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James Gregor

Going Dutch: A Novel Hardcover – Deckle Edge, August 20, 2019

by James Gregor (Author)

3.5 58 ratings

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ONE OF ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY’S 10 BEST DEBUT NOVELS OF THE YEAR

“In this intelligent, entertaining and elegantly written novel, James Gregor pulls off something many psychological novelists aspire to and few achieve: he convincingly captures the thinking of a character who earnestly sees himself as sympathetic, even as he behaves terribly.” —Adelle Waldman, author of The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.

“A book of deceptive ambitions, a breezy page-turner that, every few pages, slides in an observation that inspires some combination of laughter, mortification, and admiration. A witty and perceptive examination of contemporary social mores, you’ll tear through this tale of a thoroughly modern love triangle.” —Entertainment Weekly

“A charming, well-observed debut. Going Dutch is an incredibly fun read, even in its most tragic moments, when Richard is at his most infuriatingly resistant to change. I can't wait to see what Gregor writes next.” —NPR

Exhausted by dead-end forays in the gay dating scene, surrounded constantly by friends but deeply lonely in New York City, and drifting into academic abyss, twenty-something graduate student Richard has plenty of sources of anxiety. But at the forefront is his crippling writer’s block, which threatens daily to derail his graduate funding and leave Richard poor, directionless, and desperately single.

Enter Anne: his brilliant classmate who offers to “help” Richard write his papers in exchange for his company, despite Richard’s fairly obvious sexual orientation. Still, he needs her help, and it doesn’t hurt that Anne has folded Richard into her abundant lifestyle. What begins as an initially transactional relationship blooms gradually into something more complex.

But then a one-swipe-stand with an attractive, successful lawyer named Blake becomes serious, and Richard suddenly finds himself unable to detach from Anne, entangled in her web of privilege, brilliance, and, oddly, her unabashed acceptance of Richard’s flaws. As the two relationships reach points of serious commitment, Richard soon finds himself on a romantic and existential collision course—one that brings about surprising revelations.

Going Dutch is an incisive portrait of relationships in an age of digital romantic abundance, but it’s also a heartfelt and humorous exploration of love and sexuality, and a poignant meditation on the things emotionally ravenous people seek from and do to each other. James Gregor announces himself with levity, and a fresh, exciting voice in his debut.

Print length

352 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Simon & Schuster
Publication date

August 20, 2019
Dimensions

5.63 x 1.4 x 8.38 inches
ISBN-10

1982103191
ISBN-13

978-1982103194
See all details

Editorial Reviews

Review

PRAISE FOR GOING DUTCH BY JAMES GREGOR

"A book of deceptive ambitions, a breezy page-turner that, every few pages, slides in an observation that inspires some combination of laughter, mortification, and admiration. A witty and perceptive examination of contemporary social mores, you’ll tear through this tale of a thoroughly modern love triangle. A comedy of manners for the (very) modern age."—ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (Most Anticipated for Summer 2019)

"A dizzyingly satirical tapestry of the absurdities of contemporary urban life and love....Going Dutch is also just really, really funny."—ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (Best Debut Novels of 2019)

"A charming, well-observed debut. While the plot and the characters and the relationships in the novel are deeply engaging, what stuck out to me even more was Gregor's writing itself. [Gregor's] mix of old-fashioned style and contemporary setting makes Going Dutch an incredibly fun read, even in its most tragic moments, when Richard is at his most infuriatingly resistant to change. I can't wait to see what Gregor writes next."—NPR

“A sardonic, procrastinating PhD candidate gets close to a classmate and questions his own sexuality in Gregor’s excellent debut. Filled with pithy secondary characters…Gregor’s on-the-nose depiction of New York liberal intelligentsia makes for wonderful satire. This marvelously witty take on dating in New York City and the blurry nature of desire announces Gregor as a fresh, electric new voice.”—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY (STARRED REVIEW)

"Going Dutch is a sharp, endearing update of the love-triangle rom-com, and Gregor's depiction of millennial New York is masterful. It's an exciting debut, and will leave you eager for more."—BUZZFEED (Most Anticipated for Summer 2019)

"When we look back on the canon of modern dating-while-living-in-New-York escapades, Going Dutch will stand out as a vivid portrait of a life and time that — for many — feels almost too familiar. It’s bleak out there. But at least the brunch is good."—BUZZFEED

"If you need your main characters to take the moral high road, this one isn’t for you. But if you’re into existential questions, Seinfeld-level awkward-dating scenarios, and a little dark humor: Start reading."—GOOP

