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Showing 1-10 of 365 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 530 reviews
on May 21, 2016
I was stuck. I was trapped. I was caught in a war between ethics and ideals.

Marriage, to me, was it. It was for life. There never was any other alternative. Even in the circumstances I was in where my very well being was under attack, I still found it difficult. I constantly thought "well ... what if THIS time is different. Then your relationship will have a bond that's immeasurable. You'll be free of all fear and all doubt."

When I got this book it was my plan to read through it and reaffirm my reasons to stay. To be able to move forward, fully committed and free of fear. I was desperately hunting for something to tell me it was okay to stay. That staying was the right choice.

Upon reading the beginning of the book, I saw all of the words about staying. All of the benefits and clarity that comes. I thought this was the perfect book.

I took every single question seriously. Deliberately, trying to make the best of every single memory while remaining truly honest with myself in the process. I wrote down every answer. I let time pass and read it again, trying to make sure it was the mood of the moment. I thought I was building the case to stay.

I found that it was time to leave.

It's been 3.5 years after an 11 year relationship.

It was simple. It was honest. This is truly a powerful book.
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on February 9, 2017
Excellent approach to gaining individual insight into marital issues. Very helpful in terms of clearly identifing problems and identifing with others with similar issues.
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on August 29, 2017
This is a wonderful book. In a relationship of not. It really defines how to know when its workable or not. As well as give thought to past relationships and why they did or did not work. Highly recommend this.
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on May 18, 2016
This book was recommended by a long time, experienced counselor. I found it to be extremely helpful. It leads you through questions about relationship, a little at a time. You are able to look at a relationship more objectively and helps you come to your own conclusion about it. It presents the things that are deal breakers, as well. Would be helpful for yourself or to offer a friend or family member who is struggling with a relationship.
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on April 19, 2015
This book has all the answers - not just for how to decide if you're staying, but also what to do during and after you follow through with your decision (including great advice if your decision is to stay). I had my answer after Chapter 6 about power issues. If this chapter is also meaningful to you, I suggest you look around for more resources about domestically violent relationships - you don't have to have bruises to be in one. Look up terms like, "violence wheel," and "gas lighting."
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on January 28, 2014
This book helps define problem areas in your marriage or relationship by providing concrete questions to consider and answer. I found it to be very helpful. There are several answers that we are now currently trying to work on with the help of marriage counseling. If they do not improve then this book helped me find the clarity I needed.
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on March 6, 2016
I personally loved the way this was written. It removes the complex emotions and focuses on the facts of a relationship in order to make an educated decision. Some may not care for the "clinical" feel but I found it refreshing.
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on December 12, 2013
I was skeptical about this book based on the reviews. This was recommended to me by our marriage counselor and I learned more about myself than anything by reading this book. Our marriage isn't fixed yet, we're still working on it, but I will say my perspective on our issues have greatly changed since reading this book and meeting with a counselor. There is nothing better than knowledge when tough decisions are being weighed, and I know that whatever our decision is at the end of our agreed period to try and work through it, it will be a good and correct decision.
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on December 11, 2015
This is an eye opening assessment in a relationship. The examples and questions are well thought out and would be good to read on your own or even to use for good conversations in a relationship. I've shared it with at least a few persons since I read it and will probably read it again myself. It is one of those things you'd want to return to even in self examination.
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on October 13, 2007
Excellent, direct, and full of case studies. Very helpful advice as it relates to each scenario and example of relationships and their foundations from which they are built. Just when you were asking yourself, "What does she mean by this?" the author would write, "and for those of you who are wondering what I mean by this...." and she would give a complete explanation to help the reader apply it to themselves. Her no-nonsense approach accomplished precisely the reader's goal of answering that "stay or go" question. She keeps the reader from waffling around getting at the real meat of the question by sticking to her pointed questions that we are assigned to ponder and answer truthfully. Truly helpful for that next step, after your friends' advice and counsel start to fall on deaf ears and fail to move you into action, one way or the other.
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