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Sheila Wray Gregoire

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) Paperback – March 4, 2012

by Sheila Wray Gregoire (Author)

1,244 ratings

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The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot
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Billions of people have had sex. Far fewer have made love. In the Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how sexual intimacy was designed to be physically stupendous but also incredibly intimate.

Whether you're about to walk down the aisle or you've been married for decades, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.

With humor, research, and lots of anecdotes, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how our culture's version of sex, which concentrates on the physical above all else, makes sex shallow. God, on the other hand, intended sex to unite us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Gregoire walks through these three aspects of sex, showing how to make each amazing, and how to overcome the roadblocks in each area we often encounter.

Drawing on survey results from over 2,000 people, she also includes lots of voices from other Good Girls, giving insight into how other women have learned to truly enjoy sex in marriage.

Print length

272 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Zondervan
Publication date

March 4, 2012
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
ISBN-10

9780310334095
ISBN-13

978-0310334095
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Gregoire answers questions about nuts and bolts. She also writes from a covenantal view: Sex is created by God for our good and His glory. She conveys a basic message that marriage is a lifelong endeavor, that husbands and wives have time to experiment, and that communication and trust facilitate good sex. Like a funny big sister, she takes on intimate topics in a frank and reassuring way. She writes for those who are engaged, newlyweds, and for those who are sexually experienced and want to gain a biblical understanding. She cautions against laziness and also against the temptations that porn has made popular. -- WORLD Magazine

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0310334098
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Zondervan; And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun edition (March 4, 2012)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780310334095
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0310334095
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #145,050 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews:
1,244 ratings

About the author

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Sheila Wray Gregoire

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Sheila Wray Gregoire is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex! A popular speaker, marriage blogger, and award-winning author of seven books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, she wants to challenge Christians to go beyond pat answers on marriage to reach real intimacy. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face. She and her husband Keith spend a lot of their time touring North America in an RV, speaking at marriage conferences, hiking, and birdwatching. The parents to two adult daughters, you can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she’s either knitting, blogging, or taking her grandson out for a walk.

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LJCabs

Disappointed

Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2019

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I have heard such good things about this book so I decided to read it. I wanted to like it. I really did. But the content is so biased and borderline abusive. On one page she blames a woman for destroying her marriage because of “swearing off sex” after her hysterectomy left her with no libido. Her husband said he needed to find it somewhere else then. So she says this woman destroyed her marriage. Not even two pages later, discusses how terrible it is for men with ED not to be able to have sex so it’s important to share affection in other ways like cuddling. Why was this not enough for the low-libido wife’s husband? So incredibly biased and misogynistic.
On a different note, the entire usage of the phrase “good girl” is repulsive. “Good girls do this... good girls do that...” There are no good and bad girls. We are all made in the image of God, and he has declared us GOOD. Also, the “good girl dares” are so embarrassingly cheesy and strange.
To sum it up, this book left me feeling angry, sad, and disappointed.

171 people found this helpful

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Rebecca W. Clarke

Misogynistic and misinformed

Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2019

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I love the premise of this book--that there are benefits to faithful, monogamous, marital sex. However, that premise is never realized, and the book left me frustrated that I read it at all. To be candid, I identify as a religious woman: I attend church weekly, serve in my congregation, have been married and monogamous for 23 years, and all that jazz. I was excited to learn about the unique blessings of my lifestyle, and find ways to enrich my most intimate relationship further still. I was even hoping to share this book with my daughters as they approached marriage.

I will not be sharing this book with anyone. In fact, I tossed it in the recycling bin as soon as I finished the last page. This book has so much promise (again, what a great argument to attempt to make), but the bashing (and bashing and bashing) of "bad girls" throughout wore me down. Shaming women who have made choices that are different from mine? I wanted to learn about religiosity, fidelity, monogamy, and the power that those things can give a relationship. I wanted my daughters to hear from others in addition to myself what a gift religiosity, fidelity, and monogamy are in terms of creating a rich intimate relationship. And I wanted those insights to come not only from the author, but to be backed by research--at least a little bit of research. Instead, as I read I somehow ended up feeling like a self-righteous high-schooler standing at my locker snickering with my "good girl" friends at the girls who were not making (or have not made) the same choices I have. What is the point of spending so much time bashing others?

The self-righteousness is one thing, but the misinformation is another. Telling women that men "need" sex? Ummmm . . . no. No. And no. No one ever died from not having sex. Telling women that if he doesn't "get relief" he will be in pain until he ejaculates? What? Seriously, what on earth? I am afraid that this book hurts more than it helps. It would likely be hurtful to anyone who has had any sexual experiences outside of marriage, might hurt those who are “good girls” and now feel like they have the right to bash “bad girls,” and would certainly create misperceptions in those who have not yet had any sexual experiences.

I wanted to read and share in something informative, frank, and fun. Unfortunately, I read something misogynistic and misinformed.