"Going Dutch is a feast for the senses. I found myself totally enthralled by its rich language and whip-smart observations. But the characters sparking off of one another—that is what kept me furiously turning the pages, hungry for more. [A] glorious debut novel...a smart and sometimes sardonic tale of queer couplings in the era of Grindr, obnoxious foodie culture, and millennial boredom."—CHICAGO REVIEW OF BOOKS

"A directionless grad student finds himself at the center of a bisexual love triangle in debut novelist Gregor's charmingly melancholy Brooklyn rom-com. Of course . . . Richard's double life must come crashing down, which it does, spectacularly. A deeply kind novel—all three characters are rich and complicated and human—[brimming with] biting observations of modern urban life."—KIRKUS REVIEWS

"Gregor's debut novel is a carefully observed story about desire, love, and dependence in contemporary New York. Readers will be swept up in Richard’s life and love triangle, even as they wonder if he has any idea what he wants."—BOOKLIST

"Going Dutch is a hilarious and relatable story that shows great promise for Gregor as a novelist. It plays around with the tropes and clichés of love triangle stories and 20-something arrested development stories in a fresh and engaging way. It’s a perfect snapshot of academic and romantic life in the ’10s that will hopefully resonate as time passes. After all, while some of these dating sites and apps will potentially fall into obscurity or be consigned to the digital mausoleum that all defunct sites and programs fall into, there will always remain that anxiety and allure that comes from branching out and trying to develop oneself as an adult, whether it involves writing about centuries-old literature or just figuring out the best place to get dinner on a Friday night in Brooklyn."—LAMBDA LITERARY

"Comedic and captivating...[Gregor] lays bare the protagonist's, and our own, motivations: how we are drawn to another person; how, consciously or not--and often for the wrong reasons--we become bound up with that person; and how we sometimes fail to make honest and authentic choices, due to cultural forces or personal baggage. It also raises the question of whether sexual attraction is destiny, and whether emotional intimacy can sustain a relationship. At the novel's center lies a mystery more complex and elusive than that of desire and identity: what makes two people want to be together?"—THE GAY & LESBIAN REVIEW

“In this intelligent, entertaining and elegantly written novel, James Gregor pulls off something many psychological novelists aspire to and few achieve: he convincingly captures the thinking of a character who earnestly sees himself as sympathetic, even as he behaves terribly. Without being intrusive, Gregor makes the reader see what his protagonist Richard can’t—the way unexamined shame and insecurity drive his actions (and non-actions). Never have I read a book where I so badly wanted the smart, well-meaning but benighted hero to get a good therapist, ideally one as insightful as the author himself.”—ADELLE WALDMAN, national bestselling author of The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P

"Be it the horrors of online dating, the absurdity of academia, or the dicey interplay of gender and class, I'm convinced there's nothing that escapes James Gregor's attention. Going Dutch is more than an assured debut—it's a novel packed with so much sly wisdom and charm that it'll leave you reeling. I devoured this book, and you will too."—GRANT GINDER, author of Honestly, We Meant Well and The People We Hate at the Wedding

“Every once in a while a novel of simply unremitting goodness lands on your front porch and Going Dutch is one of the best of the best. James Gregor is a generous, funny, easy-going natural and this book sheds much light on how we live and love now.”—GARY SHTEYNGART, New York Times bestselling author of Lake Success and Super Sad True Love Story

"Going Dutch is my favorite kind of novel—smart, insightful, and brimming with sly humor. James Gregor explores the complexity of contemporary life with honesty and welcome cynicism, while still allowing for the possibility of love. This novel left me edified, entertained, and eagerly waiting to see what the author comes up with next."—STEPHEN McCAULEY, author ofMy Ex-Life

“In this satisfying, plot-driven, and utterly adult novel about a bisexual love triangle, James Gregor has created a bitter black comedy set in the trenches of dating both on and off-line in 21st century New York City. Going Dutch is trenchant and kind, witty and devastating. As a debut work of fiction it is a knock-out.”—CHARLOTTE SILVER, author of Bennington Girls Are Easy

About the Author

James Gregor holds an MFA in Fiction from Columbia. He has been a writer in residence at the Villa Lena Foundation in Tuscany and a bookseller at Shakespeare and Company bookshop in Paris. James was born and grew up in Canada. Going Dutch is his first novel.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster (August 20, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1982103191
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982103194
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.08 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.63 x 1.4 x 8.38 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #221,443 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #58 in LGBTQ+ Coming of Age Fiction (Books)
- #238 in LGBTQ+ Literary Fiction (Books)
- #2,935 in Coming of Age Fiction (Books)

