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Darrell Hammond

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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem Hardcover – Bargain Price, November 8, 2011

by Darrell Hammond (Author)

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Tina Fey’s Bossypantsmeets David Carr’s The Night of the Gun in Darrell Hammond’sgroundbreaking memoir, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked—a raw look inside the troubled life and mind of anAmerican comic genius. By turns poignant and hilarious, Hammond takes readersfrom the set of Saturday Night Live, where he was the show’slongest-tenured cast member, to the drug-ridden streets of Harlem and into thetwisting corridors of his own unflaggingly humorous consciousness. Minglingbehind-the-scenes stories from television’s best-loved comedy series with adark look inside a world-class funnyman, God If You’re Not Up There,I’m F*cked is a book sure to resonate with anyonewho shares a talent for performance, a love of comedy, or a desire to know howan artist can climb from the deepest despair to the very top of his profession.

Print length

288 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Harper
Publication date

November 8, 2011
Dimensions

6 x 1 x 9 inches
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Hammond’s moving memoir contains surprising detours. . . . [His] breezy style and facile storytelling will keep readers entertained even while reading about his struggle with alcoholism. . . . This funny man’s serious life can be an inspiration to all.” (Publishers Weekly (Starred Review))

From the Back Cover

A raw, poignant, and often hilarious look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic icon

From his harrowing childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents, to a lifetime of alcoholism and self-mutilation, psychiatric hospitalizations, and misdiagnoses, to the peak of fame and success as the longest-tenured cast member of Saturday Night Live, Darrell Hammond delves into the darkest corners of his life, both in front of and behind the camera, with brutal honesty and fierce comic wit. On the back of his hilarious dead-on impressions of Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney, Chris Matthews, and a hundred other prominent figures, Hammond was invited into the inner sanctums of the country's political leaders, including three presidents, all the while suffering debilitating and largely undiagnosed mental anguish that resulted in horrifying flashbacks, shocking benders, a hair-raising stint in a Bahamian jail, and ultimately a dark night in a Harlem crack house. His long fight for sobriety, filled with heartbreaking relapses, was propelled by a desire to do right by his young daughter and to set the record straight about how he fell so low while achieving such heights. Throughout, Hammond lays bare the real inner workings of an iconic television show.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00F6KALBM
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harper; First Edition (November 8, 2011)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.1 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1 x 9 inches

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ali

Remarkable. This book moved me.

Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2011

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This book swept me away. I finished it over a week ago and am still thinking about it, thinking about him. The story is about so much more than abuse, addiction, recovery and SNL. It's about Darrell Hammond the individual and the artist. It reads much like how I imagine Darrell to be in person - he delivers the story in a measured, gracious and authentic voice, but withholds just enough to leave you wanting more.

His descriptions of abuse were delicate and precise ~ not sensationalizing or shocking, which is refreshing in this tell-all culture. Similarly, his celebrity and partying were relayed with no ego or glamour. At the same time he quietly weaves humanity through his journey from the gut wrenching joy/sorrow of boyhood baseball dreams to sitting in a steam room these days with Guys Who Used to Have It Going On. The emotion sneaks up on you. He's hilarious and smart and sad and joyful and hysterically funny and all the things that have always made him great.

He tells dozens of stories about comedy sketches that document an astonishing political history through the lens of SNL, while demonstrating that he has always been the consummate professional regardless of circumstance. Then there's his genius ability to study others and find their humanity, all the while revealing his own (i.e. a sociopath woman in rehab who will steal your heart). Even the way he describes a tiny interaction on stage at SNL left me pondering for days about his observations and sensitivity.

There's a transition from the last line of "The Last Chapter" and the first line of "The Real Last Chapter" that struck me as particularly brilliant, brave and exact in its honesty regarding the cliché that there is a permanent solution to life. For personal reasons I loved this.

The book is filled with poignancies and paradoxes that emerge and resonate long after you've read it. It did leave me wanting more of his story and more of him. I hope he writes more, acts more, and does more stand-up... and I hope he is well on his way to receiving all of the joy and compassion he has given.