139 people found this helpful

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notchland88

Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2017

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My husband and I, along with our pastor and his wife and another long-married couple in our church, do a yearly group with engaged couples, to discuss issues they will encounter in their first year of marriage. I read this book to see if it would be a good one to give to all the girls who go through our “marriage prep” group, and was super happy to see so much helpful stuff in one place. I will definitely be handing it out to the girls!! However, not without some comments and probably some parts blacked out. Here are a few concerns:

I HATE THE TITLE. The concept of good girls vs. bad girls is so wrong. I understand how the author is using those terms, but I just feel like it’s an unfortunate choice, and not nearly as powerful as what I think the real concept is: counter-culture sex. We need to reform and recapture sex as something that God made to be an expression of love and unity, and a picture of Christ and the Church. This is for all those strong women who want God’s best for their marriage and family, including sex. It contains lots of wisdom for helping us navigate the errors of our culture and some common errors found in Christian sub-culture, and “good girl/bad girl” just doesn’t do that concept justice.

Then there are the “Good Girl Dares.” I put black tape over most of these. It’s not that I object to anything they suggest (nothing suggested is “dirty” or wrong) – it’s the fact of suggesting that I object to. Here are three reasons why, written to an engaged girl:

The first is just the fun that you would miss out on of coming up with these things on your own. Some of them you will think of within your first year. Others maybe not ‘til your tenth. Still others, maybe never, but then – what will you really be missing, if you’re satisfied with your relationship 25 years from now, and are still growing in love for each other? So take the time to come up with your own little games, flirts, special sex treats – you don’t need a cleaned-up version of Cosmopolitan magazine.

Second, there is the danger of a sensitive woman, eager to please her man, feeling pressure that she has to be willing to do all these things in order to be a good lover. And thinking that if she doesn’t feel comfortable with one or more of them there’s something wrong with her or she’s a prude. Remember that this author has nearly twenty five years of learning and getting more comfortable with her husband. Why shouldn’t you have the chance to learn over time and at a pace that suits you, too?

Third, any young husband who reads these suggestions will likely want to try every one of them. This week. There could be the temptation for a man to feel discontented if his sex relationship isn’t there yet, or if his wife isn’t ready for something that sounds quite good to him. Which will only make his wife feel more pressure, and PRESSURE IS THE ENEMY OF GOOD SEX.

If you ever find yourself in the position of wanting some suggestions for spicing up your love life, first ask your husband. In fact, I can't emphasize enough - START TALKING FROM DAY ONE about what you and he each want, what feels good, what you might like but aren’t sure (and feel free to change your mind!) If you ever feel like you need more ideas, order an unaltered copy of the book. My guess is that, with lots of time and trust and learning to be more vulnerable with each other, a book of ideas won’t be necessary. But some people do find them helpful, and this one is certainly better than Sheet Music (a popular Christian book that is chock-full of tons of pressure, I mean suggestions from an old pro) or Cosmo.

The last change I’ve made is to add underlines and notes. I found this book to be a real gift to women – very straight-forward and open. Much of what we try to tell girls in marriage prep is here, where they can read it in private. However, the author is not as careful to balance some of her statements as I would like her to be, especially for that sensitive, eager-to-please woman I mentioned earlier. That woman sometimes needs to have the pressure taken off preemptively. So I make some balancing notes in addition to underlining some things I think are excellent and helpful.

Overall, this is a winner. But I feel like it needs a bit of an overhaul – get rid of the title (and its repetition of the good/bad girl theme throughout the book) and the “dares,” and it would be 75% better.

232 people found this helpful

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Zamgirl

Couldn't get past the first couple of chapters of christian moralising

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 19, 2021

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I've no idea whether this book has any good information on sex as the first couple of chapters moralising on christianity, what a "good girl" is (married), why "bad girls" (unmarried) are really unhappy and what god wants you to do put me off completely.

One person found this helpful

Sarah

Worth a read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 12, 2016

Verified Purchase

Really good book and worth a read. My only issue was the amount of the book focusing on having sex for the first time and the expectations that go with it. Great if you had the traditional Christian no-sex-before-marriage, but a lot of wasted book if you didn't.
Other than that, very helpful in putting a different view on how important sex is to a healthy marriage.

One person found this helpful

George

Hooray we're normal

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 12, 2017

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I'm one for blunt honesty and reality checks when it comes to real life issues, this book hit the spot. I just loved the simplicity with which this book is written making the issues and solutions seem normal. I'm not alone but things are a changing.

3 people found this helpful

Chrysti H

Where was this book when we got married 6 years ...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2016

Verified Purchase

Where was this book when we got married 6 years ago? It has given me a refreshing perspective on how God intends for sex to work within marriage. Full of practical advice, it's transformed our marriage.

DHJ

Enjoyable study... Practicle application!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 22, 2014

Verified Purchase

Excellent and insightful book. I learnt that what's happens o/s bedroom is as important as what happens in the bedroom.

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The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) Paperback – March 4, 2012

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