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C.S. Lewis

A Grief Observed Paperback – February 6, 2001

by C. S. Lewis (Author), Madeleine L'Engle (Foreword)

2,204 ratings

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Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moment," A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections on that period: "Nothing will shake a man -- or at any rate a man like me -- out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself." This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I read Lewis for comfort and pleasure many years ago, and a glance into the books revives my old admiratation."-- John Updike"A very personal, anguished, luminous little book about the meaning of death, marriage, and religion."-- "Publishers Weekly

From the Back Cover

Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moments," A Grief Observed is C. S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections of that period: "Nothing will shake a man—or at any rate a man like me—out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself."

This is a beautiful and unflinchingly honest record of how even a stalwart believer can lose all sense of meaning in the universe, and how he can gradually regain his bearings.

Publisher : HarperCollins Publishers; 1st edition (February 6, 2001)
Language : English
Paperback : 76 pages
ISBN-10 : 0060652381
ISBN-13 : 978-0060652388
Reading age : 18 years and up
Item Weight : 3.28 ounces
Dimensions : 5.3 x 0.3 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #2,833 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #5 in Christian Death & Grief (Books)
- #6 in Sociology of Death (Books)
- #9 in Grief & Bereavement

Customer Reviews:
2,204 ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

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Sue Willard

Amazing

Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

I am not one who likes to read unless I am really captivated by the content. This book was awesome for several reasons. One, my son, who was 37 at the time, died in 2016. It was an instant death, unexpected, and almost unbearable. In reading this book I found words and phrases by CS Lewis that expressed my unspoken and actually unknown grief. For me, reading this book was like reading the journal of a man who struggled to come to terms with the death of his wife while at the same time coming to terms with himself as a Christian. Yet, his Journal was also my journal as I work through my own grief. Reading this book was actually comforting in that I knew that someone else understood my situation, really understood my situation, and offered insight and hope. Not just a surface hope but a hope that touches the inner core of grief. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has gone through the death of a loved one or who wants to comfort those who have gone through the experience. I think especially those in Ministry should read this book to help comfort those who mourn.

142 people found this helpful

Helpful

Jeffery Berry

For anyone who has had to politely swallow empty platitudes from well-meaning idiots after losing a loved one.

Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2017

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This book should be on the list of anyone who has suffered a loss and had to swallow platitudes about "God's plan" or "they're in a better place" from well-meaning people who don't have the faintest idea what they're talking about. Lewis, as always, sits down next to you and validates your grief like a true friend. He lets you rage, and cry, and even be furious with God, just as he did.

139 people found this helpful

Helpful

JB - A Guy

The Only Helpful Book on Grieving I've Found

Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2014

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I found this book 20 years ago when my beautiful daughter was stillborn. Of all of the things offered to me at the time, this was the only thing I read that provided any comfort. I am reading again now when a close friend has taken his own life and left a young, beautiful family behind. Neither event makes any sense to me. Both challenge my faith. You will not find any neat answers, cosmic solutions or expressions of God that will "help you get through it." You will read the journal of a man devastated by his loss. He writes of his grief as he observes it. He articulates the great internal battle that I suffered.

If you are grieving an enormous loss, you may find comfort here. I can't explain why, as C.S. Lewis did not include words of comfort. I have found absolutely no comfort in anything else I have read - with titles like Roses in December and so on. They tend to be written after the author had worked through the grief and can speak of it with the clarity of hindsight that the experience taught them. Well, when you are in the depths of sorrow, nothing makes any sense. Everything you believed has been knocked over. And that is exactly what C.S. Lewis describes in his own grief. It is profound. If you have not suffered a devastating loss, this book might not communicate well to you. But if you have, you will find a great mind and wonderful writer who understands your grief well enough to put words to it.

326 people found this helpful

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paul sellers

A very significant work

Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2017

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A journal written by C.S. Lewis from his personal experience upon the death of his wife. He tells of the shock, the stress, the doubts and frustrations with God and then his realization that in the long run there is a reason for our trials and God was with him all the time. His experience mirrored mine and Lewis shows way to cope. One of the very best grief novels that I have read since the loss of my wife December 2016. I recommend this book to anyone working their way through grief.

71 people found this helpful

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silentminority

Healing on every page

Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2017

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"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
With that sentence the book starts, and immediately every human being, living or dead, understands what Lewis means. I've felt it; you have, too. The rest of it simply works through from that one opening sentence. Even if (impossibly!) you've never known grief, reading this helps you understand that of others. One of the most valuable books ever written.

71 people found this helpful

Helpful

Ben G. Rencoret

Loss of wife.

Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2017

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Good to know that even a strong man of faith grieved deeply his loss of his precious wife. Lots of people, well meaning said she is now in the arms of Jesus. Yes, but my own grief for the loss still hurt and took me to a despair I had not known before . I have lost many members of my family but this was much more difficult and painful. C S Lewis helped me to walk thru and understand this grief. I am forever grateful for the time spent together and was sure God would heal her in a human way from the cancer. Today I know he is God and never makes a mistake. One must be willing to meet God on his terms and not our terms. There will be a day when I see her again and what a joy that will be. Its the hope given thru the bible , promised by Christ and written about throughout scripture .