17 people found this helpful

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Jennifer Bridges

Good read, interesting story

Reviewed in the United States on October 8, 2012

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I purchased this based on other reviews and I am happy to say that I finished it in two days. That being said, it is a short book. I was clueless to the sort of problems that Mr. Hammond faced all through his public career. It's sad to think that there are Mom's out there messing their children up right now just the way his mom messed him up. The book itself is sort of scattered, it didn't really follow a clear timeline and it's more of a SNL behind the scenes view with a few quick peeks into his disturbing childhood. I was honestly hoping for more dirt on his bad family life but being an avid SNL fan I was pleased to here another review of what goes on behind the scenes. Would I recommend this book to someone struggling with addiction? Probably not. I would recommend it to someone who likes comedy, SNL or impersonators in general. It did make me feel like I had a wonderful childhood by comparison and although I am not sober I do not have a drug or drinking problem anywhere near the scale of the one Mr. Hammond has and is struggling with. Glad he wrote the book, it probably hurt quite a bit to drudge up all those old feelings and come clean about how messed up his life really is. Fist pump, woo woo woo woo.

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.oOo.

Incredibly Well Written, From His Heart & Soul...

Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2012

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The best thing about Darryl Hammond's autobiography is that it is *incredibly well-written*. Stephenie Meyer (author of the "Twilight" series) was an English major with a teacher certification - but she could take some serious lessons in grammar & writing mechanics off of this stand up comic. When I read the first few "Twilight" novels, I constantly wanted to correct Meyer's mistakes in the margin with a red pen & send it back to her for correction, but not Hammond's writing. Even if Hammond never made it as a comic, I believe this man may have made it as an author instead, because wow...can this guy write.

This bio is a real page turner. Between the vivid subject matter that brings the reader right into the picture with him, & the simple clarity with which he writes, his words just flow like a river to the sea. Some of the material jumps around back & forth in time so much that I had a little difficulty closely following the exact chronology of his life. However, in its own way, I think this actually reflects Hammond's own tendency to constantly go back to the past in his mind from any given point in his life. Overall, it really all just works.

I won't kid you though, many events in this bio take a certain amount of courage to just read... It must have taken ten times as much courage to write it & actually complete it. He poured out his heart & soul into this, & you will feel it. If you were born to parents only Stephen King could have invented, what Hammond writes will shake you to the core. This guy passed through Hell so many times he bought real estate there for purposes of overnight travel lodging, & he will take you through The Dark. So if you had a difficult youth...brace yourself. But if you stick with it & see it through to the end, like Hammond himself, you too will also break through to the other side & into the light. I've never read any author who writes with a greater degree of brutal self-honesty, candor, humility, & insight. And some of his observations are laugh-out-loud funny, to boot. This is not one of those pretentious autobiographies that makes you grit your teeth & wonder what's on TV...

When I finished the book, I was curious about one thing. Among the various psychiatric diagnoses Hammond received over the years, I am wondering how he missed being diagnosed with "Complex PTSD". Previously, PTSD was long thought to result from only one major traumatic life experience that occurs well outside the normal range of common human experience. Nowadays, however, people who have had not just one major traumatic event but rather a prolonged period of severely stressful & injurious life events, are said to be suffering from "Complex PTSD". Since Hammond felt like he grew up in a war zone from which he could never escape & never felt safe, I wonder if he could relate to the term.

Now that his memoirs are complete, I hope Hammond caught the writing bug & will decide to write more books. This was so well-written, I would definitely buy more of his work. Stephenie Meyer...not so much. :)

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Top reviews from other countries

Helen Ahern

Excellent storyteller

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 27, 2023

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Whether it be the light or dark side or life, Darrell tells every story in the most captivating way. No filler or pointless detail... it's a high quality read. He's a complex but kind soul who shares and bares his most vulnerable and traumatic moments with authenticity and incredible self awareness.

investigator77

What a great story, against the backdrop of horrible torment

Reviewed in Canada on July 24, 2020

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Darrel Hammond has always been a huge favourite of mine from SNL. There was nothing he couldn't do! I loved all of his work, so I was very surprised to see him in the recent Netflix documentary, talking about his struggles with mental health. His abusive background is always sort of hanging over the reader, like a dark cloud, and you never know when it's going to rear it's ugly head, and cause him to self-harm. It is really heartbreaking, that such a wonderful, funny, and talented man, was so tortured for so many years. It wasn't all doom and gloom however. There are a lot of funny stories in the book too. I loved it!

skylark

Riveting and real

Reviewed in Australia on May 18, 2020

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Darrell writes so well, and his life is so interesting, it was hard to take breaks from reading this book. Coming from Australia I had never heard of Darrell Hammond before watching the Netflix documentary but I’m so glad I did. He had an horrific traumatic childhood that caused immense disturbance in later life through PTSD but he still managed to hang on to enough sanity to excel in his profession. Thank you for being you Darrell.