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Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Paperback – May 5, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
An estimated 43 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in separation or divorce, a grim reminder that most all of us experiences at least one painful breakup in our lifetimes; speaker and certified grief therapist Elliot has come to understand that many aren't successful in overcoming that pain, which can stall anyone's personal and professional life indefinitely. Using her personal experience and stories from her practice, Elliott provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame. She advises a cold-turkey, "No Contact" blanket rule, but doesn't ignore the reality of situations involving mutual friends or a shared workplace, and provides seven rules for making things easier on the kids. As the end of a relationship can be much like the death of a loved one, Elliott also reviews the grief process and its importance in processing loss. While working through grief and putting time into serious self-examination won't necessarily "transform your life into everything you've always wanted it to be," the payoff should be steady progress toward a mended heart, a clear conscience and a stronger sense of self.
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ForeWord This Week, 4/22/09
Each of the book's steps has been thoughtfully developed from the author's personal experience and her training and experience as a grief counselor.”
This book identifies the frequent mistakes people make during the early days of a breakup and explains how to avoid them. [Elliott] shows how to use the pain to grow, reassess your goals, and create a healthier life.”
Publisher's Weekly, 6/8/09
Provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame.”
Tell[s] people who have suffered relationship devastation how to get through the stages of grief associated with romantic implosion-and how to pick themselves up afterwards and come out of their distress better than they ever were before Elliott's comments on the stages of grief, although scarcely new, can be helpful to just about anyone who feels devastated by the end of an intimate relationship.”
Midwest Book Review, June 2009
An effective book any general lending library will find popular.”
Midwest Book Review, June 2009
A recommended read for those looking for more reasons to embrace better health.”
About.com, Top Breakup Books,” 1/1/10
An excellent breakup book that assists not only in dealing with the shock of a relationship ending, but also how to move past the breakup to become a stronger, better person in spite/because of it. Topics such as dealing with breakup myths (I need closure!”) and boundaries (how do I not get into this situation ever again) are refreshing and well-suited to the tone and style. Highly recommended.”
A well thought out and surprisingly thorough book about dealing with a breakup With chapters on learning new boundaries and how to tell the kids, Elliot has covered topics that most books of this genre ignore outright. Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement, are a must-read for anyone who has ever suffered a bad breakup, particularly the list of items that keep folks stuck in their griefmost notably the concept of needing closure after a failed relationship Well written and thorough. Practical how-to's in every chapter. Warm and friendly tone that never comes across as condescending or judgmental.”
YourTango.com, Top 5 Breakup Books of 2009,” 1/1/10
This practical book offers useful tips about how to get through the depressing post-breakup stages of loneliness and desolation. If you can't afford a therapist, this useful tome will help you take charge of your life instead of giving way to grief.”
From the devastation that comes at the end of a relationship, through the reeling, dealing and healing, Elliott worms her way around all aspects of a broken heart Getting Past Your Breakup will help you see a crystal-bright future.”
Elliott delivers the goods with a book that can help anyone get past a broken heart, and be stronger for it The book provides solid, usable information told with compassionate understanding that really jumpstarts a heart that is on standby The tools are priceless, and the inspiration to come out on top is what really makes this book stand out in the ocean of other self-help titles out there.”
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I stumbled across Susan Elliot's blog on January 27 2010 when I googled "how do i move on after a break up?" after realising I just didn't want to feel the way I felt since my fiance walked out on me and then became extremely nasty and hurtful to further punish me - the blog article "Moving On" was one of the resultant pages....I felt as though Susan was speaking directly to me like the best friend or big sister who comforts you after a devastating breakup....after reading a few more articles on her blog ... I immediately ordered her book off Amazon...I live in Trinidad and had to wait for 2 weeks for it to be shipped - I have read and re-read that book from cover to cover and I am so grateful to have found her...I am sorry I took so long to write a review on this WONDERFUL book -- It has become one of my top 5 books - through her experience she has been able to help me get over a breakup with that bananahead and helped me deal with the "after" and how to move on...It's been over a year and I can say that I've come a long way since the breakup...Life does go on...Time does help heal wounds...but as Susan says you have to do the work...it's not going to happen overnight...there are still nights when i feel as though my heart's breaking but I can handle it now...I sit with it and it passes and I know that I can and will get over it....SUSAN ELLIOT ROCKS!!! ....She is a God send and I am and will always be grateful to her.
I very much enjoy the author's style, as it feels like a wise older sister, older brother, older cousin, or older friend is speaking directly to you, recognizing that you are going through hell, and are hurting terribly, but also gently giving you advice about how to move beyond your present state of misery, and start taking steps towards healing and re-entering the world of the living - stronger, and healthier. A significant topic in the book is why it is essential to go "no contact" with your ex - no exceptions - and how to effectively go no contact if you happen to be in a circumstance where there is no way to completely avoid your ex, like if you have children together, or work together.
I didn't make my life changing breakup "the best thing that ever happened to me," through reading this book, but this book was great in helping me get over it and move on to better things.
I highly recommend this one.