46 people found this helpful

Helpful

J Ca

GREAT!!

Reviewed in the United States on October 8, 2015

Verified Purchase

GREAT!!! ~~ This helped me a lot. For someone like me, it really made sense. It was written in 1960, so keep that in mind. However, I felt the concepts were relevant and the writing is very beautiful. Whether you are Chrisitan or not, just substitute your beliefs or non-beliefs into the God parts. The spiritual theme is still there. It's not a requirement to believe in God to benefit from this book. Alternatively, it could really help someone who feels lost to find 'something' to believe in-whether it be love, God, whatever. Grief is a major thing. It's really hard, it takes a long time. It really changes your brain and it takes a while to find a path out of it. But, there is hope. Here are a couple of my fave quotes on grief: one from this book, one from another author...

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

"Your grief is your love, turned inside-out. That is why it is so deep. That is why it is so consuming.
We have all kinds of ridiculous judgements and rules about grief, loss and healing, but the truth is that grief shows us just how deep our love goes. When your sadness seems bottomless, it is because you love knows no bounds." - Alison Nappi, author

49 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Plantagenet

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be his Name.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 5, 2018

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Following the recent loss of my amazing wife many people told me that they could imagine how I felt - but they didn’t have the slightest clue.
Well-meaning people feel that they need to say something in sympathy but don’t know what to say and are unable to admit it.
This book hit the spot for me and I truly believe that my Heavenly Father directed me to it.
Here was a man, C.S. Lewis who really did know how I felt because he had actually been there.
My personal pain remains but God used this book to remind me that I was not alone, that my Heavenly Father held me still in his hands and used another man’s experience as that reminder.

26 people found this helpful

JennyB

Yellow stickies - measuring progress through grief!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 25, 2014

Verified Purchase

I was first signposted to this book nearly 18 years ago by a bereavement counsellor Maxine - who helped more than she knew or I ever told her!

At the time I really couldn't see my way out of almost stifling grief - but she gave me a copy of this book and suggested I read it - and pop a yellow sticky in the pages that most resonated with me.

A month or so on she suggested I re-read it and do the yellow sticky thing again - and already I could see I was moving on - if only through the stages of grief at that time. I hadn't believed it possible.

Several readings later - loads more yellow stickies - and months passed - and I finally understood what she'd been hoping for.

As hard as it seems - and as hard as it is to see - we do all move from where we started.

I found some of the book - especially the more religious bits hard going - and skipped over them - whilst appreciating even at the time that they might bring some comfort to others.

CS Lewis - wrote this book after the death of his love - portrayed in the film 'Shadowlands' - and despite being a rather restrained individual and theology boffin - went on to care for her son and from there we get the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe series - which made many kids like me really enjoy books.

I still have that original copy with all of the yellow stickies - and treasure it always as it tells my journey back to the land of the living far better than I could!

I've also bought copies for and passed on the yellow sticky advice on a very few appropriate occasions in the last 18 years. It has always helped.

A truly great book - inspirational and untold help.

If you ever find yourself in need of such a prop - well worth buying - and whilst the paper version and the yellow stickies - tried and tested - bookmarks or notes on kindle probably do the same thing.

I've just looked it out again on the recent death of a close friend's husband - and will be passing on a copy again.

38 people found this helpful

Gabrielle R.

Grief comes in a thousand guises.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 11, 2017

Verified Purchase

Helpful though a little heavy on the religious aspect. This to be expected knowing Lewis's background. Grief is very individual and his experience having married someone already having been diagnosed with cancer was different from mine as I had been married 34 years and the cancer was the bolt from the blue for my husband and I. Lewis showed a different kind of courage than most bereaved people need but nevertheless was a consoling read.

11 people found this helpful

Willow46

Quite deep

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 3, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is quite deep and although it’s about the loss of his wife / bereavement which I thought would maybe give me a bit of an understanding into my grief, it was more him questioning his religious beliefs, so didn’t really find it helped.

6 people found this helpful

J. Chambers

Someone who share the pain

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 14, 2014

Verified Purchase

I lost my beloved wife two years ago to cancer she was 62. I am a christian and have received a lot of support from friends at church. However grief was a subject that was never really discussed and comments like ' well at least she is with the lord now" didm;t really help . Anyway I have an aversion to to cliches and platitudes no matter how well meant. However this little book although has had me in floods of tears shows a real understanding of grief and helps me understand my grief. Although my wife died two years ago you learn to adjust and suppress grief because it is a private experience which you don't necessarily want to inflict on anybody else . This may be a typically male reaction to grief but to read the words of this great man who shared and understood my pain and I his is a life affirming and faith affirming experience

23 people found this helpful

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