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![The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers by [Sheila Wray Gregoire, Keith Ronald Gregoire]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41Y3D56Y6uS._SY346_.jpg)
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| The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex | The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex | |
| About the Book | The totally revamped Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex helps women embrace themselves; understand why pleasure can be elusive—and how to overcome those roadblocks; and reclaim the pleasure and passion God meant for them. | The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex respects men and their desires. Sheila and Keith’s words guide men to hold their spouse’s desires and drives with care, understanding that her pleasure and response is the key to great sex long term. |
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Customer reviews
This book could be a life-changer for your marriage.
Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
Every once in a while, I find a book that makes me wonder "how have we, as humans, survived this long without accepting the truths presented in this book as common knowledge?" "The Good Guys Guide to Great $3ks" (TGGGTGS) is one of those books. (And I think the answer to my question is: yes we've survived, but we've really struggled in this area, to the great detriment of women.)I can honestly say that in my experience, TGGGTGS is the first of its kind. I've never before read a book that presents healthy $3ksuality for men, from a Christian perspective, in such a holistic manner.This review has two parts: 1) review of the content and 2) what I learned/had confirmed.1) ContentTGGGTGS is comprised of three parts. The first part lays a great foundation by doing three things. The first is explaining why great $3ks is closely tied with intimacy and why the $3ksual experience was designed for both the husband and wife EQUALLY. The second is providing a great summary of the physical aspects of $3ks: i.e, body parts involved and how $3ks actually works. The third, and I think most eye-opening to me, is explaining the $3ksual response cycle, and how it differs between men and women (generally speaking). This chapter alone should be a game-changer for most couples.The second part delves into the three components of great $3ks: physical pleasure, emotional companionship and closeness, and spiritual intimacy and oneness. This is the meat of the book and there is too much for me to unpack in this review but I want to highlight some key points.The first is that there is a huge orgasm gap between men and women, especially in the church. I think many of us have been indoctrinated into thinking that women aren't as $3ksual as men, or only want $3ks so they can feel an emotional connection. I believe this leads to the belief that women don't really need to orgasm and the fact that many husbands don't prioritize it. The Gregoires discuss this in depth and explains why it is so important for our marriages that husbands prioritize our wives pleasure in the bedroom.The second major point of this section is that $3ks and intimacy are inextricably linked and that $3ks is more about making love than just "having $3ks." On page 122, this is summed up extremely well:'Great $3ks, then, isn't saying "I want $3ks." Great $3ks is about saying "I want you." I want to know you. I want to experience everything with you. I want to feel like we are one. "Being one" - that spiritual connection- is the completion of physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. Once we figure out how our bodies work together, once we become vulnerable with one another and share with each other, then passion naturally flows.'The third major point I wish to highlight in the second part is the harm that pornography does. The chapter on this is very helpful because it dispels existing myths concerning porn use and also presents several encouraging facts.The third part is a short wrap-up with only one chapter but it is important because it challenges husbands to create intimacy with their wives regardless of libido differences. There are also two appendices at the end: the first prepares you for your honeymoon, and the second has discussion questions.I want to emphasize that what I've just written is barely scratching the surface of what is in TGGGTGS. There are many other important points that are discussed throughout the book.Stylistically speaking, the book is very easy to read and it is also well edited.2) What I learned / had confirmedThere is a huge lack of proper guidance from the church on human $3ksuality. It is either not talked about at all, or it is presented from the context of "men need $3ks, women need emotional intimacy." That message (which has seemingly been the ONLY Christian message about $3ks) is terrible. The reason it's terrible is this: it completely dismisses the truth that $3ks was created by God to be mutually enjoyable for both husbands AND wives. There is a huge segment of women in the Church who have been completely short-changed by this old message. And there is a huge segment of men in the church who don't realize that they ALSO have been short-changed by that message.I think one of the reasons men buy into that message is because of this: we experience some truth in it. But I don't think it is a truth based on what is actually healthy. I think we experience it because we are actually broken. For instance, I think that men believe that we have a deep physical need for $3ks. But what I've learned is that what we really have a deep need for is intimacy. But we conflate the two because 1) they are tied together, and 2) we don't know what intimacy looks like. So we think we are not getting enough $3ks, but what we are really not getting enough of is