- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 20th,Anniversary edition (January 10, 2017)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0061686077
- ISBN-13: 978-0061686078
- Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (366 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,275 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith Paperback – January 10, 2017
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“This book is required for all my classes. The more I use this book, the more I believe that unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people’s lives. It is the only work of its kind that I know of that outlines the problem and provides the solution.” (Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University)
From the Back Cover
Newly updated and expanded to commemorate its twentieth anniversary this classic resource helps people complete the grieving process and move toward recovery and happiness.
Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories as well as from others', the authors illustrate how it is possible to recover from grief and regain energy and spontaneity. Based on a proven program, The Grief Recovery Handbook offers grievers the specific actions needed to move beyond loss. New material in this edition includes guidance for dealing with:
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Top Customer Reviews
1) You're pretty much expected to work with a partner. The authors take pains to say you don't HAVE to work with a partner, but then each new exercise begins with an invitation to "reconsider" your choice to work without a partner and to "examine your reasons" for choosing to work alone. For people who have turned to books because they lack any other kind of support network, this constant prodding can be uncomfortable and may even serve to add to their feelings of loneliness.
2) The program is designed to help you move past your regrets and/or bring closure to any "unfinished business" that remains since the loss occurred. The primary tools are timelines/charts and communication (written and - if you're working with a partner - verbal). Because unresolved issues do tend to trap many people in their grief, this program would no doubt be of great use to many people. However, there are other sides to grief, issues which may not necessarily have their roots in "unfinished business", and there doesn't seem to be much acknowledgement of those other issues in this book.
Basically, if you're trapped in a cycle of "if only" and it's preventing you from dealing with your grief, this book will probably help you. But if you're at peace with the past and are simply struggling to cope with the future in the face of your loss, this may not be the book for you.
We've been trained that "boys don't cry", "have a cookie and you'll feel better", "forget the past", in other words stuff the feelings that make other people uncomfortable. Or as a good friend of mine use to do, compartmentalize: put everything in boxes in your mind and put them on a shelf in the back so you don't have to deal with them and they don't have to bother anyone else.
Unfortunately, emotional pain can be like an infection in your body. It may be scabbed over, but it's going to keep festering until you do what is necessary to heal it. Some people respond to the built up, festering pain by actually becoming physically ill. Some people grab an uzi and head to the mall. Then some people become angry, bitter people who turn to alcohol and/or drugs to numb the lifetime of unresolved pain. Either way the outcome isn't good for that person or the people around him/her.
This book helps the reader to understand these concepts clearly and simply. Then it gives you tools to finally heal. If you have lost a loved one to death, rest assured that the goal is NOT for you to bury them again, by trying to make you let go of your relationship with that person. It IS about expressing the pain caused by the loss and letting go of only that pain so that you can remember your loved one with a smile instead of a knife in the heart.
After my husband passed away, I worked with a grief recovery coach who trained at the Grief Recovery Institute with the authors of this book and founders of the institute. I highly recommend working with a grief coach when going through this book. If you cannot afford one, then find someone that you can trust to objectively and compassionately hear you through this process, maybe from a support group, or your church. Aside from the benefits of my coach's training and personal experience, I found working with someone kept me from procrastinating and helped me to push through the pain.
Just remember, the only way out of the pain is through it.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is my second order of these books to give away!
This book was highly recommended to me by a friend who is a...Read more