ignored & that's because they are TOO subtle. This advice rang true because I've noted men in general communicate more with action & are generally MORE sensitive than women, meaning they need LOUDER positive signals & SOFTER negative ones. The author refers to this as the "fragile male ego" which is really SENSITIVITY.

It also rang true that we tend to attract someone when not interested in them because we're being our authentic selves - so how do we replicate that comfortable inner state & natural outer state so we can be our best, authentic selves when interacting with someone we are attracted to? How can we communicate that quickly, when we may have a few hours, minutes, seconds even to inspire a guy to pursue us? This book gives basic tips on how to do that.

I emphasize this book is very basic. Do not expect an epiphany. A lot of it may feel like reminders of things you know, deep down, but often forget or even compromise consciously.

A downside: the book directs you to online videos for more "secrets" which are really just teasers which lead you to another video they want you to pay for. I can see this as being an endless goose chase designed to keep you hooked & shelling out money while learning very little. I'd have more respect for the author & brand if they took a less scam-like approach. The video they want you to buy has a long intro to sell it which does the classic "play on women's insecurities & promise grand secrets to solve all of their romance problems in a matter of days" approach, one which many dating gurus do. I find it borderline insulting & I naturally expect it to under-deliver with super obvious "insight" repeated ad nauseam just as the rest seem to. This approach is unfortunate & detracts from a brand that has the potential to be more positive & actually useful, as opposed to the insulting junk I described at the outset.

So don't expect too much & don't shell out a lot of money. There are basic principles here which are useful as reminders & to polish your social & dating skills, but no more than that.

I have heard Matthew Hussey speak on the radio and I was looking forward to reading his book, bu I was dissapointed to learn that after every chapter I had to sign in to the websiteand become a paid member in order to look t th video that accompanied each chapter......I felt thi was more of a pay as you go long "help book" than anyhing else.......I was extremely dissapointed and expected more from the author.......

I'm embarrassed to say that I was dumb enough to be conned by a slick snake oil salesman. That's all he is. A cute , energetic , great salesman. Save your money , you already know all of his so called "secrets" and "tips".There's no wonder to me that he himself cannot retain a partner. I bought this and 2 others from his company .What a waste of my hard earned money!!
And do not , under ANY circumstances order directly from his "empire's" site ! His company illegally keeps your payment method on file and you WILL start getting random fraudulent charges for his other crap, "coaching" bs and all of his other nonsense , while entertaining , is as useless as this book .

This book's approach reminds me of that old Steve Martin comedy bit, "How you can have one MILLION dollars, and NEVER pay taxes...first, get a million dollars. Now---"

The book is described as providing dating tips that still let *you* be *you*, and don't require any gamesmanship to meet and keep a quality man; neither claim turns out to be true. In a nutshell, the book's how-to can be boiled down to this:

1. Get an amazing, irresistible life.

2. Be an amazing, irresistible person.

3. Stop being insecure.

4. Chat and flirt with everything that moves, employing these specific strategies, types of come-ons, text messages and actions (which may totally seem like gamesmanship and manipulation, but trust the author, it's not).

Follow those four simple steps and success is assured. Here's an actual excerpt from the book---I'm not kidding. If you're drinking anything, put the cup down *now* or your keyboard will be drenched in a few seconds:

"The reason a guy gets hooked on one woman is not because she is *just sexy*, or *just playful*, or *just certain*, or *just feminine*, or *just bursting with integrity*, but because she possesses a unique combination of traits: the girl who is warm, has integrity, and can charm his family, then rips his clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual goddess; the girl who is playful with his friends, can debate politics like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday watching movies and eating pizza; the girl who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is feminine and loving with her man. Women like this cause an alarm to go off inside a guy's head and heart. Keep her, he thinks. This one's amazing!"

...and if she existed as a real person, she wouldn't be reading this book. I could just as easily advise guys seeking dating advice:

"The reason a woman gets hooked on one man is not because he is just sexy, or just playful, or just certain, or just masculine, or just bursting with integrity, but because he possesses a unique combination of traits: the man who is warm, has integrity, and can charm her family, then rips her clothes off in the bedroom and is a sexual god who's willing to invest all the time she needs in foreplay; the man who is respectful with her friends, can fix things around the house and in the garage like a pro, but knows how to enjoy a lazy Sunday at the museum or craft fair; the guy who is independent, kicks ass out in the world, but is gentle and loving with his woman and lavishes attention on her. Men like this cause an alarm to go off inside a woman's head and heart. He's just a character in a romance novel, she thinks. Be more realistic!"