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Get Laid or Die Trying: The Field Reports Hardcover – March 29, 2011

4.0 out of 5 stars 62 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

And that’s when it happens. I see him there, Tyler, standing before me in the street like obi-wan, smirking at me with his motorcycle jacket and his sunglasses. He says, “DUDE. you KNOW what you have to do. Go to that fuckin’ bar, blow that moron out, pull the girl to Club Jeffy and FUCk HER, man! Eh?! OH MAN!” He brings his hands up, finger guns a-blazin’, nodding wildly.
Yeah, I think, nodding along with him. YEAH. I rise to my feet and take a deep breath, brushing myself off. I turn around and march directly to the Phone Bizzle.
I walk in and sure enough, lisa’s at the end of the bar with the guy. I go to the other end of the bar, order a drink, and pop open a four-set with (what else) THUG LOVIN’, so I’m not just standing there alone like “Follow-Man.” I text message her, “Turn around.”
I see her look at her phone, then she peers around. When she sees me, she shrieks and runs over. “you came!” she sits down and is quite drunk and affectionate. I start rubbing her.
I introduce her to the four girls I’ve been talking to. She buys shots and we start slamming them. I’m busting out CRAZY rapport shit, like getting VERY DEEP and SERIOUS. “I like you for you. you know that, I always have. Just you. you know I care about you, right? You don’t have to put a show on for me, baby. You know that. I’m here for you now, and I’m here for a reason. I don’t know what that is, but I just want to make you feel beautiful, all the time.” BOOM. Makeout.
She’s totally into it, but at the same time she keeps running back and forth between the other guy and me. It’s crazy, she’s literally going from one end of the bar to the other every five minutes. I phase-shift and we start making out. Yet she still goes back over to the dude.
She comes back to me as the bar closes down, saying, “I don’t know who I’m going to go home with!”
I tell her, “let’s cuddle, I have whiskey dick anyway, nothing will happen. Besides . . . you KNOW I’m cooler than that dode.” This might sound like I was qualifying myself, but it wasn’t really the case, since the statement was in actuality glaringly obvious. I mean, fuck, dude . . . I’m jlaix.
She says, “yes!” as the lights come up, but that dude is still there with his friend, waiting.
Janet’s been standing there the whole time, and now she says, “This is fucking scandalous, Jeff. what happens now?”
I turn to her and say, “What happens now? Tug-of-war. Pay attention Janet, we’re playin’ the game!” Indeed.
We go outside, the guy and I look at each other, sizing each other up. we both know what the fuck is happening here. Heheh! Here we go, fucker! We all start walking toward Janet’s car. Lisa is walking with the other guy, hand in hand. I know I have to do something. What that is, however, I have no idea. Somebody starts talking about nicknames, and Lisa says, “What’s my nickname?!!”
Before anyone can answer, I blurt out, “Drunken slut!”
Everybody goes, “OHHHH!!! DAMN!!” Lisa shrieks, runs over to me and starts pawing at me. Yes. I put my arm around her, and put her on my back for a piggyback ride.
She announces to the group, “all right! I’m going home with JEFFY!!!”
We get to the car and the girls start making calls looking for drugs. I walk over to the guy and his friend and ask, “What’s your name, man?” He tells me it’s John. I shake his hand and say, “Good game, man.”
He just laughs and says, “Yeah, you won.” I talk with them for a bit; they are actually pretty cool. Tall, good-looking guys with no game.

© 2011 Real Social Dynamics

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books (March 29, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1451620896
  • ISBN-13: 978-1451620894
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1.2 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #443,266 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is a very very boring book. Maybe its one of the few books that i couldnt even finished reading it. Nine ball is much more entetraining and it has an order that you will like if you like books like The Game (But i have to say that The game is by far the most enttraining book). Its not about techniques but about field reports with no pickup or "natural" advice. But its so dull and boring ... i reallt cant understand the good reviews. Its not even a book that i dont like. Its a book that i really hate.
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Format: Hardcover
This book earns two big stars because i) Jeffy is an eloquent writer. Credit where it's due, I enjoy his style a lot.
ii) I know he has helped plenty of guys develop themselves in positive ways. Building social skills, having the confidence to initiate lots of interactions with new people, many of the PUA community skills can help guys achieve more fulfilling and mutually respectful relationships, while having a ton of fun in the process.
Also he displayed strength of character after some harrowing formative experiences: meditation, affirmations, determination are some of the commendable tools used to move past the trauma.

But there the praise ends. We can go through life having a positive or damaging effect on others. Jeffy too often resorts to the latter. Yes the group norms of PUA can condone this, derive a twisted rationale for it, but ultimately this guy amplifies the pain and damage in the world rather than mitigating it. So whatever his other attributes, on first principles this is a cautionary tale of a how a warped life can to some extent heal itself while in the process inflicting more hurt on others.

This is not a knee jerk reaction to the lifestyle. If someone wants to go and screw thousands of women consensually then more power to them. Yet that goal is not an excuse to behave like a wretched animal and leave a long line of people disturbed and potentially damaged in your wake. Who damaged more people, Jeffy's father through his crazy actions, or Jeffy on his quest to be a player who just doesn't give a damn? I don't just mean the girlfriend he screwed over, many people do shameful things in relationships, this is sad but doesn't warrant much comment.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
After purchasing Jeff Allen's other book entitled "Nine Ball" for an insane amount of $ and relatively enjoying it last year, I was anxious to see what his new book had in store. I purchased it immediately for my Kindle and was sorely disappointed to find that it was virtually the same book with the name changed (looked but couldn't find any reference or warning to this anywhere on any website). I believe there has been some editing and whatnot done but there is not much new here. I'm giving it a lower review mainly because A) I didn't find the book that magnificent, and B) I feel like I was ripped off by it not stating that it was basically just "Nine Ball v1.01".

It is a decent book though. Far more entertaining than Mystery's latest book. Sometimes it seems as though Jeff tries a little too hard to throw in elaborate words and sentences to mimic a Chuck Palahniuk novel. He just goes a little overboard in trying to create shock value in a way that flatly comes out corny. This doesn't surprise me though as his boss has adapted the name Tyler Durden from Chuck's book "Fight Club".

The book sucks you in at the beginning but in the second half and near the end it drags on at an almost painful pace. I will however say that I found the book entertaining. Don't expect a bunch of "pick-up tactics". This is more of a narrative similar to "The Game". In fact, I would say it is more like "The Game"'s evil, less intelligent twin. The character's besides Jeff aren't particularly colorful, and at times it felt like just the memoirs of an angst ridden teen.

However, all criticism aside, if you enjoyed "The Game" and books by Chuck Palahniuk you will probably find this book not too difficult to read. Although you may suffer from plenty of Deja Vu moments.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
What I expected:
- An awesome, amazing read.
- Lots of info on how to pick up chicks, that I haven't seem before.

What I got:
- An awesome, truly fascinating read.
- NO INFO on how to pick up chicks. No techniques. Not at all.


What I expected:
- An awesome, amazing read.
- Lots of info on how to pick up chicks, that I haven't seem before.
- THE SAME THING AS "The Nine Ball".

What I got:
- A boring book.
- No info on how to pick up chicks-- just worthless bragging.
- "The Nine Ball" with ALL the good chapters taken apart, left only useless ones.


Get "The Nine Ball". This book IS a masterpiece. This book will fascinate you like "The Game" did.

"Get Laid or Die Trying" is crap.
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