Customer Reviews:
3.5 58 ratings

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3.5 out of 5

58 global ratings

5 star		31%
4 star		22%
3 star		26%
2 star		8%
1 star		13%

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Jodi Wiggins

An Intriguing Premise and an Annoying Protagonist

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 25, 2019

I often read novels where someone's traveling through space, a vampire, or trying to solve a murder. Going Dutch offers none of these things; however, there is Richard, the protagonist, a spacy bloodsucker who will make some readers wonder why he has not yet been murdered. Going Dutch follows him through 6 eventful months of his life. When we meet Richard, he is a lonely 29-year-old graduate student in New York City who is suffering from writer's block. This is a problem, as he relies on stipends for his studies to finance his existence. He's gay and surrounded by men, but his dates don't quite work out. He's in love with his best friend Patrick. Patrick doesn't return his feelings.

Enter Anne. She is a brilliant fellow student at Richard's college, majoring in medieval Italian literature like him. Thanks to her father's money, she can afford to pursue an impractical major and to be very generous to friends. Richard enjoys that sort of friendship. In addition to lavishing money on him, she stretches the meaning of the word "help" with Richard's academic work. Slowly, the relationship becomes something other than friendship, and Richard wonders if he's something other than gay. Then Blake, a former date, finally texts him back.. Things get complicated after that.

Richard can't cook, manage money, or see past his own nose. Much like Homer Simpson, what he brings to a relationship is the ability to make another person feel really, truly needed. It is a testament to James Gregor's talent and insight that he manages to actually make the reader care about Richard's life and the choices he must make. He illustrates the ways that Richard deludes himself into thinking he's doing the right thing. He even makes the reader hope that Richard might grow up and become a better man. The protagonist isn't lovable or fascinating, but Going Dutch somehow is. It reminded me slightly of Ottessa Moshfegh's "Eileen", another novel I loved that had an almost aggressively unlikable protagonist.

One issue I have with Going Dutch is that despite Anne and Blake's differing genders, the word "bisexual" is used only once, as a sneering insult by one of the characters. If you're looking for a novel with a positive characterization of bisexuality or bisexual people, put this one back. However, this will fascinate readers who love deep psychological insight into characters. It's interesting. It's complicated. Then again, so is trying to find love in 21st-century New York City.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

6 people found this helpful

Helpful

A bit disappointing, just a so so read.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 21, 2019

Going Dutch is James Gregor's first novel; therefore, I am generous with my rating of three stars. I fell in love with the premise of this book from the synopsis, but unfortunately for me, it fell short. Some will say that this book was well written and I will agree to a certain extent. My problem with Mr. Gregor's writing was that at times it seemed forced. I felt that he was trying to use every unusual word he could from his vast vocabulary. However, it became stilted and tedious, and I found myself skimming to get past the third person haranguing.

The story in and of itself is a good one; gay millennials trying to survive the modern online dating scene to find "the one." The problem for me was; there was not one main character I liked. Richard, our protagonist, is a thirty-something gay man pursuing his doctorate in medieval Italian literature, who has a severe case of writer's block. I found him to be shallow, self-centered, whiney, and insipid character with no redeeming qualities.

Anne is a straight, affluent, wickedly astute doctoral student in medieval literature. Anne pursues Richard, knowing that he is gay, and does not return her feelings. Richard is in love with Patrick, a long-time friend, and fellow doctoral student, who does not return his romantic feelings. As readers, we are constantly subjected to Richard's ramblings on how perfect Patrick is and how he is undeserving of Patrick's friendship. Throughout the book, Richard puts up with anything and everything to keep their friendship intact. As Richard becomes more and more lost, he leads Anne on and begins a romantic-like relationship with her. Richard also slyly enlists Anne's "help" with not only his writer's block but also to subsidize his pathetic financial situation. Is Richard genuinely confused about his sexuality, is he using Anne or both? You will have to make that decision. If all of that's not bad enough, he meets Blake, a successful lawyer, and starts a romantic relationship with him too. Richard is continually finding fault with both of his relationships. It seems that nothing can make this man happy. What these two seemingly intelligent people saw in Richard I have no idea.

There were a few parts of the book that I did appreciate. I enjoyed the intellectual, amusing, and suggestive banter between Patrick and Richard's friends. That only happened when I could get past Richard’s whimpering about his life and how he felt they were all judging him. Also, I liked Anne's two roommates; they were perfect and hysterical. My favorite part of the book was when the Blake, Anne, and Richard accidentally ended up going to lunch together, just priceless! In the end, I believe that only one person in this trio found what they desired.

