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Getting Past Perfect: How to Find Joy and Grace in the Messiness of Motherhood (A Catholicmom.Com Book) Paperback – March 3, 2017
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"For every mom who struggles and wonders if she's the only one, Kate Wicker is a sorely needed voice of humor, realism, wisdom, and encouragement. Learn to let go, get past perfect, and let this gem of a book soothe your weary soul!" --Danielle Bean, Publisher of Catholic Digest and author of Small Steps for Catholic Moms
"From the moment I cracked open this book, I fell in love with it. Kate Wicker captures the beautiful, painful reality of motherhood perfectly as she guides those fortunate enough to read her words on a journey to discover the peace that surpasses all understanding. This book is a must read for all mothers and those who love them." --Hallie Lord, SiriusXM radio host and author of On the Other Side of Fear
"This book reminds us that each one of us is called to be the best mom we can be, embracing our imperfections along the way. It's all about trust in Christ." --From the foreword by Rachel Balducci, Catholic journalist, author, and cohost of The Gist
"Kate Wicker is a myth buster on motherhood. Taking on many false truths Catholic moms hold dear, she unveils the unvarnished grace of the muddled and beautiful vocation of Catholic motherhood. This book is a must read for all Catholic women, whether they are mothers in body or in spirit." --Mary Lenaburg, Catholic writer, blogger, and speaker
"'Bloom right where you're planted.' That's what you'll want to do after reading Wicker's book about motherhood, friendship, and how to grow closer to Christ. Learn how to avoid being a martyr mom and how to work on your 'momraderie.' Reading this book is like having a cup of tea with a new friend!" --Sterling Jaquith, Catholic blogger and author of Catholic Mom Challenge
"Getting Past Perfect will make you feel like you have a best friend, cheerleader, and spiritual director right at your fingertips. Kate Wicker does an outstanding job of empathizing with the daily rigors of motherhood while celebrating the triumphs and encouraging spiritual growth. A must read for all new, sort of new, and seasoned moms!" --Grace Patton, Catholic blogger
"In Getting Past Perfect, author Kate Wicker brings candid vulnerability, humor, and wisdom to her observations about the vocation that simultaneously wrecks and builds, breaks and heals, flattens and sanctifies. Feeling discouraged? Read this book. Funny, insightful, and genuinely honest, Kate Wicker gives moms permission to face the negative messages that threaten our sanity while encouraging us to become the best version of ourselves. I am so grateful for this book and know it will be a blessing for many other moms in the trenches." --Heather Renshaw, Catholic author, radio host, and founder of Catholic Women Rejoice
"This book is a friendly antidote for mothers and their sympathizers struggling with delusions of inadequacy. With edgy wit and frank, personal testimony, Kate Wicker makes a convincing case for motherhood as an imperfect science--which, she persuades her readers, is exactly as God intended it. " --Peggy Normandin, Host of EWTN's Call Me Catholic
About the Author
Kate Wicker is an author, speaker, health columnist for Catholic Digest, and regular contributor to Relevant Radio's Morning Air program. Her work also has appeared in Woman's Day, Pregnancy, Family Fun, WhatToExpect.com, Atlanta Parent, Faith & Family LIVE!, Crisis, FathersforGood.org, Catholic News Agency, Catholic Exchange, and CatholicMom.com.
Wicker earned a bachelor's degree in journalism from the University of Georgia (summa cum laude) in 2000. She is the author of Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body and contributed to The Handbook for Catholic Moms and Word by Word. Wicker also was featured on the Momnipotent DVD. She and her husband, Dave, have five children. They live in Athens, Georgia.
Rachel Balducci is a Catholic writer, author, newspaper columnist, and the cohost of CatholicTV's The Gist.
Lisa M. Hendey is Catholic blogger, speaker, creator of CatholicMom.com, editor of The Catholic Mom's Prayer Companion, and author of The Grace of Yes, The Handbook for Catholic Moms, A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms, and The Chime Travelers children's fiction series.
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Kate, you've given a great gift to young women out there. My own Mom was so wise- I never TRULY appreciated her wisdom until she was long gone. My prayer is that all who read this book will take it to heart.
One pearl my Mom gave me on many a particularly challenging day with my tightly spaced two girls wasthis:
"Don't wish these days away, they are the best times of your life!"
Year's later, on a day filled with teen angst, she repeated the oft-used phrase, to which I said, "Mom, you've said this so many times, when exactly ARE the best times?"
"Thel ALL are, honey, they ALL are!"
Great theology, great advice- a pearl of maternal wisdom.
Buy this book- for you, for your daughters!
Not only does she reveal her hard-won insider info that all moms experience and are embarrassed to admit (“there are lots of other days and even weeks when I feel like a total failure when I’m pretty sure I’ve royally screwed up my kids, and they’ll all end up in therapy. Those are the days when I’m in awe of my children’s deep pools of mercy and how eager they are to love imperfect me”), but she frames it all within an understanding of the crosses God asks us to bear, and the assurance that He is right there with us at every step. I loved when she noted that, “God is the only perfect parent there is, and let’s take a look at his children—you and imperfect me, all his offspring who have questioned him, those who crucified his only Son, and then all those who have committed abhorrent acts of genocide, bride burning, and other horrifying crimes of hate. One look at this Father’s broken people, and you’d think he has failed miserably as a parent. So why, then, do we take our own children’s behavior and choices and imperfections as an indictment of our own parenting?”
The ideas of “perfect” and “imperfect” moms and children (but especially moms) are addressed and moved past throughout her whole book—hence the title Getting Past Perfect. Kate says over and over again: you are not everything, and you *are* good enough. You aren’t perfect and you don’t need to be.
I loved how each chapter begins with an “evil earworm” (those nagging, untruthful or half-truthful refrains that get stuck in our heads) and a responding “untarnished truth” based on faith and reality. I loved the “Mom’s Time Out”—a prayer/reflection—at the end of each chapter. I loved that Kate included lots of personal anecdotes and bible quotes throughout, and the reading group guide and additional resources in the back make it a perfect book for individuals or groups. And I really loved this line, which I think sums up Kate’s whole goal: “Dear mamas, imperfect love is still love.” Sometimes—a lot of times—we all need to hear just that.