intimacy. I think a huge population of Christian men don't have a truly intimate connection with their wives. This results in a lack of trust and wives not having as strong a desire for $3ks as the husbands. This results in men feeling like they aren't "getting enough."What if that old message is wrong? What if that deep down- your wife is a $3ksual dynamo- and all it would take for you to experience $3ksual bliss with her is for you to do some work on yourself? Maybe change some of your preconceived notions? Work, such as the following: ensuring that you treat her as an equal. This will help win her trust. Prioritize intimacy and connection. Get to KNOW her. Be a man who resembles Christ in acting like a servant-leader rather than a tyrant. Don't feel or act entitled to $3ks. Be a giver rather than a taker in the bedroom. Take the time to understand your wife's body and what turns HER on. Be patient, and prioritize her pleasure. These suggestions are just a brief summary of suggestions found throughout the book. And, I can speak from experience, that if you do these things- your satisfaction with your $3ks life will shoot through the roof. You will care less and less about the quantity of $3ks you think need, and more and more about the quality of the $3ks you are actually sharing with your wife.I recognize the truths presented in TGGGTGS, not because I discovered them in the book, but because it's taken 25 (often pain-staking) years to learn them (with my wife's help) and put them into practice. I have a blissful marriage with my wife. We enjoy deep and mutually satisfying emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy. It was not always this way. We both had to complete a MASSIVE amount of hard work to get here. We had to heal from trauma. We had to learn how to communicate and how to be transparent. We had to be humble and accept sometimes that we were just going to have to tough it out. I am telling you though, that I believe that we would not have had to work nearly as hard as we did, if we had a book to read JUST LIKE THIS ONE. The Gregoires took all the things we've learned the hard way and packaged them up (with a few other things that were new to me) in an easy-to-read book.In conclusion, I want to say that I would spare you the trial and error that I went through. I believe TGGGTGS will start you out on the right course if you are single or newly married or put you on the right course if you have the Christ-like humility to be able to allow it to change you.
Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
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Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2022
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Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
I can honestly say that in my experience, TGGGTGS is the first of its kind. I've never before read a book that presents healthy $3ksuality for men, from a Christian perspective, in such a holistic manner.
This review has two parts: 1) review of the content and 2) what I learned/had confirmed.
1) Content
TGGGTGS is comprised of three parts. The first part lays a great foundation by doing three things. The first is explaining why great $3ks is closely tied with intimacy and why the $3ksual experience was designed for both the husband and wife EQUALLY. The second is providing a great summary of the physical aspects of $3ks: i.e, body parts involved and how $3ks actually works. The third, and I think most eye-opening to me, is explaining the $3ksual response cycle, and how it differs between men and women (generally speaking). This chapter alone should be a game-changer for most couples.
The second part delves into the three components of great $3ks: physical pleasure, emotional companionship and closeness, and spiritual intimacy and oneness. This is the meat of the book and there is too much for me to unpack in this review but I want to highlight some key points.
The first is that there is a huge orgasm gap between men and women, especially in the church. I think many of us have been indoctrinated into thinking that women aren't as $3ksual as men, or only want $3ks so they can feel an emotional connection. I believe this leads to the belief that women don't really need to orgasm and the fact that many husbands don't prioritize it. The Gregoires discuss this in depth and explains why it is so important for our marriages that husbands prioritize our wives pleasure in the bedroom.
The second major point of this section is that $3ks and intimacy are inextricably linked and that $3ks is more about making love than just "having $3ks." On page 122, this is summed up extremely well:
'Great $3ks, then, isn't saying "I want $3ks." Great $3ks is about saying "I want you." I want to know you. I want to experience everything with you. I want to feel like we are one. "Being one" - that spiritual connection- is the completion of physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. Once we figure out how our bodies work together, once we become vulnerable with one another and share with each other, then passion naturally flows.'
The third major point I wish to highlight in the second part is the harm that pornography does. The chapter on this is very helpful because it dispels existing myths concerning porn use and also presents several encouraging facts.
The third part is a short wrap-up with only one chapter but it is important because it challenges husbands to create intimacy with their wives regardless of libido differences. There are also two appendices at the end: the first prepares you for your honeymoon, and the second has discussion questions.
I want to emphasize that what I've just written is barely scratching the surface of what is in TGGGTGS. There are many other important points that are discussed throughout the book.
Stylistically speaking, the book is very easy to read and it is also well edited.
