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Grace Meets Grit: How to Bring Out the Remarkable, Courageous Leader Within Hardcover – October 18, 2016
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About the Author
Throughout her career, Daina has been an advocate for women believing in a need for women and men to have a more inclusive and practical approach to working together. Her new book,Grace Meets Grit: The Leadership Style of Remarkable, Courageous Women, addresses this topic.
Daina recognized the transformational change to the marketing industry nearly a decade ago and began to develop ground-breaking techniques, including the Participation Way and innovative values for Nurturist organizations seeking thrive in the Participation Age. She published a book in 2012 called Marketing in the Participation Age: A Guide to Motivating People to Join, Share, Take Part, Connect, and Engage.
Daina serves as a director on the boards of Healthwise, the Teton Valley Community Foundation, and Marin Software. She is a member of the ad:tech Board of Advisors, and a regular international speaker with appearances at Social Media Week, ad:tech, WOMMA, Google, 3% Conference, VideoNuze, and iMedia. She has been named one of Mobile Marketers Mobile Women to Watch, and in 2013 received the Gold Stevie® Award in the Executive of the Year - Advertising, Marketing and Public Relations category, in the 10th annual Stevie Awards for Women in Business.
She loves the outdoors, fly-fishing, cross-country skiing, and horseback riding and chooses to live near Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
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As a futurist it seems to me that Ms. Middleton has put her finger on precisely what's needed to adapt to ever-changing business conditions and what leaders in the near future will be required to exemplify. Sometimes, yes, the "grit" most commonly associated with male power and authority (sadly, still!); but more and more the "grace" that women offer in terms of appreciating the need for collaboration, to seek out and include diverse voices, and integrate what might otherwise be considered conflicting perspectives.
I especially love Ms. Middleton's anecdote, early in the book, about how two very different executives -- Rick and Kate -- responded to their boss' directive on a project called Code Red. If anything underscores the fact that when a directive is issued, men and women tend to "hear" it quite differently, due to our psychological predispositions, this story does. To which senior leadership must decide whether they are truly rewarding the behaviors they say they want in their organizations, and the extent to which they are unconsciously under-appreciating what the more inclusive and collaborative among us bring to the table.
Basically, the focus of this book is on the different things men and women tend to bring to the office. As Middleton says, “women leaders are expected to adapt to the leadership expectations of their male counterparts and bosses. When they don’t and they receive negative feedback for it, female leaders may try to adjest their behaviors to fit the expectations. This adjustment might not be what you would expect. Some women try to change their style to be much more Grit, hoping to fit in with the guys. Other women try to stick with the cultural norms associated more with women leaders, emphasizing Grace. And worse, some may swing wildly between the both, depending on the situation. Regardless, the impact on a woman’s career is likely to be negative… There is a two-fold problem inherent in the process of leadership affirmation for women as they move into management. First, a male standard of leadership is most often used as the standard by which the effectiveness of the leadership is being judged. The cultural norm of leadership is one based on the leadership qualities associated with men, which I call “Grit.” A woman’s leadership behaviors may be dismissed or discounted because they may be inconsistent with this style of leadership even through the characteristics may be just as effective, or even more effective. What I call “Grace” leadership characteristics are valued less because they are outside the norm.”
For a better look at what is in the book, I’ll list the major subheadings in each chapter:
Introduction: Gender and Leadership Behaviors; Power from Combining Leadership Styles
PART 1: Gender Differences in Leadership Style
1: Understanding Leadership Through Grace and Grit – Communication Styles and Leadership Behaviors; Misunderstandings Arising from Style Differences; Inadequacy of the Equality Conversation; Change Driven by Understanding Gender Differences; Advantages of the “Grace Meets Grit” Approach
2: Why Grace Needs Grit – Management’s Unique Challenges for Women Leaders; Impacts of Perceptions About Leadership Behavior; Persistence of the Male Leadership Standard; The Inadequacy of Bias-Awareness Training; Changing Workplace Behavior Toward Women; Equal, Not the Same; Physiological Differences Driving Behavioral Differences; Benefits of Embracing Diversity; The Competitive Advantage of Collaboration
3: The Differences Between Grace and Grit – Engaging Followers Through Transformational Leadership; Today’s Broader Definition of Gender; Workplace Impacts of Culture, Age, Geography; Measuring Individuals by Leadership Behaviors; The Most Biased Leadership Behavior; Leadership Behaviors and Communication Style; Gender Differences in Early Childhood; Understanding the Status-Oriented Approach; Organizations’ Comfort with Male Leadership Style; The Value of Transformational Leaders; Blending Leadership Styles: Grace Meets Grit; Leadership Behaviors and the Three Leadership Styles; Transformational Leadership and the HP Way; Women’s Application of Transformational Leadership; Additional Benefits of Transformational Leadership; Attracting and Retaining Millennials; Judging Women by Traditional Traits; Measuring Employees by Leadership Behaviors
PART 2: The Leadership Behaviors
4: Inspiring – Traits of an Inspiring Leader; Becoming an Inspiring Leader; Inspiring Leadership: Malala Yousafzai; Applying Grace and Grit to Inspire; Historical Inspiration: Nellie Tayloe Ross; (inspiring: “Motivating others towards greater enthusiasm and commitment by appealing to emotion, values, and by personal example”)
5: Driven – Driven Leaders: Results Focused and Goal Directed: Focusing on Goals and People; Focusing on Relationships and Results; Driven Leadership: Wenda Harris Millard; Women’s Results-Driven Skills and Abilities; Women’s Multidimensional Leadership; The Danger of “Leaning In”; Historical Inspiration: The Driven Women of Jackson, Wyoming; (driven: “The ability to combine strong analytical skills with an intense motivation to move forward and solve problems”)
6: Decisive – Women’s Inclusive Approach to Making Decisions; The Most Biased Leadership Behavior; Using Decision Making to Evaluate Leadership Performance; Historical Inspiration: Esther Hobart Morris; (decisive: “The ability to make decisions in a timely and effective manner, resulting in a desired outcome”)
7: Confident – Quantifying Confidence; Gender Differences Regarding Certainty and Doubt; Women’s Focus on Competence, Not Confidence; Cost of the Confidence Gap; Gender Differences in Estimating Competence; The Relationship of Competence to Confidence; Men’s Tendency Toward Overconfidence; The Link Between Confidence and Ambition; Physiology and Confidence Differences; How to Show Confidence; Historical Inspiration: Eliza Stewart Boyd; (confident: “The belief in one’s ability to succeed by stimulating action through hard work, success, and even failure”)
8: Powerful – Women’s Ambivalent Relationship with Power; The Potential Influence of Power; Grace’s Relationship to Power; Grit’s Relationship with Power; Confidence and Power; Fulfillment and Power; Embracing Power as a Grace-Focused Leader; Choosing to Have Personal Power; Power Personified: Cindy Gallop; Developing Power Through Networking; Historical Inspiration: The Women of Wyoming; (powerful: “The ability to flourish, excel, reach for meaning and purpose, be empowered and empower others, and earn well”)
9: Resilient – Traits of Resilient Leaders; The 4 Values Resilient Leaders Foster; Personal and Professional Benefits of Resilience; Self-Prioritizing to Become Resilient; The Natural Resilience of Women; The Resilience of Women Under Stress; Building Resilience in Crisis Situations; Creating Organizational Resilience Through Transformational Leadership; Collaboration: Key to Organizational Resilience; Historical Inspiration: Pauline Bayer; (resilience: “The ability to bounce back, cope, renew, and revitalize when faced with challenges”)
10: Conclusion – Bringing Our Whole Selves to Work; Paving the Path to Leadership