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Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck Paperback – June 3, 2014
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“Alkon not only tells readers what good manners are but also provides useful suggestions for politely calling offenders’ attention to their rudeness. And she does this in a ferociously funny style--it’s worth a read for the laughs alone. There is nothing here of the proper arrangement of table setting, nor of how to address a letter to the Archbishop of Canterbury; rather Alkon deals with modern problems in interpersonal relationships, such as how civilized people should act when standing in lines, on airplanes, online, and elsewhere. In addition, she officers very dependable, sensible, caring advice to those whose friends or family are coping with terminal illness. VERDICT: Solid psychology and a wealth of helpful knowledge and rapier wit fill these pages. Highly recommended.” ―Library Journal (starred review)
“This book is a gem. Hysterically funny and grounded in science, Amy Alkon explains why so many people are rude and how it's possible to be courteous, even if you're foul-mouthed and clueless about etiquette.” ―Dr. Adam Grant, Wharton School professor and New York Times-bestselling author of Give and Take
“I can say without reservation that Good Manners For Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck is hilarious, consistently entertaining, and, above all, wise. It's Emily Post as a beach read.” ―Charlotte Allen, The Weekly Standard
“She is chatty, at times outrageous, but full of ideas about living politely in a society that she says has become too big for our brains to handle. As for Oscar Wilde, at the end of his life is said to have commented: ‘The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.'” ―Moira Hodgson, The Wall Street Journal
“If you're frequently left gasping by the jaw-dropping social ineptitude of your fellow human beings, or you're guilty of being a rude jackass yourself from time to time, this is the book for you. Alkon doesn't suffer fools lightly, but she also has the gentle wisdom to know that each of us plays the role of the fool sometimes. Armed with fascinating science, great humor, and a preternatural bullshit detector for a mind, she shoots from the hip – and you'll be damn glad she does, too.” ―Dr. Jesse Bering, Associate Professor of Science Communication and author of Perv
“Contradiction is part of what makes Ms. Alkon so captivating. Perhaps the biggest contradiction: The hisser can also be utterly lovely.” ―Brooks Barnes, The New York Times
“Although the subject matter should be enough to hold your attention, it is primarily Amy's ability to turn a phrase that makes the book such a good ride. Her section headings (e.g., 'Dating is War,' 'Murder-Suicide and Other Forms of Diplomacy,' 'The Tragedy of the Asshole in the Commons') make it impossible to put the book down and get back to work without reading just one more section. I highly recommend this book.” ―Dr. Frank McAndrew, Evolutionary Psychology journal
“In this comprehensive, science-based, easy-to-read, and hilarious book, Alkon looks at where our rudeness comes from and provides tangible ways for all of us to deal with it.” ―Dr. Jennifer Verdolin, Psychology Today
“One of '11 Smart Books You Should Read This Summer'” ―Sam McNerney, 250Words.com
“This crazy redhead is on to something. Her pink Rambler story alone is worth the price of the book.” ―Elmore Leonard on I See Rude People
“Amy Alkon is intellectually promiscuous―and funny as hell.” ―Howard Bloom, paleopsychologist and author of The Lucifer Principle on I See Rude People
“Seriously great book. Alkon is smart and savvy and funny as hell. Where Hannibal the Cannibal only ate the rude, Alkon stands up to them with the sort of glorious panache that sometimes makes you want to stand and cheer.” ―David Middleton, January Magazine on I See Rude People
“Alkon turns reporting on findings in evolutionary psychology into an art form. She scans the research horizon for fascinating new results. Though relentless in her skepticism, she is keenly attuned to findings that are both solid and suggestive. (The world lost a great analyst when Alkon turned away from academic research.) In her hands, all this research turns into practical advice for how ordinary people can live better lives. Alkon may be, as the LA Weekly put it, 'Miss Manners With Fangs,' but she is perhaps better characterized as the offspring of Charles Darwin and Dorothy Parker. We academics can all take a lesson from her ability to redefine academic turf in terms 'the ordinary person' can both understand and enjoy.” ―Dr. Barbara Oakley, Oakland University on Amy Alkon
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
She will use a charmingly old-fashioned word like "masher" in reference to a possible Facebook creep and then use a wonderfully modern 'mot juste' like "moochspam" in reference to people trying to hit up their entire contact list for some crowd funding project. The book is laid out in highly digestible bites but is also engaging and amusing enough to reward deep draughts as well (to mix a consuming metaphor).
This a book for anyone and everyone. Those [people who say "f*ck" all the time and those who never do. Reading this book will make you a better person and since I have to live in a world with you, I tell you: buy this book!
And I laughed on almost every page. On random friends who hit you up for money on Kickstarter: "He contacted me to ask me to pay into his Kickstarter fund to finance the distribution of some indie film he’d made. My response: “I would like to get a new pair of boots. Please send me $200 via PayPal.”
On talking with the person next to you on a plane: "Even when a seatmate seems open to chatting, you should look for signs suggesting his openness has closed, such as fidgeting or a little trickle of blood coming from his ear."
I'd post a bunch more but Amazon is being a real prude about curse words!
Great read, great science, full of life tips that are actually interesting, and funny throughout. I also think it would make a fun, cheeky gift to give a friend who's a bit of an a-hole...I have several in mind...
After buying "Good Manners" which I thoroughly enjoyed from cover to cover, I realized that the behavior of certain people upsets each one of us but the majority of us just walk away. As an activist for preventing further actions that cause misery to others, Amy differentiates from most people. She is a champion in this regard and takes action. We need more people in the world to step up to the plate and say or do something when slighted or offended.
You may not realize how much you need this book until you read it. This sassy, classy, redhead is assertive enough to take on the monumental task of spelling out everything you need to know about how to co-exist with almost eight billion other people without losing your sanity or your humanity. For example: do you know when it's OK to cold call someone? (Never.) When you should leave a voice mail? (Don't.) What to do when stuck in a row of airplane seats with four armrests for six arms? (The two end passengers get one and a half armrests each; the squishee in the middle gets two halves.)
Be prepared to find out some things about yourself that you didn't want to know. Are you a cheapskate who has been under-tipping? A helpful person giving out unwanted advice? Amy is such a talented and entertaining writer that she can say the things your friends won't tell you and do it with such humor and tact that you actually enjoy the process!
...And it's funny too.
(more details about this book are available on our website)
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This author exposes herself as someone who feels as if women deserve harassment because they weren't polite to someone who was demanding their attention when they were clearly... Read morePublished 1 month ago by J. Mueller
Amy Alkon doesn't waste a New York Minute cataloguing the most common - and least favourable - social faux pas of our time. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Dean Jones
If I could give this zero stars I would. This is the epitome of the "all about me" faction - someone complaining about the bad behavior of others because it interferes... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Homer Mamma
Exactly what we all need today in all demographics- the young who missed the basics of appropriate behavior during their rearing, and for their parents and grandparents who need to... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Donna Newby
Great author, down-to-earth-writing, right on and sometimes hilarious...Published 3 months ago by JULIE WEST
Amy Alkon is a kindred spirit. She finds the same problems with modern society as I do. This book should be a must-read for anyone who doesn't want to be considered a jackass. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Sally