***I kindly received this galley by way of NetGalley/publisher/author. I was not contacted, asked, or required to leave a review. I received no compensation, financial or otherwise. I have voluntarily read this book, and this review is my honest opinion .***

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Wendy Shiraki

Great book jacket!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 2, 2019

Verified Purchase

I don’t usually judge a book by its cover but this one is fantastic!

One person found this helpful

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M. B. Thorne

Deeply disappointing.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 16, 2019

Verified Purchase

I am someone who has bought and read virtually every "serious" novel by/for/about the gay male experience in the past forty years.
I anticipated this novel. And devoured it over a two day period.
The protagonist Richard is a "hot mess" or better, a narcissist and cluelessly self-absorbed lazy flailing grad student.
I waited for something to actually happen in his life for several chapters.
The author has clever descriptive abilities and poetic ambitions in his often successful vignettes of life among the urban upper middle milieu of Columbia students and Brooklyn neighborhoods.
I was reminded of Henry Adams in the icy cool detached manner the plot glacially advances.
I can't recall a more unappealing character than "Richard" who avoids academic disaster by essentially prostituting himself to a brilliant older woman student Ann. Ann does his academic work in Italian Medieval Lit. buys him clothes, pays for restaurant meals manages his academic career.
I think the author's intention was to create a realistic character who existed in an honest no-mans land between attraction to both men and women.
But the character of Richard is so craven, so clueless, so lazy, so helpless, so mendacious towards two rather interesting people one a man one a woman who unknowingly are competing for his attention that by the end of the book I was actually angry that I had spent so much time with such an uninteresting despicable guy.
Poor Ann! -
why would she want this helpless puppy of a man?

10 people found this helpful

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Levi Huxton

Of its time

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on March 6, 2021

Verified Purchase

Richard is lonely and who can blame him. Around him, other gay New Yorkers seem to effortlessly glide through an instagram-ready world of expensive restaurants, Fire Island beaches, gym-toned bodies and orgiastic sex.

He’s stuck in a rut, suffers from academic paralysis, hates his roommate, and app-enabled hook-ups are showing diminishing returns. It’s a brand of millennial angst so common as to render his low-grade depression invisible, even to himself. Richard has a lot going for him, just not self-awareness.

So when our protagonist meets not one but two individuals with the potential to rescue him from himself, we can’t help but root for him, at least at first. Blake is a lawyer who looks like he could be a good match for Richard, not least because he actually likes him. Anne is also a lonely academic, who agrees to write his papers in exchange for a companionship that eventually turns into something more intimate.

After years of solitude, it’s hard to resent Richard for pursuing both options simultaneously, stringing along two people who probably deserve better. It’s not easy being broke in Brooklyn. After years of going dutch, he’d finally found someone to pay the metaphorical cheque.

In the end, Richard’s self-delusion, narcissism and indecisiveness are no match for Blake and Anne’s goodwill. In a masterful crescendo of anxiety, the situation comes to a head and the reader has no choice but to turn on our sympathetic hero.

The harder it was to like Richard, the more I felt compelled to understand why. I quickly realised two things that convinced me to stick around.

Firstly, Richard is a product of his late-capitalism surface-obsessed environment, in a city where every relationship seems transactional. James Gregor’s novel is filled with sharp observational insights into a society that discourages any kind of healthy inner-life.

Secondly, Richard holds up a mirror to the reader, and I could see some of my own flaws reflected there (and I’m not talking about attractive flaws either). Unmoored, Richard moves through life without logic or planning. He’s unable to recognize that this is true of most people, whatever their curated social media profiles might advertise.

New York City has grown up, left its adolescent excesses behind as it gentrified into middle-of-the-road consumerist adulthood (a land of “solar-powered taco stands” and “metallurgically bitter coffee”). Richard is unable to do the same, late to grasp that coming out is only half the battle (especially in a world where being gay fails to raise an eyebrow), taking responsibility for oneself is much, much harder.

Going Dutch is a skillful portrait of a life in stasis, of a man in a permanent state of deferral. Many will be put off by the unlikable Richard. It’s a shame because Gregor James has created a complex and revealing character whose meandering journey holds the key to understanding a much wider malaise. That the ride is uncomfortable is precisely the point.

SH Canada

A brilliant character study of a flawed millennial anti-hero.

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 3, 2020

Verified Purchase

I loved this book and couldn’t put it down. The character development was superb.

Amazon Customer

Overwritten

Reviewed in Germany 🇩🇪 on January 3, 2021

Verified Purchase

Good story, but overwritten

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