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Grace-Based Parenting Paperback – May 15, 2005
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From Publishers Weekly
Kimmel, author and founder of Family Matters ministries, likens many Christian parents' attempts at rearing children to putting together a puzzle without first studying the completed picture located on the box's cover. Kimmel states that families of faith tend toward extremes, either being overly permissive or overly legalistic. This is not a particularly new concept, but Kimmel pulls it off with interesting storytelling and sound biblical parallels. He says Christians frequently believe that the battle for a child's heart and soul is fought on the outside-with rigid rules and boundaries-when in fact just the opposite is true. He underscores the importance of communicating the unconditional love that Christ offers and affirming this timeless message of grace to one's family. Despite the numerous examples the author cites where parents fail, this text is overwhelmingly upbeat with hope and possibility: Parents who strive to live a life of faith characterized by daily trust in God will pass on this message of possibility and potential to their offspring. Kimmel asserts that this "radical" mode of parenting will meet the three essential needs in kids' lives: for security, significance and strength. He assures parents that these needs can be met with grace-laced love, purpose and hope. Kimmel's gentle heart is evident in every chapter, and his obvious passion will spur frustrated parents to keep at the task with new resolve and optimism.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
"God gives us His grace - and each of us needs it. We also need to extend that gift to our children. Tim's many years of experience in grace-based parenting - both with his own family and teaching others – will help you give hope to you children." - Dennis Rainey, President of FamilyLife "Tim Kimmel writes with humor, hope, and an honesty that allows us all to let down our guard and allow God to meet us in our fears and regrets." - Dan B. Allender Ph.D., --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Top customer reviews
From the moment this book starts, it gives you a clear layout of different types of parenting. Starts with fear based, and then moves to grace based - which is where my husband and I want to be. It gives great examples and practical steps on how to raise Godly kids, and how to be more Godly yourself - accepting God's love, and then showing that Love to your kids. I highly recommend this book for first time parents as well as seasoned ones.
It does point out the most basic needs of children and some ways that we can be in tune to their needs in order to show Gods love in a way that they will interpret it best. This is not a book that is pro spanking or anti spanking but more about shepherding your child via your OWN living breathing walk with God. Basically, the most important factor in shepherding your child's heart is letting them see you rely on Jesus daily through the good and bad. One of the best quotes //paraphrased// "why would your child want the faith you have if they are seeing you live a never joyful and always fearful life"
Basically, If we aren't allowing God to work in our own daily struggles of life, why would we expect our kids to want to walk with God too?
Balancing: Truth and Grace, Support and Challenge, Protecting and Preparing, Connection and Autonomy, Structure and Connection, Intimacy and Autonomy, Structure and Flexibility (Scaffolding) The tension between Connection (attachment) and Autonomy/Solitude (differentiation), Boredom and Anxiety, and Love and Logic.
Leading and modeling with the intention for growth and intimacy by Grace NOT from a position of self protection initiated by fear and resulting in punishment... for all involved in the exchange!
Home should be a safe haven and secure base for our children where they can experience the freedom to be vulnerable. We must provide our children with validation and affirmation. By doing so, we emphasize empowerment and strength building rather than adding proof to the fact that they must focus on their personal safety, withdrawing and missing out on the necessary emotional bond with their parents, connection with others and intimate relationship with God.
I highly recommend this book for all parents of adolescents.