2) What I learned / had confirmed
There is a huge lack of proper guidance from the church on human $3ksuality. It is either not talked about at all, or it is presented from the context of "men need $3ks, women need emotional intimacy." That message (which has seemingly been the ONLY Christian message about $3ks) is terrible. The reason it's terrible is this: it completely dismisses the truth that $3ks was created by God to be mutually enjoyable for both husbands AND wives. There is a huge segment of women in the Church who have been completely short-changed by this old message. And there is a huge segment of men in the church who don't realize that they ALSO have been short-changed by that message.
I think one of the reasons men buy into that message is because of this: we experience some truth in it. But I don't think it is a truth based on what is actually healthy. I think we experience it because we are actually broken. For instance, I think that men believe that we have a deep physical need for $3ks. But what I've learned is that what we really have a deep need for is intimacy. But we conflate the two because 1) they are tied together, and 2) we don't know what intimacy looks like. So we think we are not getting enough $3ks, but what we are really not getting enough of is intimacy. I think a huge population of Christian men don't have a truly intimate connection with their wives. This results in a lack of trust and wives not having as strong a desire for $3ks as the husbands. This results in men feeling like they aren't "getting enough."
What if that old message is wrong? What if that deep down- your wife is a $3ksual dynamo- and all it would take for you to experience $3ksual bliss with her is for you to do some work on yourself? Maybe change some of your preconceived notions? Work, such as the following: ensuring that you treat her as an equal. This will help win her trust. Prioritize intimacy and connection. Get to KNOW her. Be a man who resembles Christ in acting like a servant-leader rather than a tyrant. Don't feel or act entitled to $3ks. Be a giver rather than a taker in the bedroom. Take the time to understand your wife's body and what turns HER on. Be patient, and prioritize her pleasure. These suggestions are just a brief summary of suggestions found throughout the book. And, I can speak from experience, that if you do these things- your satisfaction with your $3ks life will shoot through the roof. You will care less and less about the quantity of $3ks you think need, and more and more about the quality of the $3ks you are actually sharing with your wife.
I recognize the truths presented in TGGGTGS, not because I discovered them in the book, but because it's taken 25 (often pain-staking) years to learn them (with my wife's help) and put them into practice. I have a blissful marriage with my wife. We enjoy deep and mutually satisfying emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy. It was not always this way. We both had to complete a MASSIVE amount of hard work to get here. We had to heal from trauma. We had to learn how to communicate and how to be transparent. We had to be humble and accept sometimes that we were just going to have to tough it out. I am telling you though, that I believe that we would not have had to work nearly as hard as we did, if we had a book to read JUST LIKE THIS ONE. The Gregoires took all the things we've learned the hard way and packaged them up (with a few other things that were new to me) in an easy-to-read book.
In conclusion, I want to say that I would spare you the trial and error that I went through. I believe TGGGTGS will start you out on the right course if you are single or newly married or put you on the right course if you have the Christ-like humility to be able to allow it to change you.
Verified Purchase
This book could be a life-changer for your marriage.
Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
Every once in a while, I find a book that makes me wonder "how have we, as humans, survived this long without accepting the truths presented in this book as common knowledge?" "The Good Guys Guide to Great $3ks" (TGGGTGS) is one of those books. (And I think the answer to my question is: yes we've survived, but we've really struggled in this area, to the great detriment of women.)Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
I can honestly say that in my experience, TGGGTGS is the first of its kind. I've never before read a book that presents healthy $3ksuality for men, from a Christian perspective, in such a holistic manner.
This review has two parts: 1) review of the content and 2) what I learned/had confirmed.
1) Content
TGGGTGS is comprised of three parts. The first part lays a great foundation by doing three things. The first is explaining why great $3ks is closely tied with intimacy and why the $3ksual experience was designed for both the husband and wife EQUALLY. The second is providing a great summary of the physical aspects of $3ks: i.e, body parts involved and how $3ks actually works. The third, and I think most eye-opening to me, is explaining the $3ksual response cycle, and how it differs between men and women (generally speaking). This chapter alone should be a game-changer for most couples.
The second part delves into the three components of great $3ks: physical pleasure, emotional companionship and closeness, and spiritual intimacy and oneness. This is the meat of the book and there is too much for me to unpack in this review but I want to highlight some key points.
The first is that there is a huge orgasm gap between men and women, especially in the church. I think many of us have been indoctrinated into thinking that women aren't as $3ksual as men, or only want $3ks so they can feel an emotional connection. I believe this leads to the belief that women don't really need to orgasm and the fact that many husbands don't prioritize it. The Gregoires discuss this in depth and explains why it is so important for our marriages that husbands prioritize our wives pleasure in the bedroom.
