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Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You Paperback – May 5, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
An estimated 43 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in separation or divorce, a grim reminder that most all of us experiences at least one painful breakup in our lifetimes; speaker and certified grief therapist Elliot has come to understand that many aren't successful in overcoming that pain, which can stall anyone's personal and professional life indefinitely. Using her personal experience and stories from her practice, Elliott provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame. She advises a cold-turkey, "No Contact" blanket rule, but doesn't ignore the reality of situations involving mutual friends or a shared workplace, and provides seven rules for making things easier on the kids. As the end of a relationship can be much like the death of a loved one, Elliott also reviews the grief process and its importance in processing loss. While working through grief and putting time into serious self-examination won't necessarily "transform your life into everything you've always wanted it to be," the payoff should be steady progress toward a mended heart, a clear conscience and a stronger sense of self.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
ForeWord This Week, 4/22/09
Each of the book's steps has been thoughtfully developed from the author's personal experience and her training and experience as a grief counselor.”
This book identifies the frequent mistakes people make during the early days of a breakup and explains how to avoid them. [Elliott] shows how to use the pain to grow, reassess your goals, and create a healthier life.”
Publisher's Weekly, 6/8/09
Provides sound advice for those still driving by the ex's house or obsessed with self-blame.”
Tell[s] people who have suffered relationship devastation how to get through the stages of grief associated with romantic implosion-and how to pick themselves up afterwards and come out of their distress better than they ever were before Elliott's comments on the stages of grief, although scarcely new, can be helpful to just about anyone who feels devastated by the end of an intimate relationship.”
Midwest Book Review, June 2009
An effective book any general lending library will find popular.”
Midwest Book Review, June 2009
A recommended read for those looking for more reasons to embrace better health.”
About.com, Top Breakup Books,” 1/1/10
An excellent breakup book that assists not only in dealing with the shock of a relationship ending, but also how to move past the breakup to become a stronger, better person in spite/because of it. Topics such as dealing with breakup myths (I need closure!”) and boundaries (how do I not get into this situation ever again) are refreshing and well-suited to the tone and style. Highly recommended.”
A well thought out and surprisingly thorough book about dealing with a breakup With chapters on learning new boundaries and how to tell the kids, Elliot has covered topics that most books of this genre ignore outright. Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement, are a must-read for anyone who has ever suffered a bad breakup, particularly the list of items that keep folks stuck in their griefmost notably the concept of needing closure after a failed relationship Well written and thorough. Practical how-to's in every chapter. Warm and friendly tone that never comes across as condescending or judgmental.”
YourTango.com, Top 5 Breakup Books of 2009,” 1/1/10
This practical book offers useful tips about how to get through the depressing post-breakup stages of loneliness and desolation. If you can't afford a therapist, this useful tome will help you take charge of your life instead of giving way to grief.”
From the devastation that comes at the end of a relationship, through the reeling, dealing and healing, Elliott worms her way around all aspects of a broken heart Getting Past Your Breakup will help you see a crystal-bright future.”
Elliott delivers the goods with a book that can help anyone get past a broken heart, and be stronger for it The book provides solid, usable information told with compassionate understanding that really jumpstarts a heart that is on standby The tools are priceless, and the inspiration to come out on top is what really makes this book stand out in the ocean of other self-help titles out there.”
Top customer reviews
The book provides sound advice with plenty of anecdotes and war-stories to back it up.
The tone of the book is also very well pitched for those struggling with post-breakup issues. It is very glass half full. While recognising that the reader is likely doing it tough - it points a way to happier and more fulfilling times ahead. It does this not just through empty platitudes but offers a step-by-step process to move on.
Even if you choose not to follow the path set out, the fact that there is a clear path shown will help readers recognise that the pain they are feeling need only be temporary if they are prepared to work to move on with their lives.
While there is no magic bullets provided the book shows how you can work through your post-breakup pain towards a better future.
Here's the catch. All of this does not come easy, but then again, anything worth having (like your self-esteem and self-worth firmly in place) is worth working for. This book guides you step-by-step on the work you need to do to truly deal with your past (Life Inventory), identify what's been going on in your relationships (Relationship Inventory), and what love really looks like (Love is an action).
This book along with her blog of the same name has given me hope when I really felt hopeless and for that I am grateful. Thank you, Susan, for being an inspiration, a teacher, and a guide through such a difficult time.