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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked Hardcover – November 8, 2011

4.3 out of 5 stars 184 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


“Hammond’s moving memoir contains surprising detours. . . . [His] breezy style and facile storytelling will keep readers entertained even while reading about his struggle with alcoholism. . . . This funny man’s serious life can be an inspiration to all.” (Publishers Weekly (Starred Review))

From the Back Cover

A raw, poignant, and often hilarious look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic icon

From his harrowing childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents, to a lifetime of alcoholism and self-mutilation, psychiatric hospitalizations, and misdiagnoses, to the peak of fame and success as the longest-tenured cast member of Saturday Night Live, Darrell Hammond delves into the darkest corners of his life, both in front of and behind the camera, with brutal honesty and fierce comic wit. On the back of his hilarious dead-on impressions of Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney, Chris Matthews, and a hundred other prominent figures, Hammond was invited into the inner sanctums of the country's political leaders, including three presidents, all the while suffering debilitating and largely undiagnosed mental anguish that resulted in horrifying flashbacks, shocking benders, a hair-raising stint in a Bahamian jail, and ultimately a dark night in a Harlem crack house. His long fight for sobriety, filled with heartbreaking relapses, was propelled by a desire to do right by his young daughter and to set the record straight about how he fell so low while achieving such heights. Throughout, Hammond lays bare the real inner workings of an iconic television show.


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 273 pages
  • Publisher: Harper; First Edition edition (November 8, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 006206455X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062064554
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (184 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #349,334 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This was one of the best memoirs I have ever read. Darrell allows us into his brilliant and troubled mind, showing us the painful results of serious child abuse. The writing, itself, is spellbinding and funny. I loved reading about the insides of SNL and how difficult it is to actually put on a show. Never have I sensed the chaos and last minute changes that Darrell allows us to see. I have even more respect for all the SNL cast and employees as a result.

As a recovering person, I appreciate Darrell's integrity and honesty about his struggles. As a therapist, I appreciate his willingness to delve into his past and expose himself as well as the mental health community. I do disagree with the psychiatrist's recommendation to confront his parents because of exactly what happened. If the people being "confronted" are in therapy themselves and have the support to deal with the confrontation, it can work but in almost all cases I have seen it done, it is more harmful than helpful.

With all he has been through, Darrell could be bitter and angry but not one time does he bash anyone from his past or present. He seems to have an extraordinary ability to know people on a deep level and allows us to know them through his genuine eyes and heart. Darrell, there are millions of us out here who love and admire you and are cheering on your recovery and joy-filled life. You have earned it and deserve it!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is the best book I have read in the last ten years.

I listened to Darrell Hammond being interview by Howard Stern. I was shocked at what I heard. Just shocked. I ordered the book right away and read it in one day.

It is amazing that Darrell is still alive considering all the shear torture at this Mothers hands that he went through.

The wicked mother never admitted her behaviour. His father did right before he died.

At times I cried and at times I laughed.

Darrell - if you happen to read this review please know that we love you, that you belong on this earth, are valued and, with the publication of this book want you to make the second half of your life fulfilling and happy. You deserve it.

I highly recommed that you purchase and read "God, If You're Not Up There, I'm _______ (Amazon won't let me put the word even with an asteric): Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem" by Mr. Darrell Hammond; Hardcover

Erica Phillips
(It is rainy in Hawaii right now but I still surf daily anyway)
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Format: Hardcover
I don't write book reviews. I don't pre-order books. I rarely even buy a hard-back. I do read A LOT of memoirs, and even more books on mental illness and/or addiction. I have suffered from both for over half of my life and feel as though I have been searching for that one book that would actually get it right. Darrell Hammond did that for me.
Only a few months out of rehab myself, the press for this book caught my eye while I was waiting to get my oil changed. Mr. Hammond was doing an interview on one of the news channels and I was enthralled. I immediately came home and ordered the book. According to his interview, we had almost identical experiences in rehabs (and psych-wards). I think I just needed to know that I wasn't the only one with my experience. I spent the past two days with my head in his pages.
I am so thankful for how raw he is when describing his trials. I am even more thankful for the lessons I took away from the last few chapters. He describes perfectly the mentality of an addict, and also that of a survivor.
I will warn you, the writing style is one that may take a few chapters to get used to. It would normally bother me that jumps around so much. Yet somehow, it is appropriate in this context. I think if it flowed perfectly, or was seamless it would take away from the experience of reliving this lifestyle. I really felt like someone went in my brain and put it on paper.
Thank you so much!!!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book swept me away. I finished it over a week ago and am still thinking about it, thinking about him. The story is about so much more than abuse, addiction, recovery and SNL. It's about Darrell Hammond the individual and the artist. It reads much like how I imagine Darrell to be in person - he delivers the story in a measured, gracious and authentic voice, but withholds just enough to leave you wanting more.

His descriptions of abuse were delicate and precise ~ not sensationalizing or shocking, which is refreshing in this tell-all culture. Similarly, his celebrity and partying were relayed with no ego or glamour. At the same time he quietly weaves humanity through his journey from the gut wrenching joy/sorrow of boyhood baseball dreams to sitting in a steam room these days with Guys Who Used to Have It Going On. The emotion sneaks up on you. He's hilarious and smart and sad and joyful and hysterically funny and all the things that have always made him great.

He tells dozens of stories about comedy sketches that document an astonishing political history through the lens of SNL, while demonstrating that he has always been the consummate professional regardless of circumstance. Then there's his genius ability to study others and find their humanity, all the while revealing his own (i.e. a sociopath woman in rehab who will steal your heart). Even the way he describes a tiny interaction on stage at SNL left me pondering for days about his observations and sensitivity.

There's a transition from the last line of "The Last Chapter" and the first line of "The Real Last Chapter" that struck me as particularly brilliant, brave and exact in its honesty regarding the cliché that there is a permanent solution to life. For personal reasons I loved this.
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