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The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing [Paperback]

Mary O'Malley
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 28, 2004
Everyone is compulsive to some degree. People may worry too much, work too hard, or overindulge in food or alcohol or drug use. Once a compulsion is admitted, the usual option is to try to control the behavior. But this effort typically ends with the problem compulsion returning, or a new one taking its place.

In this book based on three decades of research, Mary O’Malley has crafted a new approach to healing compulsion, with simple exercises and techniques and an inspiring tone. People are compulsive for a reason, she says, and by observing the things they are compulsive about, engaging those compulsions, readers can begin to understand them and change their actions around them. The book’s exercises help readers in the engagement process by teaching them to ask the right questions. The book shows readers why lasting healing comes from being curious rather than controlling, and self-acceptance comes through forgiveness, not shame.

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Product details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: New World Library (September 28, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1577314700
  • ISBN-13: 978-1577314707
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #39,437 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
(51)
4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Absolutely amazing read. Stumbling upon it and discovering all of the wisdom and gems has already changed my life and I'm not done reading it yet. Would buy for loved ones who struggle with self-blame/shame/criticism. Would buy again. Very grateful.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Recommended by a psychologist, good read. December 2, 2016
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Into chapter 3, and so far the book touches on the surface of psychological roots of compulsions. I'm reading it for a history of emotional eating and it makes sense- make friends with the compulsions. Don't deny or be scared of them. Figure out where they are coming from. Good read.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Not So Revolutionary June 5, 2017
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I am not a paid reviewer. I waded through this book and did some of the exercises to help me really focus on some of the root causes of my belief around food and my eating habits. There are some good ideas that Mary O'Malley offers to help her reader get to a specific self-awareness about their struggle with dieting and other compulsion. However, this book is not a straight-forward self-help type of read. With that said, anyone who approaches this book can find something that may help them with better understanding and managing their compulsions. Unfortunately, I was not that person.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Excellent book. Very helpful in looking at compulsions and addictions. This book allowed me to see my behavior in a different light and it taught me the value and importance of being with my experience in the moment. I read this several years ago, yet I can recall much from this book. It is actually worth reading multiple times.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read about compulsions August 6, 2016
By Heather
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book brings a lot of clarity to reconnect with ourself to better understand our compulsions. If you're struggling with any sort of addiction, this book can open your eyes to be curious about what you really need in the moment you turn to your vice. I've been putting some of the practices into place. It's a process that takes time but I'm seeing myself clearly when I'm about to turn to my vice.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Truly a Gift April 4, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I chose to purchase this book for my tablet which has made it an incredibly handy resource. I highlight statements and bookmark places and return to the author's thoughts almost daily. O'Malley's words are wise and nurturing and I'm finding this book a just right fit for my needs. I experience a sense of peace and spaciousness with her focus on building a relationship with the compulsion and her emphasis that the compulsive behavior is the link towards opening to self-acceptance and self-love. While she gives practical tools to develop awareness and resources, she offers a perspective that keeps me returning to her writing to help open my heart. I'm so glad I found this book!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant Insights! November 7, 2015
By Judy G
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There is so much wisdom in this book; took me awhile to read it because I really needed to ponder the concepts presented by Mary O'Malley. Our compulsions will go away when we no longer need them to call for our attention...questions we can ask ourselves to find the answers in our heart...this book is a great resource!
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31 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lost 40 pounds because of this book! February 5, 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Mary O'Malley shares her transformation with us and the structures she created to be present in her life. The presence to her feelings about herself, her choices and her needs made a difference for her and it made a difference for me too. Mary is dedicated to people's transformation, is a generous and loving person and I'm grateful for her commitment. This book, when empowered, is fantastic. Do the practices, experiment and discover.

I weighed 189 pounds when I read the book. From reading the book, I was able to generate awareness around my choices, my needs and most importantly the space to create an ideal relationship to food and to my body.

The weight just fell off. My relationship to my body was that it was an extraordinary gift and food was the fuel and the way to honor this machine.

Changing how I fed myself or kept myself fit never felt like work or willpower, thanks to Mary. Granting myself and others forgiveness was a product of this work that went well beyond losing weight. It affects every part of my life.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing book on emotional understanding and self-awareness.
A phenomenal book on emotional understanding and self awareness. This was recommended to be my a good friend and it was a a joy to read and a very enlightening book. Read more
Published 24 days ago by Lee Essig
5.0 out of 5 stars What a GEM
This book has been such a gift!
What a powerful, amazing, thought provoking book on life, coping and to work through the challenges that life presents. Read more
Published 1 month ago by FierceRach
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Life altering for me, truly. Revolutionary...
Published 3 months ago by CW
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Mary
This book has been a gift. It is full of compassion and wisdom.
Published 4 months ago by Sys
1.0 out of 5 stars Not for me.....
The author starts out with some great insights and then spends the next 40 pages dragging the reader around through her analogies which are even more confusing..... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Blue Ocean 2000
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy read.
New approach to self analysis. Easy read.
Published 6 months ago by Sandra
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read if you are Struggling
Mary O'Malley really makes you think! Wonderful book!! She can help you end your struggle!!
Published 7 months ago by S. Sloane
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Excellent product and service Thanks!
Published 9 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
This book is tremendous. Thank you for the fast delivery.
Published 14 months ago by P Rose
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome!
For the first time in my life I feel truly loved and realize I am not alone!
Thank Mary for writing this truly inspiring book, it has shown me who I really am and how I can be... Read more
Published 15 months ago by M. Mckenzie
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