The second major point of this section is that $3ks and intimacy are inextricably linked and that $3ks is more about making love than just "having $3ks." On page 122, this is summed up extremely well:
'Great $3ks, then, isn't saying "I want $3ks." Great $3ks is about saying "I want you." I want to know you. I want to experience everything with you. I want to feel like we are one. "Being one" - that spiritual connection- is the completion of physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. Once we figure out how our bodies work together, once we become vulnerable with one another and share with each other, then passion naturally flows.'
The third major point I wish to highlight in the second part is the harm that pornography does. The chapter on this is very helpful because it dispels existing myths concerning porn use and also presents several encouraging facts.
The third part is a short wrap-up with only one chapter but it is important because it challenges husbands to create intimacy with their wives regardless of libido differences. There are also two appendices at the end: the first prepares you for your honeymoon, and the second has discussion questions.
I want to emphasize that what I've just written is barely scratching the surface of what is in TGGGTGS. There are many other important points that are discussed throughout the book.
Stylistically speaking, the book is very easy to read and it is also well edited.
2) What I learned / had confirmed
There is a huge lack of proper guidance from the church on human $3ksuality. It is either not talked about at all, or it is presented from the context of "men need $3ks, women need emotional intimacy." That message (which has seemingly been the ONLY Christian message about $3ks) is terrible. The reason it's terrible is this: it completely dismisses the truth that $3ks was created by God to be mutually enjoyable for both husbands AND wives. There is a huge segment of women in the Church who have been completely short-changed by this old message. And there is a huge segment of men in the church who don't realize that they ALSO have been short-changed by that message.
I think one of the reasons men buy into that message is because of this: we experience some truth in it. But I don't think it is a truth based on what is actually healthy. I think we experience it because we are actually broken. For instance, I think that men believe that we have a deep physical need for $3ks. But what I've learned is that what we really have a deep need for is intimacy. But we conflate the two because 1) they are tied together, and 2) we don't know what intimacy looks like. So we think we are not getting enough $3ks, but what we are really not getting enough of is intimacy. I think a huge population of Christian men don't have a truly intimate connection with their wives. This results in a lack of trust and wives not having as strong a desire for $3ks as the husbands. This results in men feeling like they aren't "getting enough."
What if that old message is wrong? What if that deep down- your wife is a $3ksual dynamo- and all it would take for you to experience $3ksual bliss with her is for you to do some work on yourself? Maybe change some of your preconceived notions? Work, such as the following: ensuring that you treat her as an equal. This will help win her trust. Prioritize intimacy and connection. Get to KNOW her. Be a man who resembles Christ in acting like a servant-leader rather than a tyrant. Don't feel or act entitled to $3ks. Be a giver rather than a taker in the bedroom. Take the time to understand your wife's body and what turns HER on. Be patient, and prioritize her pleasure. These suggestions are just a brief summary of suggestions found throughout the book. And, I can speak from experience, that if you do these things- your satisfaction with your $3ks life will shoot through the roof. You will care less and less about the quantity of $3ks you think need, and more and more about the quality of the $3ks you are actually sharing with your wife.
I recognize the truths presented in TGGGTGS, not because I discovered them in the book, but because it's taken 25 (often pain-staking) years to learn them (with my wife's help) and put them into practice. I have a blissful marriage with my wife. We enjoy deep and mutually satisfying emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy. It was not always this way. We both had to complete a MASSIVE amount of hard work to get here. We had to heal from trauma. We had to learn how to communicate and how to be transparent. We had to be humble and accept sometimes that we were just going to have to tough it out. I am telling you though, that I believe that we would not have had to work nearly as hard as we did, if we had a book to read JUST LIKE THIS ONE. The Gregoires took all the things we've learned the hard way and packaged them up (with a few other things that were new to me) in an easy-to-read book.
In conclusion, I want to say that I would spare you the trial and error that I went through. I believe TGGGTGS will start you out on the right course if you are single or newly married or put you on the right course if you have the Christ-like humility to be able to allow it to change you.
Images in this review
Top reviews from other countries
Mark
Great read to get your sex life headed in the right direction from the start!
Reviewed in Canada on March 17, 2022Verified Purchase
E
A MUST-READ
Reviewed in Canada on March 17, 2022Verified Purchase
Claypete
Fresh, Healthy, Wholistic & Biblical
Reviewed in Canada on March 17, 2022Verified Purchase
Happy Customer
Excellent book
Reviewed in Canada on March 20, 2022Verified Purchase
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