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The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade Paperback – June 26, 2007

by Ann Fessler (Author)

4.6 1,414 ratings

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The astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.

“It would take a heart of stone not to be moved by the oral histories of these women and by the courage and candor with which they express themselves.” —The Washington Post

“A remarkably well-researched and accomplished book.” —The New York Times Book Review

“A wrenching, riveting book.” —Chicago Tribune

In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the hidden social history of adoption before Roe v. Wade - and its lasting legacy. An adoptee who was herself surrendered during those years and recently made contact with her mother, Ann Fessler brilliantly brings to life the voices of more than a hundred women, as well as the spirit of those times, allowing the women to tell their stories in gripping and intimate detail.

Print length

362 pages
Language

English
Publication date

June 26, 2007
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.75 x 8.48 inches
ISBN-10

0143038974
ISBN-13

978-0143038979
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From the Publisher

We were not criminals. We [were] mothers. I was an illegal mother. — From THE GIRLS WHO WENT AWAY

An emotionally gripping and politically important book... — Karenna Gore Schiff

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Journalism of the first order, moving and informative in equal measure.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“A remarkably well-researched and accomplished book.” —The New York Times Book Review

“A wrenching, riveting book.” —Chicago Tribune

“Haunting.” —People

“It would take a heart of stone not to be moved by the oral histories of these women and by the courage and candor with which they express themselves.” —The Washington Post

“Compelling, heartrending reading.” —Portland Tribune

“An astonishing oral history.” —Salon.com

About the Author

Ann Fessler is a Professor Emerita at Rhode Island School of Design, where she taught from 1993 to 2018. She has spent nearly four decades creating work that deals with the stories of women and the impact that myths, stereotypes, and mass media images have on their lives and intimate relationships.She has spent the last twenty-five years bringing the first-person narratives and hidden history of adoption into the public sphere through her writing and visual works. She turned to the subject after being approached by a woman who thought Fessler might be the daughter she had surrendered forty years earlier. Though the woman was not her mother, Fessler, an adoptee, was profoundly moved by the experience. The conversation that ensued shifted the focus of her work to adoption and she has since produced three films, several audio and video installations, and written The Girls Who Went Away.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books; Reprint edition (June 26, 2007)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 362 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0143038974
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0143038979
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.48 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #63,612 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #24 in Adoption (Books)
- #145 in Women in History
- #770 in Women's Biographies

Customer Reviews:
4.6 1,414 ratings

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Frederick S. Goethel

A Heart Wrenching History Of Adoption In The Post War Years

Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2015

Verified Purchase

This is the story of adoption that occurred in the United States in the years between the end of World War II and the legalization of abortion due to the Roe v. Wade decision of the Supreme Court. The author interviewed numerous women who had given their children up for adoption and paints a lees than flattering picture of the adoption industry during those years. Written primarily through the words of the women who were interviewed, it offers a very unique look at adoption.

In the post war years, there were not a lot of options for either young men or young women when it came to birth control. In many states, birth control was illegal unless you were married, and in many others it was only available to those over the age of 21. In addition, it was kept behind counters, forcing the subjects to ask a pharmacist for the product, which was an extremely embarrassing proposition. If you decide to have sex, your options were limited. In addition, information about sex was very limited. In the case of one woman in the book, she didn't even know where the baby came out of the human body. She believed in came out of the rectum.

Many young women were forced to give their children up for adoption for any number of reasons. The parents felt shame that their daughters had gotten pregnant and wanted them out of sight when they began to show, some families could not afford another child or the cost of the delivery of a baby. The reason are numerous, but the results were the same. The women were sent to homes for unwed mothers, where they would live until it was time to deliver. Then they would remain there until they were well enough to leave or until they were thrown out.

In some cases the new mothers were allowed to see and touch their babies, but for the most part this was the exception. Most were never allowed to see or touch their children and were sent home wondering about the life it would have. In addition, any of these young were lied to. Most were told that once the papers were signed it was final without being told that there was a waiting period. Still others were told that the family that was receiving the child was wonderful, when in fact that wasn't the case.

All of this lead to the mothers having difficulties throughout their lives. Many had psychological problems that were elated to the adoptions, but the women never understood this. Many spent years wondering about the child and looking at children in the streets, hoping to find their child.

Overall, the system was broken and I am not sure it is much better today. The pro life groups would have everyone believe that adoption is the answer to abortions, but at least one woman in the book had been through both and found the adoption to be much more traumatic.

The book is very well written, and should be required reading for anyone who advocates for adoption, as well as women who are contemplating adoption. It is a traumatic experience and that has not changed since the era covered in this book.

20 people found this helpful

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RKF

"I didn't give him up, he was taken from me."

Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2023

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In 1964, when I was 12, my 17-year-old cousin Beverly got pregnant by her boyfriend . The two got married, but her new husband left her when she was just two months from delivering. I remember being told, "she never saw the baby" and it was fairly evident that her mother had forced her into adoption.

The whole story was shocking to a 12-year-old and it stuck with me my whole life. Now, I'm a playwright, and in brainstorming new ideas for my next play, I thought about my cousin's story. Unfortunately, she won't talk about it, so I decided to start researching girls in the 1960s, forced to surrender their children against their will. I came across this book, which is extraordinary because of all the first-hand accounts from Fessler's interviews with over a hundred women. The stories were unique, but shared many common traits, for example, the shame, the mind-control, and how they were bullied into signing adoption papers. If you were Catholic, and taken to a maternity home run by the Church, you were told, "If you have a baby from pre-marital sin, you must give it to a couple that can't have children of their own. It's God's plan, and if you don't concur, you'll burn in hell."

What is really shocking is how these girls were actually tied down to the delivery table, knocked out, and forced to go through labor alone. When they woke up, they got very little information (in some cases they weren't even told their child's gender) and were often told, "If you don't sign the adoption papers you'll be responsible for thousands of dollars in fees to cover all your expenses while you were here." The horror my cousin went through had its impact, and she was never the same. And today, she won't talk about it, and neither will her siblings. After all these years (she's now 75) the family won't relieve her of the shame. It's incredible.

These stories are heart-wrenching, especially Ruth, who's mother-in-law made a false statement on her adoption records that Ruth had no interest in her baby when in fact, the opposite was true.

It's an incredibly well-researched book and I could barely put it down. I highly recommend it.

13 people found this helpful

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R Drinnen

A Must Read for all touched by adoption in the Baby Scoop Era

Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2013

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As the unacknowledged daughter of "A Girl Who Went Away", Ann Fessler's book was a tough read for me. So it's not accurate for me to say that I "enjoyed" the book. However, I found it to be a well-written, well researched and riveting.

This book is the product of many interviews that the author (an adoptee) conducted with birth mothers from the "Baby Scoop Era" -- Post WWII to 1973 and the passage of Roe v. Wade. The stories of other women who found themselves single and pregnant in an era where single motherhood wasn't accepted gave me insight into what my birth mother experienced when she became pregnant at 19.

The birth mother's stories told in this book speak honestly and openly to the secrecy and the shame that they experienced when they became pregnant. It delves into what they experienced as they were sent away to live in maternity homes, left to give birth to their first child scared and alone. The women interviewed also make it clear that they never forgot the experience. Each had their own way of moving forward with their lives, but none of them forgot the experience and none of them were the same after their experience.

The experiences of those who chose to search or were found by their surrendered child are also included the book.

This book is well researched. The stories of the women interviewed are supplemented with Fessler's extensive research into social norms and adoption practices from the late 1940's to 1973. I believe it is a must read for any adoptee born in this era and for the women who became "A Girl Who Went Away".

(I have also seen Ann Fessler's documentary, "A Girl Like Her", also based on interviews with birth mothers. It is well worth searching out a screening.)

18 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Images by Ceci

Touched my soul

Reviewed in Canada on April 17, 2022

Verified Purchase

As an adoptee I found it fascinating to hear another point of view. I met my birth mother and she said very little about giving me up. Her mother made her do it through a “home”.

J. W.

Everyone should read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 21, 2022

Verified Purchase

This book was SUPER depressing. But, it just goes to show what a world without choice creates and the enduring pain women go through — how we are told time and again to get over it, forget it, or move on. And how some of us just can’t.

This book also illustrates and debunks a common myth that women who give up their children for adoption “don’t want their kid”. Many of them do, they just felt they had to — in order to meet societies standards. It’s heartbreaking.

I’d recommend you read in small doses and have tissues handy. I rarely cry and this book was very emotional!! It brought up a lot of feelings. ❤️

joanie1822

Great book

Reviewed in Australia on May 7, 2024

Verified Purchase

A must read for adoptees

David J. Connor

I Couldn't Put It Down

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 18, 2022

Verified Purchase

This is such a well written book. The structure, the content, the voice of the author, and most of all--the stories of women who were forced to give up their children, and the emotional toll that took on their entire lives.

Kelsi

Incredible

Reviewed in Canada on February 19, 2014

Verified Purchase

This book will make you think about adoption in a completely different way. I had no idea that women were given no choice or say in their pregnancy, they were actually forced to go through with adoption. I thought it was very interesting that one woman who was forced into adoption, and then later had an abortion with another pregnancy, found the adoption much, much more emotionally painful. I think that stood out the most for me, but all of the narratives and quotes are extremely powerful.

It is both heartbreaking and enlightening.

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